Cheap Ass 7-11 Beer Gets You Drunk!

For all of you who currently live in Japan, I know you have seen it. That vile looking six pack of beer costing only 687 yen at the 7-11. Your better judgment guides you directly away from anything with a 7-11 logo on it calling itself `The Brew.` You take one look at it and say, `Fuck that I got standards.` Well fuck you too! Some of us need to drink for effect not taste or pride. In such situations our good friends at 7-11 have teamed up with Suntory to offer up the Japanese version of Redneck beer called `The Brew.`

Yes my friends, the brew is cheap as shit and will get you drunk. Throw taste completely out the window. Also, give up your pride when slapping a six pack of this stuff in front of the young gal working at your local 7-11. Trust me, you are not the first over worked and underpaid gaijin to buy this shit. I have even seem a few Japanese dudes go for it a few times. You know, in these hard economic times cheap beer is good for the soul.

Actually, I am no stranger to cheap beer. Back in the mountains of West Virginia we were known to get drunk on Natural Light very often. We made no bones about our intentions when picking up a case of `Natties.` Natural Light is true Redneck beer and 7-11`s The Brew matches it on all levels:

5% alcohol
Watered down flavor
Taste like the crap on the floor of the brewery
Gets you drunk!


When you want to get drunk and do not care about the quality of the beer; 7-11 beer is for you!

Cheese Flyes

From time to time I am sure every good man dives head first into a drinking binge. Sometimes it take a while for all the stress and anger to build up to the boiling point; yet it always does. Instead of going ape shit crazy, most guys simple hit the bars for a few days to blow off steam. This is what I have been going the past several days.

It all started Monday when it became my mission to drink the stress away. I met up with Jordan from Chiri mo tsumoreba. We hung out in Shibuya at a 300 yen boor bar on center gai. We got a pretty good beer buzz going before wondering around the local area.

While at the 300 yen beer bar I noticed something on the menu which is completely new to me. `Cheese Flyes` seems to be the house special. I know I should not give the Japanese too much crap for their English skill; yet sometimes it is too funny not to mention. They were trying to spell `Cheese Fries` although they spelled it according to the Japanese ascent so they wrote `Cheese Flyes.` Such misadventures in English provide cheap laughs when drunk.

A Cure for All ILLS

Working in Japan can be a real bitch sometimes. The long hours and the fucking `politeness system` is enough to dive a man crazy. Well, don`t go jumping in front of a train yet. I have the cure for all your stress relief needs. Beer! That`s right friends when the Japanese are about to drive you right in front of a train with all this, `Please do the job you were hired to do with a cherry on top crap,` just grab a few brews from the local quick stop. In no time at all you will not give a damn about much of anything except that cute gal staring at you from across the street.

Many people wonder how the Japanese are able to deal with having to be nice to even the laziest good for nothing S.O.B. Well, I will let you in on the secret; they know that all the beer they can drink is waiting for them as soon as they leave the office. You can drink yourself stupid just about any place you choose. Do you want to stand on the street corner and get shit-faced while watching all the cute skirt walk by? No problem in Japan! Do you want to stay at a bar all damn night trying to forget about the asshole you had to put the screws to at work? Hell, in Japan we will even give you a point card so you can earn free beer!

It seems in Japan drinking is much a part of life as working long hours and getting some young cute gal to call you papa-san. Where I was born and raised, public drunkenness would get you a night in the local lock-up. In Japan, the cops usually just roll their eyes and laugh at your drunk ass. So, if you have ever wondered why the Japanese are so liberal when it comes to drinking; now you know the truth. Being nice all the time will drive you crazy unless you drink like a fish on a regular basis.

What is most shocking of all is it is rare to see someone not show up for work due to a nasty hangover. They might struggle during the first few hours but they are usually not late. I have seen some of the J-staff in my company show up for work totally hungover; yet they are actually early for work. When it is time to start the day`s business they are locked and loaded. It takes more than an all night bender to break us hard working Tokyo types.

Eki Beer

Slowly my habits have changed since moving to Tokyo. I find myself doing things which I have never had the habit of doing before. Case in point is the after work Eki beer. I know that some people would make a big fuss about drinking a beer on the train after work. I don`t understand why some people get upset about it; but they do all the same. Anyway, usually I grab a tall boy from the local 7-11 on my way home. It is easy for me as well as convenient. The train ride from Nerima to Bukudo is lonely as not so many people are using the local train when I get off work. So, I can get a whole car to myself to relax and a tall cold one.

I have been doing the `Eki beer` thing for several months now. It is kind of like an after work tradition for me. I really do not feel like I have gotten off work until cold beer passes across my lips. Well, after a while all traditions must be modified just to keep things fresh. So, recently i have had more interaction with instructors and management. This leads to many more chances to go out and get hammered. Sadly, getting totally smashed everyday after work really wears me down. A solution to this is the Eki beer at the station. Recently, when I have a partner for the day we usually end up have an Eki beer after work. When we arrive at bukudo we hang out for a bit at the station and finish off our beers. While this is fun nothing beats buying a few cans of beer and slamming then down at front of the JR Yamanote central entrance. I have caught several good buzz right there at the JR Yamanote gate.

So, remember kids if you really want to relax after work grab yourself cheap beer from the 7-11, find a good seat on the train, and slam down a cold one. Even better plan a meet up with a drinking buddy for a few rounds at the station. A change of pace is good for everyone.

