Friday, December 26, 2008
As 2008 winds down I must admit I am feeling kind of drained and worn down. It has been one of hell of a year for me. This year I have made a big change in my life. Getting married, moving to Tokyo, adjusting to a totality different culture, dealing with a insane job market has got my head kind of twisted up like a Tornado a little.
Pulling off this 180 has not been easy but I think I have fared good so far. Unlike a lot of people who move to the land of the raising sun, I came here simply because I was madly in love and totally sick of the events unfolding in my home nation. I traded the stress of being love sick and angry as hell with my government for the stress of city life and culture shock. I don`t know how much of an even trade it was but I am learning to expect the unexpected. 2008 has taken me to places I could have never imagined for my life. I started the year living in a socially and economically depressed part of America and ended the year living in the jewel city of Asia. If anyone would have told me such events would have unfolded in my life in 2008 I would called them crazy. Yet, here I am living in Tokyo feeling like I have been spinning around inside of a tornado for 12 months.
I have learned a lot about myself while going though, at times, emotionally painful process of adjusting to married life and culture shock at once. The biggest thing I have learned is that I have to maintain a certain amount of balance in my life or else things can get out of control real quick. Before moving to Tokyo I was the kind of person who would follow the god chaos to hell and back instead of resisting the urge to fuck-up everything around me. It was rare for me to stop and check myself. I lived a hardcore balls to wall existence which would drive most people straight to the nut house. Hell, back in the states some of my closest friends would question my own sanity from time to time. These days there is a hell of a lot more responsibility resting on my shoulders. I can`t always say fuck it and rock out with my cock out anymore. While I still have a damn good time I put much more effort in placing limits on myself. This is not to say that there are not times when I do let situations fall into a state of chaos just for the pure devilish pleasure of it. The difference now is that those moments of hellish glory are spaced out enough to keep my life in balance.
So, in short this year I have grown up a lot. The game totally changes when marriage factors into things. While, being married and living in one of the biggest cities in the world has worn me out a little overall it has been a great year. I have changed over the course of this year. Hell, my entire lifestyle has changed a lot over the past year. Actually, I have welcomed this 180 twist in my life. Mellowing out is not so bad.