Who Kicked Your Ass Buddy?

The amount of crazy shit I see in Tokyo daily is enough to fill several volumes of an epic novel. I don`t even write about half of the things I either get into directly or simply witness. Tokyo is a much rougher city than most folks will ever admit. Case in point is the gentlemen in the photo to your left.

I don`t know who did it but someone fucked this guy up. I was on my way home when I first spotted him. I had made it to Nishi-Nippori station and was waiting to transfer on the Chiyoda line. He was trying to stand up but it appeared to be a loosing battle. He was close enough to me that I was able to get a smell of him. The bastard smelled like cheap beer and blood mixed with cheese feet. Mother fucker had gotten into some really bad shit for sure. The train finally arrived a few minutes later and he disappeared into the mass hoard of sorry fucks crowding the train. I thought I would never see him again; boy was I wrong.

The Chiyoda line from Nishi-Nippori to Kita-Senju was more packed than usual. I was sure this dude most likely scared the shit out of enough weak ass J-gals and was carried away by station staff at Machiya station.Damn if I was wrong! The bastard managed to survive all the way to Kita-Senju. It was at Kita-Senju station that some of this guys story finally came out in the wash.

You can figure that I was really fucking surprised to see this beat up fucker at Kita-Senju. Right there at the TX platform he was still struggling to stand up on his own. This time he was attempting to talk on his phone. My Japanese is still limited, but damn better than it used to be, so I was only able to make out some of what he was attempting to say. It sounded like he was talking to his wife. I was able to clearly make out the following, `Sorry. I got into a fight at a hostess bar. I am bleeding.` At that point I said to myself, `Fuck this asshole!` I don`t have a lot of respect for fellas who go to hostess bars all the damn time. I understand that most of these guys are going because something is missing at home. They need a women who can make them feel like a man; at least for a little while. I get that...really I do. Yet, it would be better to work on things at home rather than give up and run to some young greedy bitch you will suck all the money they can out of some lonely guy looking for a little respect and attention.

Any god damn way, when the local train finally decided to show its slow ass, the idea popped into my head to get a picture of this sorry fucker.

My feelings about this truly sad mixed up fella is complex. On one hand my heart goes out to him. He most likely had a fucked up day at work and his wife is probably a cold blooded bitch. He went to some low down hostess bar to have some young fine ass gal cheer him up. Sadly, while at the hostess bar he must have had one too many drinks, got too friendly with one of the gals, and some Yakuza bouncier beat his face in proper. On the other hand...Fuck him! His wife will forgive him and their relationship will keep on being a joke. His company is paying for his national health insurance so he will not pay a fucking dime to have his face fixed up. 99% percent of foreign English teachers get no support from their companies to help them pay that fucking over priced nation health insurance tax. If I pulled the same shit he did my wife would divorce me and I would get stiffed with trying to pay to have my face fixed up; even after the so-called discount I get from the national health insurance tax.

*So, I am wondering what kind of stuff yall want to see me write more about in the next few posts: Teaching(all aspects of it), thoughts of the state of Japan, J-blogging community, the inner workings of my mind, or the chaos that is Tokyo.  Please don`t request any lame ass `wow Japan` stuff. I gave up writing about such things a long time ago. 

Ryan Vs. The Japanese Health Care System

By now all of yall know I really don`t like socialized health care. I have experienced it first hand and while there are some advantages, the negatives make it an overall raw deal. None the less, this is what I have to deal with in order to live in Japan. I pay for the National Heath Care insurance every month like a good little slave. Considering that I am paying for it as I might as well get something out of it from time to time. Well, my dearest wife has been nagging me to get a `health check` for about two months with the wonderful reason of, `You are 30 now so there is risk you might get sick and die.` While I really doubt my days are numbered at 30 the gal sees things very differently. To make her happy, and shut her up about it, I scheduled myself a trip to the hospital for a `health check.`