Poison

I finally did it to myself. Recently, I drank to the point of poisoning myself. I have not had alcohol poisoning since I was in college. Even then it was because I had been drinking MD 40/40 all night. I thought that at my age I would not have to worry about alcohol poisoning. I was confident that no matter how much I drink I would not get poisoned. Yet, on a recent bender with the rest of the management team I drank myself to the point of near death.

I like to get a good drunk going on just as much as the next guy. Hell, I have had many all night drinking fests in Tokyo. The problem with this most recent bender is the amount and time span I drank. After finishing up a meeting it was decided that we would go out for `a few drinks` to unwind. I knew that my fellow brass are hard drinkers. Our group included: a Scottish guy, an Aussie, a Nuzzie, one Japanese dude, and two Americans(including myself). I knew that I would have to drink a lot to keep to with these guys but I did not expect the amount of alcohol they were able to get down.

Anyway, we went to a bar that offered all you can drink for 2,500 yen; with a two hour limit. So, we had to drink like crazy people to get our monies worth. We tend to be mostly a rough bunch so before long the entire table was filled with large glass bottles of beer. The whole situation turned into a drunken boys club real quick. We transformed into a loud drunk gang of salarymen. We kept drinking glass after glass of beer while talking shit and swapping stories. Being the joker that I am, I told a few tales that got the full attention of everyone. I did not noticed that everyone was listening to me until the other American guy said, `Damn, we are all hanging on your every word.` I guess I am just one of those people. I am good at telling a good devilish Tokyo story.

Well, I had a damn good time but the next morning was not so much fun. I woke up at the crack of dawn; as usual. My entire body felt like it was shutting down. My skin was crawling, stomach twisting into knots, and my head felt like an exploding A-bomb. It took me a while to even be able to get out of bed. I tried to drink a cup of coffee but I threw it up as soon as it hit my stomach. Before I left the house I threw up two more times. When I smoked a cig it only made me want to throw up even more. Every time I changed trains I had to rush to the bathroom to puke my guts up. Nothing would stay in my stomach. By the time I reach the Ikebukuro station I was fully aware that I was poisoned.

When I arrived at work my office lady quickly realized that I was completely hung-over. She laughed at me real hard. She knew who had been with the night before so I guess that fact made my condiction even more funny. She asked if I was ok and I told her, `Hell no I am not ok.` My responce only made her laugh even harder. She is a nice gal so she was gentle to me while at the time no showing me too much mercy. Before I started the days work I puke one more time. The last time had to be the worst. The stuff, a bit of coca-cola, sandwich, and some water, came flying out of my stomach like a monkey on crack. After that I started to feel a little better. I was able to perform at the expected level; but I still struggled a little. I was not really able to eat much until late Monday night. Before I went to bed I was able to get down come curry soup.

So, have I learned my lesson? For now yes, but I know that the next time the boys ask me to go drinking I will jump in head first. Oh fuck! Will I ever learn?

J-blog of the Week Ed. #2 Gaijin Tonic

OK. So, this week I am a little late getting the J-blog of the week posted-up. Well, I have to admit that I have been busy this week. Working life in Tokyo can be a real bitch sometimes. Yet, the internet waits for no one, so here we go with this week`s j-blog of the week.

With all the hard work I have been putting in as of late, I thought that a website about drinking would be fitting. Japan is known for its love of drinking; as least anyone living in Japan knows this. There are endless amounts of bars and such to get you good and plastered. Well, one English speaking J-blog has taken up the task of exploring the joys of drinking in Japan. Gaijin Tonic is your one stop site for all thing drinking in the land of the raising sun.


This site has been up for several years. It would way too difficult to try and break down all the different sections but there are some post which do showcase Gaijin Tonic nicely.

Japanese drinking games is an on going series on Gaijin Tonic. Every nation has drinking games. Hell, back in the states `Beer Pong` was always a favorite. In Japan they tend to get a little more creative. The Battle Royal Drinking game is a must for those who like to mix ultra violence with getting smashed. Battle Royal is a movie about Jr. High school kids killing each other for sport, while being sponored by the government, to see who is the best. Add a few friends and a crap load of drinks, now you have the battle royal drinking game.

Drinking games is not all that Gaijin Tonic has to offer. If is about drinking and Japan there is a good chance you will find it at Gaijin Tonic. Check out the post on such topics as bizarre bar names, Japanese beer ad girls, Fish Beer, Beer and Bikinis, learn of the joys of bonenkai, Halloween in Japan, as well as planty of other things to delight the drunk inside of you.

What I really like most about this site is the honest look at living daily life in Japan. A lot of people like to hold on to the romantic image of Japan portrayed in the movies. When you actually start to live and work in the land of the raising sun the realty of an overworked and high stress society becomes clear as day. I may not know about the lifestyle of people from all across Japan, but in Tokyo as least, after a hard days work most people just want to get trashed and have some fun. Gaijin Tonic makes the best of the situation by offering up plenty of good stories about getting drunk in Japan as well as a lot of other drinking madness.

So, before having the next drink with a co-worker, friend, or `special` lady/guy check out Gaijin Tonic for lots of ideas for making the night even more fun than usual.

