Thursday, October 4, 2012

NICE: That Damn HillBilly

At first it appeared this would be an easy case. From the moment he was born the job was already half finished. Really, how hard is it to break a dirt poor hillybilly born to a coal miner father and a simple yet loving mother? It is the classic case of `give him enough rope and wait.` Logic would dictate that such a low working class dirtball would take himself out for us. All of them find someway to totally screw up any chance of avoiding being put into their proper place. That is just how his kind are; you know? They are born that way. They are well adjusted to be the shit on the boot of society. All that is needed is to give them some manual labor job, cheap beer, drugs and all the low level vice they can handle and just wait for them to flush themselves down the toilet.

But sometimes that does not work. Sometimes, only a few of them mind you, wise up to their given class status and desire a little more out of life. For those types we go ahead and put them though the system and see how long it takes for them to either give up or totally implode. Usually it takes a couple of years before the desired result is achieved. By that time, they have already developed some behavior habits which will bring about their down fall in short order. Be it women, drugs, mental disorder or anger issues...something will break them.

Yet, sometimes they survive the first round of University study, debt, social integration and dealing with the stress of being placed in an environment with people not of their class. These are the stubborn ones who actually think they are going to make something of themselves. So at that point, it becomes proper to play hardball and take off the kid cloves. He wants to run with the big dogs then so be it. Lay it on him thick without the usual learning curve afforded to those of proper class and birth right. Little dirty redneck thinks he is going to show us up? Damn him and damn anyone who helps him. That bastard of society was not supposed to make it this far. The worst part is that he decided to bit the hand that feeds him.  How dare he demand we show him respect and hand over even a pinch of the power we are entitled to according to our class. If it was not for our mercy he would be on the street selling drugs and being a leach on society.

What do we do with this little man of low class and no honor?

He could kill him. No...that would be too troublesome and require too much effort. He could just take everything away from him which he told near and dear to his heart. No...he might react in a totally insane manner and cause enough damage to have a long lasting effect. We have already made the mistake of educating him on the ways and means of the system. He knows how to create a lot of chaos; the kind of chaos we would rather avoid. Despite the fact that we cannot kill him nor take away what is dear to him, we cannot continue to allow him to freely do as he pleases. That situation is simply not acceptable. He is like a little virus which will just not go off some place and die peacefully. An infection, while not life threatening, still poses a constant threat of costing some of us a few fingers and toes. Yes! Something must be done.

Considering the usual means of dealing with such a man are not practical nor fitting, a little keenness is needed. Remember, he is in the system. A system we created and maintain. It may be best to keep him in the system. Everything is so well structured and in control that a little dirty virus or slight infection is not enough to bring down the entire house of cards. Ah! I got it! Let`s ignore him! Yes! We just not draw attention to him. Do not let others know about him. Let him create all the chaos he wants. It does not matter because he is, after all, one man. Just one little man from low class with no hope of ever reaching the level of inspiring the masses.

He is just one man...right? 

Friday, September 7, 2012

What is the Big Difference Between You and Me Japan?

Howdy yall! You know, after going though the honeymoon, the frustration, the rage, the quake, and breakdown and the fuck it phase of living in Japan, what comes next? It hard to give Japan pure hell or totally love this island I call home. It is an odd situation to live in Japan on a long term basis.

 I have not returned to America in years. I often ask myself why. I have been unable to come up with an answer. I just keep staying here year after year hacking out a life for myself. I do not see, or consider, the end goal of living in Japan. I came here several years ago and I have just stayed. It appears more and more clear to me that Japan is becoming home. I have said it before but recently it has hit me harder than usual. I really have no plans to transplant to another country; not even the one I was born in.

Yet, no matter how long I live here it appears I will be viewed as odd or not totally fit to fit in Japanese society. I am viewed as something different which is not be to melted into society. It is fucked up and I often wonder what the hell is Japan`s big problem with the non-native born.

