The Darkest Fire Bruns Out The Heart of Wicked Men

In the brightest light of day I see the darkest heart of men. Many people pass right by them without a single clue. Yet, I can feel, smell, and even taste the allure of the blackest lust of men all around me. It pucks out a sinister excitement. If it does not blacken the heart of every man, at least it will taint the soul. Such darkness travels without detection from one soul to the next. It separates soul and mind, replacing only a madding lust for all things destructive. How am I able to resist it? I don`t try. Instead of trying to resist such madness, I prefer to be tainted by it rather than be destroyed by it.

I can sense the darkest hearts of the darkest men because their darkness also dwells inside of me. Yes, I feel all the blood lust, rage, corruption, coldness, and chaos which drives the common blackened man in all his endeavors. I have knowledge of the darkness which split his soul and mind into a mesh of chaotic endless madness. We do not know each others name`s yet we do know a certain sickness which lurks along the mass population like a burning black fire. While his heart has been overtaken by the darkness, I am only tainted therefore I am at natural odds with the darkest hearts of men.

This natural and unavoidable conflict can be so subtle and vague that a simple passing expression or eye contact is enough to spark a shared madness of undetectable looming doom by the non-inflicted. Our battle ground is the metaphysical plain of existence only known to those effected by the dwelling darkness. An explosion of a million atomic bombs release an enveloping cloud of protective black energy blocking out all sound and outside influence; there will be blood. We cast a million strikes with our swords in a millionth of a second. As we attempt to slice our minds into utter nothingness, we absorb the black fallout form such a massive release of raw dark energy. The fallout seeps into our hearts and begins a chain reaction of fire, rage and lust. He who burns quickest, burns shortest. I burn but not outward. My fire retains the one thing which cannot be ruined; knowledge that I am not wicked simply tainted.

Battle ends. The darkness in the heart of men carries on.  

The Duality of My Tokyo Life

Back in September of last year I wrote about the Duality of Tokyo. Tokyo really is a city with two personalities. It is like being in two different cities. Yet, I have noticed a change in my own personality. Humans, by nature, process the ability to have duality in our personalities. We can change depending on our situation and personal emotions. This is a unique trait in the animal kingdom, found only in humans.

So yes, I have noticed a big change in the duality of my personality since moving to Tokyo. It is almost as if I am two different people at times. The person I am at work is very different compared to the person I am outside of work. I work at least five days a week; in rare situations even nine or ten days in a row. On these days, I wake up and start the process of becoming a corporate dick for a private English language company. It was not by custom to wear a suit and tie most days until I started living in Tokyo. Actually, I had very little interest at all in suits back in the states. These days, I have to put some effort to look all prim and proper before heading off to work.

Once I am in full suit and tie I must behave in a manner which is odd for me.I tend to be very straight laced and polite. I let a lot of things go for the sake of doing my job and maintaining the `right` image. I can feel myself become a very different person. I am more gentle and thinking about business, making money, and doing my best to be a quality teacher. At the time of doing all of this there is one thing I am not thinking about; the person I am deep down inside. I know this may sound strange but at times I feel as there is a switch in my brain. Ｉturn `it` on and off at a moments notice. In the past, before Tokyo, I never really found myself doing this kind of thing. These days it seems to be second nature to me.

So, am I cracking up or is all of this meant to be of sorts? Have I found some strange balance? One thing is for sure; I have become two different people. Yet, I wonder who is the real me. Well, in time I will understand such things much better. For now I am trying to enjoy the ride.

Duality of Tokyo

It comes as no surprise that Tokyo is a city of extremes. Being one of the largest cities on the world, Tokyo can be gentle as a babies behind or as a wild as a bobcat. If Tokyo was a women I would have to spend years putting much effort into understanding her odd nature. This city has the unique ability to change its overall vibe like day and night; literary!

During the day time Tokyo is one of the mellowest places in the world; as far as international jewel cities are concerned. While the city basically stays in a constant state of semi-chaos there is a calmness which befalls it providing an unspoken and strictly followed social order. As I am not born of Japanese blood it is hard for me to understand how a tightly ordered social structure has developed though the many years of Tokyo`s history. Yet, the Japanese have a nature sense of order which is not found in America.

The morning rush in Tokyo is a thing of legend and a perfect example of `order out of chaos` which is the hallmark of day times hours. Between the hours of 5:30 and 9:00 am on a weekday do not travel on the trains in Tokyo unless you have a good reason. It is during this time in which a mass of people make their way to work. A sea of humanity pack the trains to way over capacity. You would be hard pressed to find another city in the world in which the trains conductors push and shove people into the trains just to be able to close the doors. The people are sandwiched into the trains like a can of sardines. In a lot of places in the world this kind of transportation situation would be grounds for a mad rush in the morning requiring a heavy police presence just to maintain the peace. In Tokyo the morning rush is an ordered and clam experience despite the overwhelming amount of people using the train system.

All rules, both legal and social, are followed to a point during the day time. It is very rare to see someone get so-called out of line with the norm. The city operates like a well oil machine. A beast of a machine cranking out human production rolls down the highway of progress seemingly without a hitch. Almost everyone stops and waits for the cross walk stop light; no matter how narrow the street. Excuse me, thank you, and bowing is done all day long in what appears to be the most polite society in the world.

Although, when the five o`clock bell sounds in most parts of the city an alter ego surfaces to reveal a 180 degree shift in flow and attitude.

When most people start to get off work Tokyo changes. The bastard child of a high pressure and ordered society comes out to play. You can almost feel this change in the air. The city speaks to its residents tempting all with her pleasures and hidden delights. If you listen closely there is soft voice in the air saying, `You have worked hard enough my children. Come and enjoy the fruits of your labor.` There is a break down of social order in a way. Many things which would be considered rude during the day become totality acceptable during the night hours. You can be just about as loud and drunk as you choose as long as you do not get violent or make too much trouble. Many of the excuse me and thank you policies are thrown out the window in favor of wild times and drunken excess.

Yes, Tokyo is a city with a split personality. It can be a huge shock for some people making their first trip to the land of the raising sun. The best advice to handle the duality of Tokyo is to simply go with the flow at times. Try to keep your head straight and remember do not let these two very different personalities take you under.