Under the Rader

For the past few days I have been laying low in Tokyo. My activities have been limited to work, a couple of dinner outings, and a Sunday evening hair cut . In four days I have not had a single drop of beer or other spirits. I have not ventured into the depths of Tokyo after hours in several days. I have really had no desire to be out and about much at all. This does not mean I have not been thinking and planning for the near future.

As I have been kind of living under the radar as of late it has given me time to plan out some decent merry making as a opposed to random chaos. Tokyo offers so much if a person just takes the time to do a little research and touch base with a few connections. While it is easy enough to fire a shotgun into the water and see what floats to the surface; a more refined approach can offer even larger rewards.


Tommy the Painter rides Again!

For example I was getting a hair cut in Harajuku on Sunday when my friend Tommy the painter calls me. Tommy is a real keen guy so talking to him takes a little focus. His mind moves from one thought to the next so fast that it is sometimes hard to make heads or tails of what he is trying to say. From what I able to pick up from our conversation he has been hanging out with some hippies from the mountains all weekend in Yoyogi park. They gave him some hippie stuff and something else as well. Tommy wants me to hang with him at the bridge in Harajuku Thursday. I look forward to another adventure with Tommy.


My First Tokyo Halloween!


This Halloween will be a first for me in Tokyo. I have checked-out the almost endless options to have fun on Halloween. It appears that every bar in town is offering some kind of costume party or all night drink fest. It really is hard to choose which place to celebrate the best holiday in the world. There is way too much vice for one guy to handle in Tokyo on Halloween. Tokyo offers enough vice as it is, but now the whole town will be crawling with goulash drunk city folk who want nothing more than to burn the city to the ground. I have picked out a place but I am still not sure if I will actually go. I mean, I want to be out on Halloween having a little fun but I want to make sure I pick a place that fits my personality. In the end no matter how I choose to celebrate Halloween I am sure it will be a hell of a good time.


Horror Punk at the Earthdom.

My favorite underground punk bar and my favorite Japanese punk band have finally come together. Balzac will be playing at the Earthdom in Shin-Okubo this November the third. Balzac takes a lot of their influence from the Misfits. Despite the heavily influenced Misfits look and style, Balzac stands tall as a band in their own right. I have not heard or seen anything else like Balzac come out of the underground punk scene in Tokyo. They take dark punk metal to a whole new level. I have not seen this band play in several years so I am going to be there come hell or high water. From the looks of things I can most likely finish work with plenty of time to get to the Earthdom. I hope my work schedule does not change because I usually finish work at 6:30 on a holiday but if things stay the same at work I can get off at around 5:00 on November the third. The show starts at 6:30 so I am really hoping to get off work early. Either way I am going to that show! If anyone would like to join me just let me know and I will try to set it up.



So, I may have been flying under the radar as of late but the near future is filled with more adventures. I can only guess as to the tales I will gain and the experience I will earn. Although, that is what I think of life in Tokyo in general.

Does Tokyo Drink Too Much?

A big issue that is rarely addressed in Tokyo, as well as all of Japan, is looking at how much we drink. Anyone who spends any amount of time in Tokyo will notice that there are a hell of a lot of bars here. You can get a drink at any time day or night in Tokyo. It is very easy to have a stiff shot of Jack at four in the morning; I know because I have done this. It would seem that getting drunk is a way of life in Tokyo.

There are very few social rules concerning drinking in Tokyo. I have heard and personally had enough experiences with drinking in Tokyo to get a very clear picture of the attitude towards staggering drunks. The Japanese tend to be friendly and helpful to slobbering drunks most of the time. Now, there are times when some people go way over the line to the point in which not even the Japanese can forgive; but you have to get pretty drunk to reach that point. For the most part being drunk off your ass is viewed as funny rather than disrespectful. Most people in Tokyo have been one of the `last train` people who are only one more drink away from being unable to stagger onto the train. The train workers, in most cases, will help you out if you cannot handle the task of getting into the train on your own power. Even the police take a light heartened attitude towards those of us who have had one too many. Why does a culture, which at times is as straight laced at they come, have a deep acceptance of drunken hijinks?

The answer to this question could be found in the fact that the culture is so straight laced and thick upper lipped. Drinking is one of the very few accepted ways of letting off steam in Japan. Many people in Tokyo work their balls off sometimes to the point of near insanity. With a very hectic lifestyle, a high pressure social order, and sometimes very long work hours it is no wonder that Tokyo people are some of the biggest drunks in the world. I, like many people in the land of the raising sun, have a love of a good drink. I can also admit that I have been a little too drunk a few times. Although, I have never gotten to the point of loosing total control of myself. This cannot be said of everyone. Most people have got the one story of witnessing someone who got totally out of hand and did something that will go down in Tokyo drinking legend.

Work hard and drink seems to be the battle call of Tokyo city. During the day it is a mostly well ordered and square place as you could find in the world. Most people are all dressed up in business wear and serious as a hand grenades.The great exodus of people marching to work from six to nine a.m. is like an army of working class drones right out of 1984. No one showing any hint of drunken madness, just a sea of ties and blank faces. One would think that such a hoard of uptight working people would never resort to daily mass drinking and merry making. This show of order and conservative behavior is just a front induced by a culture which demands focus and conformity in ones daily life. The social and cultural pressures placed on people on a daily basis can be overwhelming at times.