I often look at modern history(A.K.A post empire Japan) to explain this very unusual habit of many people in Japan to view me as forever the outsider. The people are Japan are really proud of their island nation. They have been though a lot to reach the point they are now. After the war, Japanese became a hardcore exploited people. Everyone lined up to ram their dick right in Japan`s asshole as deep as possible. The people of Japan had little choice but to bend over and take it. While I can understand that some of it has been well justified considering that Japan was once hell bent on taking over Asia and the world if they could have pulled it off, a lot of it was just good old capitalist opportunism. It takes one hell of a greedy vile bastard to strong arm a nation, which had two nuke bombs dropped it, to accept the building of nuclear power plants on it`s soil. America set up a very enlightened government structure and a constitution and handed it over to pretty much the same vile piles of shit who were in control of the country before. The US plants it military on Japanese soil in the form of military bases by bribing the political leaders and ever asking the actual people of Japan if they are okay with it. Then there is the massive amount of foreigners who come to this nation and act like total jackasses displaying a complete disregard for the entire culture and the people. With such realization of just some of the things the common person in Japan has put up with over the years, no wonder many of them keep foreigners at kicking distance.

But after dealing with this daily year after year, it gets to the point in which you want to scream at people saying `What is fuck is yalls god damn problem?! Do I have to start from square one with everyone of you every fucking time?! Get over the fact that I don`t look like you and I was not born here! Fuck!`

Trust me...I have had some epic rants on this issue before here on this blog.

My point here that there is a difference of culture between the native land I was born in and the place I now seemingly call home. Yet, there comes a point in which there needs to be an understanding that not every foreigner is someone to be mistrusted and assumed to be at high risk to exploit everyone and everything around them. It is time for this default setting to be changed in Japan.

Yes, it is true that there are a lot of fat ass, loud mouth, self-righteous fucks in the western world. Although, that does not mean people from the west should be put into a box and assumed to be that way until proven otherwise.

Westerners and Japanese are very different on several keys points but we all are human. It is time to realize the fact of our shared humanity and celebrate the differences while promoting the similarities.    

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Americans Starting to Finally Crack Up. Summers Shootings Sign of a Weak Society

Howdy Yall! You know, from time to time I think it is important that I write about the old country. That place on the other side of the planet called The United States of America. This summer has been a little rough on my fellow countrymen. They have been dealing with a harsh heatwave; which I am sure has made some of them regret all those donuts they ate. Also, there has been several dark and twisted shootings this summer which have shocked the American society and been the endless topic of discussion on countless on-line forums. Most of the discussions have been focused on the old pro/anti gun debate. That debate, in my opinion, is like beating on a dead horse. I will not get into that here in my blog. Don`t ask me to do it either. My take of these recent shootings is a bit different and often refused to be talked about.

Random violence carried about by unhinged people is a sign of a weak society, a break down of social duty and communities based on social status rather than human bonds.

That`s right America! You have allowed yourself to become a society of greedy, self absorbed, weak little piggies who have little or no concern for your own surroundings. Ask most Americans what their neighbor does to make money and most likely they cannot tell you. Hell, ask them what their neighbor`s name is and what their hobbies are and you will get the same answer. It appears painfully clear that human bonds are at an all time low in America. People simply don`t give a fuck about each other anymore. This is exactly why nut jobs are able to fester in a local community until one day they snap and kill a boat load of people. No one gives a damn what crazy Charlie across the street is thinking and doing everyday until he starts shooting people. Then you want to lock him up in jail and forget about him. Everyone will put all the blame on Charlie without giving a second thought about societies failure to keep an eye on him. It is true that before someone goes on a killing spree there are plenty of signs that they are planning to do it. For example: If you see your neighbor hanging out with Neo-Nazi, talking to himself or doing odd things at all times of the day or night you might want to keep an eye on them or try to talk to them. You might prevent something dark and twisted from happening.

Yet, few people will do anything until it is too late. After a shooting rampage people always say things like, `I knew he was crazy` or `I knew he was up to something.` Well, if you knew something was up why did you sit back and not try to find out if your neighbor was getting ready to go off? Were you lazy, shy, scared or just so self-absorbed that you thought it was not your problem? Well, when you family and friends are dead on the street it is your problem.