As you might have guessed, a `health check` in Japan is a bit different from what you would expect in the states. First of all, I had to go to a annex of the main hospital. That was a little odd but no biggie. When I finally got to the section I needed I felt like I had just walked into a mad house. There were gals in cute uniforms running around leading people to a variety of rooms for all the different tests to be carried out. There were people(mostly old as dirt) sitting in the waiting area looking at each other with uncomfortable expressions. The admins at the front desk were cold and all business. I thought about doing something funny in an attempt to get a smile out of them but they would most likely had none of it. They simply checked my paperwork, informed me of the price(26,000 yen! So much for socialized care), gave me a key to a locker so I could change, and told me to wait. Oddly enough the motherfuckers charged me for the damn medical outfit I had to change into for the `health check.` From the get go I felt like I was getting scammed!

After about 20 min. my name was called, correctly oddly, and the gauntlet began. Apparently, Japan must have a lack of general practice doctors because every section of the test required a different doctor. I personally thought it was a huge waste of money to have that many doctors to perform a simple health check. I must have got poked and prodded by at least 12 different so-called `specialist.` Socialized health care must be sucking the Japanese government dry. A general practice doctor could have almost done everything it took 12 doctors to do. Hell, it took three people to just take a blood sample, check my height and ask me a few basic lifestyle questions! The amount of people getting in on taking the Japanese government for a ride is amazing sometimes.

I would have not minded the scam happening right before my eyes so much if they had not been so damn out in the open about it. The whole ordeal went down along one long ass hallway with rows of small rooms on each side. In each room one small part of the `health check` was completed. In between checks you were ordered to set down on a kind of comfortable green sofa. Every Japanese I sat down next to stared at me harder than usual. It may have been the first time any of them saw a gaijin getting a health check. Such a fact would not be surprising considering most of the big employers of westerners do not offer a health care plan. The national coverage is a bit out of price range for your average gaijin to afford. It would have been nice to have a buddy with me because it was super awkward having a gang of old people wearing ugly green hospital gear staring at me with odd expressions glued on their faces.

To be fair, one of the bright moments was being lead to the next room by a cute early 20 something gal wearing a cute checked outfit. They had entire team of these gals assisting every single person to their next room. it was surreal to say the least. It was like being on some Japanese game show from hell, `Okay folks! Our next lucky player will take the liquid metal in your stomach/fun with X-rays challenge!`

Seriously, I am not joking about liquid metal being involved in the whole ordeal! At one point in the `health check` I went into a X-ray room. I have gotten plenty of X-rays in my life but nothing prepared me for a Japanese style X-ray. When I went into the X-ray room I was greeted by the muscular looking man holding a cup of scary looking thick liquid. He smiled and said to me. `Please drink this whole cup of Barium so I can check your stomach and intestines` My first reaction was of course, `What the fuck! I am not drinking that! We use Barium for rat poison in the states!` He did not care that Barium is rat poison and I ended up having to drink a whole cup of that shit!` After I forced myself to drink it he made me hold onto a rotating bed while he got a few live shots of my guts. I felt like pure shit the rest of the day. Matters were made worse by the fact that he also instructed to me take two very strong laxatives to get the Barium out of my system. I thought I would be strong and not shit my pants before making it home. Well, these were pretty strong laxatives and I only made it three stations before the shit in my ass could not wait any longer. I rushed off the train at Akiba station and right into a bathroom at the platform. I suffered though 40 minutes of explosive diarrhea before I was able to walk again.

After finally being able to transfer from JR to TX I must have been the most happy person you could ever see on a damn Tokyo train. It just felt good knowing that I would soon be safe in my home. I am sure that some of the folks on the train noticed that I had just survived a rough morning. It was kind of written all over my face. I remember sitting there thinking that I left the hospital feeling worse than when I arrived. A `health check` has got to be one of the strangest experiences I have had in Japan so far.

I really cannot blame the Japanese for this wasteful and inefficient system. The government and greedy health care industry must take the lion share of the blame for a such a money sucking system. Yeah, I got a pretty full on `health check` but at the same time I was over charged and way too many doctors poked and prodded me. It will be a long ass time before I do that again!        