Once five o`clock rolls around and the sun starts to set a very different atmosphere takes hold of the city. When the sun sets Tokyo becomes a play ground of sorts for both young and old alike. It is time to get drunk, laid, and cut business deals in a nightlife with a very different set of rules apart from the day time hours. What is forbidden behavior during the day can at times become all well and fine during the night. I have said many times that in the Tokyo nightlife if you turn over enough rocks you will find exactly what you want.

So, does Tokyo drink too much? Well when compared to some cities in the world yes. Although, within the aspects of Japan the level of drinking in Tokyo is only a reflection of the alter ego of a tightly ordered social structure.

Wondering in Harajuku and Aoi

My adventures in Tokyo have their moments. When I have off time from work I must do something. I feel like my off days are wasted if I do not get into something. Although, there are times when I just want to relax and take it easy, those times are rare. Yesterday, I ventured out to Harajuku to hang with Tommy and my other art friends from Vietnam.

Now, there are not the type of guys that you call up and plan to meet some place. They are more free flowing kind of people. You just have to know where I hang out and go there to meet them. Usually, they can be found at the bridge in front of the temple in Harajuku. As usual they were there selling paintings and hanging out. They are always happy to see me. They consider me to be not a normal western person; which is the main reason they have taken such a fondness to me. Tommy does the majority of the talking as he is the leader of their little gang. They are really laid back at all times. As soon as Tommy spotted me he gave me a hug and suggested that we buy from beers from the convenience store. I agreed of course and soon we had beers for the four of us. There are few things better than sitting on the streets drinking beer and hanging out. Tommy smoked some spice with me and we talked about random things of life and the universe.

Thin(Vietnam name) paining live on the streets of Harajuku


After some time I wanted to wonder around a bit. Tommy was all for it and off we went into the depths of Harajuku. The whole area carries with it a more relax feel then say Shibuya. People who hang out in Harajuku often are different from most people in the city. In Harajuku they can be accepted and do pretty much do what ever they please. The alternative lifestyle of Harajuku is what attracts me to the area. No worries in Harajuku!

Tommy and I ended up stopping at a cool art gallery. If you have not seen this place it is well worth checking out. If go all the way the end of main street and cross the highway there are lots of little sides streets. Wonder around for a bit and you will find this little gem in Harajuku. Remember a city hunt always has it rewards. Anyway, we hung out for a while and drank a beer. As luck would have it Tommy started talking to a fellow Giajin named Eric from Cali. He was very friendly and quick to make friends. We talked about Tokyo for a while before making our way back to the front of the temple. Eric parted ways and we are making plans to hang again soon. This is proof that Gaijin in Tokyo actually do talk to each other. The situation just has to be right.

Drinking with Tommy at the art gallery



My wife meet me in Harajuku to hang out with me. M.K. states that she is hungry as hell so Tommy suggest a good curry shop in Harajuku. We say goodbye to Tommy`s gang and make our way to a great little curry shop. I am very keen on curry. I love the stuff! This place has some damn fine curry. Even M.K. loved it; although I think it was because she was just very hungry and anything would taste good. Curry must have a proper balance of spice and hotness; and of course the nam must be up to snuff. They really hit all points. The nam was great! I has a type of nam that I have never tired before. It came in mid size slices filled with meat and onions. M.K. played it safe and want for the normal over sized nam. We both had chicken curry and lamb curry. I will have to go to this place again.

Hungry, Hungry M.K. loving her nam and curry


After curry came a little shopping for me. M.K. loves to shop with me for some reason. While this is usually a female habit I have somehow picked up the love of shopping. Maybe, I have spent too much time with M.K. and she has implanted this love of shopping into my head. Either way it is fun to shop around and find cool stuff to wear. We went to the WeGo. It is a cool place that opened in Harajuku eariler this summer. It is mostly a vintage shop with very good prices. I picked a great pair of jackboots and a attractive looking pair of jeans; attractive because they are tight punk style jeans except no holes. A fashion show was in order when we got back to the house.

The Che hat is just for effect. I am not turning red! LOL


Before we went back to Aoi we stopped for a cup of coffee at a nice little coffee shop in Harajuku. It was a good place but they served my coffee in a strange coffee bowl. I guess it is one of those things that can be spoken of as `only in Tokyo.`



Drinking it was very awkward



Well, after a fine day just hanging out it was time to bed down for the night; at least for M.K. My off days are currently Thursday and Friday`s so while M.K. had to sleep I did not. I put her to bed and surf the net for a while until I got board. I decided to wonder around Aoi for the rest of the night. I ended up walking around drinking and taking a few photos. Here is the result:

TimeOut in Shibuya

I am setting in the confides of a little box at an internet cafe in Shibuya. This is first time to send some time at one of these places. It has proven to a most excellent place to get a little sleep, relax, and nurse a hangover. I have pretty much everything I need to slow down for a bit. I can listen to music, surf the net, have a bite to eat, and take a little nap. The reason I am hiding out in this odd little hole is because I have been in Shibuya all night and half of today.

Thursday evening I met up with my co-worker Hamed. This guys from India and has a most interesting character. Really cool guy for sure but he still has not been out and about in Tokyo after almost of year of living in the city. From what I can gather he has been holding up in a love nest with a little Japanese gal. He is still on the first year of marriage. Well, our little venture was a first for Hamed to wonder about in Shibuya. I decided to show him around the area.

The first stop on our little gonzo adventure was a head shop down a back street. I got two packs of spice and suggest that Hamed do the same. Hamed was a little surprise that we were able to get a hold of some kind of `legal` drug in Tokyo. He did have his doubts even though he did not express it. Every time I go to this head shop I an amazing by now low key the shop keeps itself. Not even head shops in the States are this low key. The damn back street looks like the kind of spot you beat somebody up in or sell coke out of. All the place needs is a back door to a girl bar and it would be like something out of a gangster movie!

Well, after buying some spice we went to a coffee across from 109 to prepare for smoking. We did not brother buying a cup of coffee as it was not part of our agenda. Smoking is allowed on the third floor. I had Hamed take a seat and chill while I made a trip to the bathroom. The process of rolling spice is something I have only recently learned. You must mix the stuff with tobacco. It takes the edge off and helps to cover the smell. After rolling it up I left with Hamed and ended up in a out of the way spot in between two buildings. It was easy smoking and in short order we had the stuff smoked up. Hamed enjoyed the buzz as he has not been high in a long time.

Until around 11:30 we went from bar to bar getting drunk and have some cheap laughs. We ventured to the Hobglobbin, Hub, Gaspanic and some random japanese drinking bar. It has been a while since I drank so much beer. By the time Hamed left I was feeling pretty drunk. So, I decided to spent the night in Shibuya just for the hell of it. I went back to the hub and drank some more beer. I started up a good conversation with some guy from Germany. He was funny and kept me focued and not passing out like a fool. We drank and talked until the staff tossed us out at closing time.

After I parted ways with my drunk German friend I was really out of my wits. I wondered around Shibuya and ended up chilling in front of HMV. I got real relaxed and passed out. I must have been asleep for about an hour when a cop woke me up and told me to move along. No problem for me because I hate sleeping outside on the street. I staggered to an internet cafe and slept there for about six hours.

I left the internet cafe at around 9:00 am. I had a splitting headache and felt kind of confused. I wondered around Shibuya trying to wake up and get my head right. I hung out at a coffee shop for a while drinking coffee and smoking cigs. The morning in Shibuya was actually not bad at all. It was calm and not so many people. I saw no real point in going home so I went back to the internet cafe; which is were I am now. Just another day in Tokyo.

A Tokyo Blur

I am coming off the heels of a Tokyo Blur. What is a Tokyo Blur? Well, it is when you fall into a dark hole of work and play. In Tokyo is seems all too easy to live a lifestyle so fast and full of twist and turns you can become lost in all the madness. Even now, as I sit here writing this blog, I am struggling to remember exactly what happened over the past week. While I am no stranger to fast times Tokyo does have ability to eat your soul more quickly then most large cities. Almost every pleasure and desire can be fulfilled in this godless city.

My trip into a Tokyo Blur stated last Sunday. When I got off work I got a call from my baby M.K. She and Fumika arranged for a meet up at a nice bar/restaurant type of place in Shinjuku. I was feeling tired but also feeling like a cold beer to go down my thirsty mouth. I remember forcing myself to shake off the stress and tension which comes with work. After work I usually get into two different moods. Either I am gun ho crazy or tired asshole with a taste for beer. Last Sunday evening I was feeling somewhere in between my usually after work moods. I wanted to hang but did not want to deal with a load of bullshit. M.K., Fumika and I have been friends the age of 19 so I cannot turn an invite to hang with my two favorite girls in the whole world.

We met at the Shinkuju station at something called the 7-8. I am not used to hanging out in Shinjuku so I cannot give good direction of exact location of this place; but it was cool none the less. It always feels good the hang with M.K. and Fumika. Hell, I married M.K. so I see her everyday but a I feel a certain magic when the three of us get together. They know me better than anyone else in this world. I have known these gals for most of my adult life.

We got into the usual drinking and merry making. I always feed off Fumika`s very high level of energy. She can be a ball of excitement at times. Even in the worst of times this gal can smile and laugh. I really respect her ability to put a happy face on even the darkest of situations. Lately, she has been dealing with some rally fuck-up shit. I feel sorry for her and what she is having to go though in life. Although, she can still smile which is good.

The three of us talked about old times. There is so much history between the three of us you could write a book! All those crazy days in college and insane drunken nights in Tokyo make for a close friendship. We ended up getting pretty drunk. I do not really remember how I got home.

From left to write: M.K., Fumika




The next morning I woke up to the sound of M.K. blow drying her hair at 7:30 a.m.! Tuesday was my day off and the last thing I wanted to hear was the sound of a blow dryer. I had a splitting headache and M.K. was in full blown `getting ready for work mode.` I let out a sad long morn, which was answered by M.K. saying, ` You stupid drunk bastard that is what you get. Get the fuck up!` I guess I am the only person in the world who understands M.K.`s crude sense of humor. Out of spite I actually got up and unplugged her blow dryer. She threw the blow dryer at me and attempted to tickle me but I was ready for her. I pinned her down and tickled her until her said sorry for calling me a drunk bastard. She gave in only because she had to get ready for work. Usually a tickle match is serious business for M.K. and it is rare for her to loose. I enjoyed the moment as the victor with a little dance. M.K. vowed revenge and flipped me the bird.