The `No Pain Doctor` Yanked A Tooth Out Of Me

So, my good friend the `no pain doctor` yanked a tooth out my head today. He has been doing `a lot of work` on my teeth as of late. He actually worked on one tooth for an entire month! Well, today he pulled one of my wisdom teeth which had been cutting into the tooth beside it. He knew it had to be done, and today he finally did the dirty deed.

I have to admit I was not exactly looking forward to having a tooth pulled. Having one less tooth in my head kind of freaks me out. Teeth are not something I can grow back. I only get one set of teeth for my entire life. So you can understand why I felt just a little uneasy as I he reached into my mouth and started his work. To his credit, the good doctor was very concerned about my level comfort. He kept saying to me, `If you feel any pain please do not hesitate to express the pain.` Well I expressed the pain alright. He ended up numbing my mouth pretty good. I think the nurse got a kick out of me requesting more and more novacaine.

Actually, I was surprised by the care that everyone involved took in pulling the tooth. I got great after service. Instead of the `English speaking doctor` another doctor explain to me the meds and after care. She was a nice lady who spoke damn good English. For once I actually felt like they gave a flying fuck about me.

Anyway, I got one less tooth in my head. Although, the epic is not over yet. He still has plenty of work(money) to do(make) before he is finished with me.

Don`t worry I am getting good and drunk this evening. I think I deserve it. He told me not to drink but fuck him. The bastard pulled a tooth out of me. I went down to the local supermarket with the gal and bought a six back of cheap ass beer to ease the pain. I am also popping a few of those pain killers the doc gave me as well. Pain killers and beer are usually a good combo as long as I do not over do it. Like my grandma always said, `you can take the boy out of the country but you cannot take the country out of the boy.`

The `No Pain Doctor` with Social Health Care

The picture I uploaded to this blog post is the actual social health care plan that Obama is trying to force feed to the American people. Pretty confusing; right? I can only guess as to how much it is going to cost tax payers. I can imagine that Japan`s social health plan is just as big and more than likely cost twice as much as Obama`s plan. None the less, my crazy ass pays into Japan`s social health care plan. I do not do this willing mind you. It is one of those carrot on a stick situations. Either I pay into the social health care so I can get a permanent visa down the road, or not pay it and let the Japanese government give me a hard time later. Well, I have pretty much made Japan my home so here I am paying into this damn social health care crap.

After paying into the system for some time now, I have finally been taking advantage of other people`s money. Over the past month I have been making regular visits to the `no pain` doctor. He is a dentist who promises effective pain free treatment. So far he has lived up to the `no pain` part. Yet I am wondering why every time I go he does very little work in my teeth. It has taken him a month to complete a root canal on one tooth. I am starting to wonder if he is taking advantage of the system. I mean, if I was paying out of pocket I am sure he would not be taking this long. I have had a root canal before and it took only one day to complete. It was much more painful but completed much faster. Due to the social health care system, I have lost the ability to complain about the length of time he is taking to complete work on one tooth. So, I cannot complain much because my in-person out of pocket cost is very low. In the mean time, he is making a killing on the tax payers dime taking his slow ass time to get anything done.

After every treatment he shows me what he did; which is not much. He works on only one small part of the root canal at a time. Why can`t he get the whole damn thing finished in one treatment? Well, I know why. It is trying to make as much money as he can. I guess I will just put up this his little money making game. He is the only Japanese dentist I know who can speak English well enough to communicate with me.

Japan`s Pinko Government forces me to allow it to steal from me.

Before I sat down to write this I needed a few days to calm myself as to not go off on a rant filled with profanity. My experiences with government have very few times been a pleasant one. As I have learned only a true fool trust any government to actually help them to take care of them in way shape or form. For example, if you want yet another reason to get angry with the US government just go to the US Embassy in Tokyo to try and take care of any kind of personal business; after leaving you will want to punch someone. With all of that said the government of Japan has a system set up in which I am forced to allow them to steal from me. I did not know how much this system really angers me until this Friday when I went to the central government building in Adachi-ku to sign up to be robbed.