All of the early morning hi jinks did nothing for the pounding in my head. I took a warm shower, which only relieved my pain sightly. The only real cure for a hangover and death black coffee and dumplings. As M.K. was putting the finishing touches on her makeup I brewed a evil pot of coffee I tricked her into having a drink from my cup. She hates really strong coffee. She took a big drink and then quickly slapped me across the face. Of course I just laughed it off and gave her a kiss. She loves me so all was forgiven. She did told harbor from emotions as she left for work because I was cooking my kick-ass dumplings.

Anyway, after eating good damn cook fried dumplings it was time to get in some web surfing. I checked out japansoc.com for a while. japansoc is becoming my favorite place to visit. It really has a great community and always provides great blogs written by gaijin living in Tokyo. There is also the interesting news articles and photos as well. If you have not got yourself an account at japansoc you really are missing out on one the best online communities with a focus on Japan. So, get an account jack-ass!

So, around 1:00 pm I finally left the house. Now I have to say the TX is one of the best yet one of the worst trains to deal with in Tokyo. The damn thing is very clean and fast but at the Aoi station the wind issue drives me crazy. As far as I know Aoi is the only station on the TX line which has wind issues. Every time a train passes the entire station becomes a mimi-wind tunnel. If you put effort into your hair everyday like I do Aoi station is a nightmare. Aoi station and I have been at war for a while now and it is still a dead tie. I will win in the end you just wait.

Well, I ended up in Harajuku. It is actually one of the my usual stomping grounds in Tokyo. I go there mostly because if you are a `different` person like myself people will accept you. No body gives me any shit there and I do not have to put up with off color comments from soaks without a clue. I headed down to Jack`s to get a jar of grease for my hair. Jack`s is my favorite retro-graser shop in Tokyo. It is a little shop off a side street on main street in Harajuku. They have the best hair grease for that instant cool look that all greasers strive for. I got myself some extra hard hair grease called `cool grease.` I also talked to the guy working the counter. Ends up that he is the base player for The Rizlas(a super cool rock a billy band). We talked about hair and music a little bit before I left.

My next stop was in front of the temple to meet up with Tommy the painter. Tommy is a guy from Vietnam. He was the first person I became friends with after moving to Tokyo. He is a laid back kind of guy. Real easy to talk to. If you ever go by the temple in Harajuku check out Tommy`s paintings and buy one please. Anyway, the first thing Tommy says to me is `do you want to get high?` Well, hell yes I wanted to get high. So, Tommy leaves his painting in the care of one of his friends and all we go to Shibuya. Once in Shibuya he takes me to a head shop in a back street in Shibuya. The guy working behind the counter looked high as a kite and happy as a pig in shit! Tommy asks me how many I will take. Hell, I had no idea what I was about to buy so I was one. Tommy get two and I get one of something called spice. A 100 percent legal drug sold over the counter. Well, this is good for me because I have been wanting to get high for months!

We get the stuff and head the Yoyogi park to prepare this strange drug for smoking. We find a spot in the woods. Tommy takes the pack I bought and empties it on my hat. He then removes all the tobbaco from a cig. After that he mixes the spice and the tobacco together and put it back into the cig. it is time to go! We talk back to the front of the temple smoking this spiked smoke.

At first, I did not feel anything and wondered if it was going to work. Tommy just winked at me and said, `any second now you are going to go on a little journey.` Well, Tommy boy was right on the money. By the time we were back at the above ground subway elevator I felt as if I was about to trip my ass off. The stiff hit me like a ton of bricks! Maybe it was the fact that I had not been high for several months or `Spice` really was that good. I felt a strong feeling of floating on air. I totality lost my sense of placement and awareness of myself or where I was at. The only thing I knew was that I was in Harajuku, Tokyo and I was high on some strange drug I bought at a head shop in a back street in Shibuya. I felt so happy damn happy. I could stop smiling and laughing. Colors were very vivid. At some points it almost hurt to look at the world around me. I experienced a connect to the city that I had never felt before. For the first time I felt one with Tokyo. It was as if I was apart of the city itself. I can sum up the experience as a mix between a coke, acid, and a pot high all at once.

High with Tommy the painter


Around 7:30 M.K. calls me. I was slightly relieved because I was damn hungry. Tommmy was totality out of his wits and all too happy to sit on the streets of Harajuku until the late hours of the night. I, on the other hand, was itching to move to somewhere else. I agreed to meet M.K. in Ginza to grab some food and catch a movie. The train ride to Ginza was interesting to say the least. The real effect of the drug hit me while on the train. Now, I do not know exactly this shit is or where is comes from, but it really turns your head for a loop. While on the train I started to look at everyone and they started to change. All the people`s yellow skin looked orange. Their eyes looked like little black 8 balls. It was not an extreme hallucination but I did not expect it at all. I just went with the flow and my mind accepted the slight change in perspective quickly. You can image how happy I was to see M.K.

I did not tell M.K. that I was on this strange drug. I thought is would more interesting to see her from this different perspective. We grab some pretty good curry from a ramdon shop in Ginza. The food was really good and help me come down from this very strange high. I have an odd love of curry. Actaully, I could eat the stuff everyday and ever set sick of it. Although, my stomach might start to hate me for all the spicy food. The movie we saw are the The Dragon Kingdom. This was the best movie I have seem this year. It is loosely based on the legend of Goku the monkey king. If you have not read the The Monkey King you really need to check this piece of writing out for sure. The flick has Jackie Chan and Jet Li together for the first time in the same movie! They work well together. They both have very different fighting and acting styles. Jackie displays his funny and skilled art of drunken boxing while Li shows off this mater kung-ku skills. An added bonus in this movie is that Jet Li plays the role of the seeker and the monkey king! He does a great job of bring the monkey to life. The monkey king is meant to be a funny, happy, honest, tricky, and a little stupid kind of character. Jet Li pulls it off like a master actor. Watch this damn movie!!

Anyway....the next two days were kind of a haze for me. It was just teaching and getting the soft treatment from M.K. The gal does have her moments. I really feel she is a very special person in this evil world. At times she can be a fireball of pure fury from hell while in some moments she can as gentle as a kitten. She can breath fire that smells like the sweetest rose. We are as tight as white on rice. I am lucky to have found her in this life.

Thursday night brought an evening at my favorite local bar. Every man needs his place to get drunk and be left the fuck alone; even in Tokyo. My place is a mis-sized bar(by Tokyo standards) about two blocks away from my apartment in Aoi. It really is the kind of place in which everyone knows my name. I am a regular to this dive so the bartender knows exactly what I life to drink. It is rare for me to ask for me first drink. He knows that I want a tall cold Ebisu Black. I am keen on black beer. I usually enjoy the dark stuff. Ebius black is one of the best black beers in the world. It has a nice sweet taste flowered with a gentle bitter after taste. If you have not tried a Ebius black then go and have one asshole! I got pretty drunk that night. I always a good drunk.

All good and drunk



Friday saw an evening in Shibuya. Now, my only goal in Shibuya was buying some more of that spice stuff. The first thing I did when a arrived in Shibuya was go to the head shop and buy two packs of the strange little drug that Tommy turned me onto. I was able to find the little shop in quick order. I bought two packs of spice and left the place. The problem presented itself as to how and where to smoke the shit. I had some papers on me so I decided to smoke it like a joint; but where to roll it and where to smoke it. I could have walk to Yoyogi and roll in smoke in peace but I did not feel like talking that far. Instead, I went to a coffee across from the 109. I did not brother to buy a cup of joe. I went straight to the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom I took a pack of spice and empty the contents on the sink table. The stuff looks just like pot! I did not waste time. I rolled this crazy stuff up into a joint. One pack actually will give you about a dimes worth. After rolling it up I got the hell out of the coffee shop.

Something called spice




I choose a side street to smoke my little strange smoke. I felt really odd to be smoking a joint of `legal` drugs on the damn streets. It make a heavy stink which did nothing for my nerves. It smells like burning wood chips in a brush fire. I lit a cig to try and cover the odd smell. It not take long for the shit to take effect. Smoking the stuff full blown as apposed to mixing it with tobacco is a big difference. About half-way though the joint I started to feel real funny. My head was about to leave my body. I had to put the shit out and left a good sized roach for later. I have to say it was a damn good high. I wondered around Shibuya for a while trying to get my wits about me. After a while I simply gave into the drug. I struggled to walk abound but I did not stagger. I ended up at the Hobgoblin. The Hobgoblin is the best bar in Shibuya. It is a little expensive but well worth the extra price of the beer. They got the finest selection of beer! I got a good drunk going to add to my buzz while I chatted away for the bartender. It was a good time for sure.

Around 9:00 M.K. finally called me home. To be honest the only thing I remember from this past weekend was work and a lot of wild ass sex. I am not going to go into details because it is a wife after all. So, I will leave it to your our sick mind to fill in the details.

Don`t worry I will get the all the gonzo insanity started up on Thursday. Until them be like pop and not like sis, flip the lid before you piss.

An Unexpected Tokyo Funeral

I have learned from experience that Tokyo will always provide an strange twist to the human experience. The strangest twist Tokyo can throw at a person come in the late hours of the night. After hours in Tokyo is a brave and odd world. Case and point is how I spent this past Friday night.

Recently, I have made a nameless friend. I call him nameless because I am still as of yet unsure of his name. I met him at a bar late at night recently. He is a night crawler like me. He is odd for sure but he is also harmless enough and nice to me. He speaks very little English but that does not stop him from wanting to be friends with me. He likes to drink, hang-out, and wonder around Tokyo late at night looking for something to get into. He is my kind of friend for sure.

My nameless friend calls me at 10:30 pm wanting to meet and hang-out for a while. He is able to tell me that his uncle just died and he wants to hangout. He seems not too upset about the death of his uncle. His main concern seemed to be a desire to hangout with me. We are able to communicate and agree to meet at the Asakusa station; which is about a 20 minute walk from my apartment. When I actually get to the station he is not there yet. I hang around for about 5 minutes before my cell phone rings. My nameless friend is on the other line and he struggles to tell me that he will be at the station soon. I tell him to meet me at the Denny`s in front of the station. Ten minutes later he shows up half drunk and with a big smile on his face. He then tells me that we are going to a `heart warming party` at a funeral home.