I wake up early on Friday and my wife takes me to the government in Adachi-ku in order to sign up for my government pension and government issued health insurance. I found the idea of this very odd because in America the only people who really depend or sign up for these kind of things are those who are too poor to pay for insurance or those who have spent a life time making really bad money decisions and look to the government to take care of them. In Japan if I do not sign up for a government pension and government health insurance I can be fined, jailed, and even deported! When it was first told to me that I have to allow the government of Japan to reach into my pockets and take money from me order to `help take care of me` I was shocked.

It is an insult to me that the government forces me to be apart of such a program. It is like saying to me that I am too stupid to plan for my future so the government has to do it for me. I know for a fact that I can make more money for my retirement then the government can. I can take the same money which they are stealing from my pockets and invest it and make a killing all the way to the bank and have a huge stash of cash to live on when I retire. Instead, according to the Japanese government, I am too stupid to be able to invest my money wisely so they are going to steal from me and get up a pension fund for me which I will have no access to see how my money is bring invested. Truth be told, the money they steal from me is going into the pockets of someone else. My government issued pension is not a single account but a collective account in which I end up paying for other people`s retirement. I am in effect taking care of someone who I have never met and have no connection to what so ever. When I retire in Japan, which I will because I am married to a Japanese gal and Tokyo will be our lifelong home, I have have to depend on the then current working generation of people to pay for my retirement pension. It is never wise to depend on other people, who are total strangers, for your future. This system is doomed to failure. This pinko commie social program depends on assuming that there will always be enough people paying into the system. If the unemployment rate gets too high then the collective account will go into default and the entire system will fail; leaving thousands of retired people who little or no money to survive.

Not to fear the government of Japan has a fix for the huge fault in this system. The law states that if you are alive, able, and of working age you still are required to pay the pension tax even if you do not have a job. If you do not pay the pension tax they can throw you in jail and you worked off your debt to the government by doing unskilled hard labor. So, I currently owe the government of Japan six months in unpaid back taxes into the pension program. I have until the end of the year to pay for back tax, in one lump sum, or a very high fine could be imposed on me or worse I can be jailed. I start my first job in Japan Monday so the regular pension tax is still required to be paid by me at the same time as the back tax looms over my head. Lucky for me I have enough money in reserve to pay the back tax with no problems. This does not change the fact that the government of Japan is stealing from me to provide for some other person`s sorry butt!

The government health insurance is also theft but in a much larger scale. It is a fact that socialize health care does create fascism. All the companies which provide medical supplies and health equipment have guaranteed profits because there is no open market in which they have to compete. They can rise prices as high as they want while the government raises the health insurance tax and the health companies rake in all the profits. This is pure fascism. It is government and private business working together for shared benefit.

The odd thing about Japan`s socialized health insurance is that people who are healthy and almost never go to the hospital are really getting robbed. Again you end up paying for some other person`s health care needs. A person who you do not know and have no connection to what so ever. Even worse is that a person cannot buy over the counter meds unless they go to a special government regulated business which will sell you over the counter meds at a very high price. There are only a few companies which, approved by the government, that sell the basic over the counter meds and their stories close very early in the evening. So, if it is 11 pm at night and you have a pounding headache and have to headache pills you have to go to the hospital or else suffer until the morning. How the whole system makes any sense is a mystery to me.

Being that I do not want to go to jail I signed up for this pinko system. Don`t worry I treated the people at the government office like a bunch of thieves holding me a knife point. I showed them no respect and made them explain to me, in English, every part of the process and exactly how the system works. I know that may have been very rude and childish of me but the more time I spent getting signed up the more angry I got. So, now the government is `helping` me like a old trusted friend. Dammit!

I will make sure that in the rare case that I actually have to go to the hospital I will give every person working at the hospital pure hell and be the worse patient they have ever had. I know that will not be very adult of me but hell I at least should get my money worth.