`This crazy bastard is taking me to a fucking funeral home in the middle of the night to drink!` I think to myself. I hold back my culture shock to simply smile and agree. It seems to make him real happy that I agree to go with him to a funeral home for drinking. He say to me with much glee, `We get free drinks no pay.`

Due to his drunkenness the walk to the funeral home was a eventful one. He had a half empty bottle of sake with him. He found it very funny to be drinking on his way to the funeral home. I found it a little odd to be drinking while walking to a funeral but I have learned from experience to just go with the flow in Tokyo and everything will be ok. Sake can get a person drunk real fast. The stuff taste like backwash but the effect is well worth the less than pleasant taste. We quickly found ourselves wondering onto the road and avoiding traffic. Every time a car almost hit us we burst out into laughter. It did not take long for my nameless friend to become lost. We came onto a Koban station. My friend has very little respect for the police. He laughs at the police as we come up to the Koban station. He says, `Japanese Cop weak. He will tell me where funeral.` My first reaction is to hide the bottle of sake in my jacket pocket but my friend grabs the bottle from me. He walks into the little Koban station with the bottle of sake, puts his arms around the cop and demands directions. To my surprise the cop does not try to arrest us and offers to tell us where we need to go. He proved to me that Japanese Cops really are weak. In America we would have been arrested and got a free night in the drunk tank.

After harassing the cop we walk a little more until we get lost again. We stumble into a noodle bar and ask for directions. The guys at the noodle bar are even more drunk than we are so they could not be of much help. We then cross the street, and almost get hit by two cars, to the 7-11. People who work at the many 7-11`s around Tokyo are some of the most helpful people in Tokyo. The guy working at the counter is more than happy to give up detailed directions to the funeral home. I buy a couple of cokes and say thank you for the help.

As we make our final descent to the funeral home we get lost again. It is late at night and there is almost no one on the streets. As luck would have it some random cute gal in a business suite comes walking towards us. My nameless friend tries to talk to her but it scares her very much. I calm her down my bowing and offering her a drink of my coke. She accepts and my friend asks her for directions. After thanking her several times we finally find the funeral home.

We find ourselves in front of the building across from a low down dirty looking bar. We try to enter the building but it is locked. My friend to force the door open but it will not give. He says to me, `Wait. We will get in this fucking place.` He makes four phones calls. No one answers. He becomes a little pissed and considers calling the whole thing off and going to the bar across the street. Before he totally gives up he makes one more phone call and talks to someone. After the short conversation he turns to me and says, `We good now. Office man come.` After a few minutes this old man opens up the door and starts talking shit to my friend. They have a short heated conversation before we are allowed inside. As we stand in an elevator my friend says to me, `No problem. Fucking mean old man.` The strangest had only just begun.

When we arrive on the second floor I am told to wait. At this point I become a little worried. I hate funerals. Even worse I don`t even know the person who died and have no connection to the family other than my drunk nameless friend. My friend goes down to the end of the hall and enters into a room. I am left alone with the mean ass old man staring at me like I am the devil. He looks at me like me wants to kill me. A sudden feeling raises up in me to haul ass and get the fuck out of there; but I stay put just to see what is going to happen. Eventually the old man smiles at me and invites me to enter a large room which is set up to look like a some kind of shrine. There it is! A dead body in a wooden box!

There is a table with candles and a good smelling sticks for lighting. The old man lights one of the candles and points to the sticks and motions for me to light one using the candle. I have no idea what I have just gotten myself into. In the spirit of going with the flow I light a stick and place it up right in a holding tray. At this point I assume that I am to pray or something. I do not know how to pray for a dead body in Japan so I fake it. I put my hands together and bow for a few minutes. That must worked because the old man seemed to be pleased with me. I stay at the table for a little bit to check out the morbid scene in front of me. In front of the table there are lots of flowers of various colors and types. The flowers are very pretty. Most of the flowers are purple and white but a few are red and yellow. What I noticed to be very odd was the offering of food. There are reef with many different kinds of strange little packs of food attached. I guess the Japanese figure that the dead might want a little snack in the after life. The guy in the box looked very peaceful for a dead guy. The photo in the center of all the flowers was of him with his beloved flute. If he liked to play the flute then he must have been an ok person.

Suddenly my nameless friend returned and takes moment to pray. After he is finished he motions for me to follow him. He says, `Come. Free Drink.` I follow him to the end of the hall and into the room he want into earlier. I am greeted by a host of smiling Japanese faces. They seem just a little surprised to see me but they are happy with my company all the same. I really did not know how to react. I felt like a fish out of water. I greet everyone and take a seat on the floor. I do not know any of these people and do not know me. I very position to me indeed. I am attending the funeral of a man I do not know and having drinks with a family I have never met.

They must have noticed that I felt really out of place because they start feeding me drinks. Within two hours I have drank at least 12 beers and attempted to explain a little about myself several times. Oddly enough these people take a special interest in me. They enjoy my company and thank me for coming to pay respect to the dead guy in the other room. Before I left all of us went into the room with the dead guy. They showed me how to pray for the dead. We all put our hands in the praying position bow and chant some words which proved very hard for me to repeat. I did this the best I could.

This had to be one of the strangest night I have never experienced in Tokyo. I seem to run into things like this all the time in Adachi-ku(the section of Tokyo I live in). I never expected in a million years to be running around with a friend with no name getting drunk at a funeral. Gaijin life in Tokyo is one hell of a trip sometimes.