You see how that works?

If you want to have a safe community, then you have to be part of creating a strong community. There is no logic to be found in simply saying it is not your problem until something happens. As long as society is self absorbed and weak, you will have a high number of twisted people just waiting for the day to go off and kill innocents.

Something to think about.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

`You Will Never Be One of Us` A Japanese Native Finally Admits It. The Merger of Nationalism and Race in Japan.

Howdy! I have not touched on this topic in a while because there are bigger things going on here on the island. Yet I`ll be damned if someone does not say something which forces it back on topic. If you have lived in Japan long enough, you will notice something about native Japanese. Many, but not all, feel they are special simply because they are Japanese. They do not feel they are special because they have a unique personality, are highly educated, have gain a certain level of success in life or anything like that at all. They feel they are special because they were born Japanese and the rest of the world was not. This type of mindset can also be found in the United States; yet it is a little different. In the states this type of nationalism is not so connected to race and ethnic background as it is in Japan. You will find many Americans who feel that simply because they were born in the United States of America they are special and just a little better than people from other nations. 

Let me make it very clear that nationalism is not a bad thing. Nationalism, when it comes organically(often referred to as patriotism) from the people, is an attempt by the people to protect their own nation is ensure their own collective survival. Although, when nationalism is promoted by `the state` it often produces hatred and elitism among the population toward those who are not a citizen of said nation. As we all know, a nation fully ran and controlled by the people is hard to create and even harder to maintain. While Americans have gone to great lengths to smash racism from their nation and now struggle to take back their own government, many people in Japan refuse to deal with racism and have never really had full control over their government. Such differences is exactly why the opinion which the person in the video below expresses is common in Japan.

As you watched in the video, he clearly says `You will never be Japanese.` His reasoning for this is not shocking for me due to the strong sense of tribalism in Japan which can be a pure bitch to deal with at times. Now, to give this person credit, he is trying to be polite. He does try to hide his own racism by mixing it with nationalism. He takes the position that because he was born in Japan(nationalism) and has Japanese blood(racism) that he is Japanese and someone who was not born in Japan and does not have Japanese blood can never be Japanese. Even if you master the language, pay taxes, maintain a job be a part of society and gain citizenship you can never be Japanese according to this person`s mindset. Of course, such a mindset is very silly when you consider the nature of human society. Human society has no choice but to change and evolve over time. For any human society to survive it must become more diverse and have fresh ideas injected into it. Japan is a society which is thousands of years old. It has been evolving for a long time into what we see today. Does anyone really think that Japan has survived this long without immigration? Koreans and Chinese have been immigrating to Japan for almost as long as there has been a Japan.  I know from my own experience that the average person in Japan feels a hard sting when ever you mention Korean or Chinese immigration. They hate to admit that Koreans and Chinese people have been influencing Japanese society for a very long time.  Bring up how they have treated Koreans and Chinese over the years and they feel the sting even deeper.

It seems to be that many people in Japan want to feel special simply because they have so-called Japanese blood and are born in Japan. Well, if they are so special then why has Japanese society depended on immigration so much over the years to inject fresh ideas into the society, increase the overall population, create a larger labor force and even provide for a larger military? It seems to be that this idea that native born Japanese are somehow special and unique started during the empire days of Japanese history. It was during the days of empire that Japanese society started to regard themselves as being better than other Asians and felt that it was their right to have dominance over them. Even today Japanese history refers to WW2 as `The War of Asian Liberation` as to somehow suggest that it was Japan which was protecting the `lower` Asians from the evil westerners. When in fact it was the Japanese empire which was exploiting other Asian cultures and using force to gain the advantages of mingling with other cultures.

In my opinion, post WW2 Japan only made the situation worse. For the first time, being exploited was on the other shoe for Japan; and it keeps going on even to this day. After being exploited by westerners powers for about 64 years the idea that Japanese are special are unique seems to be a way native born Japanese blind themselves to their own exploitation.  You know, `We are special so we get special treatment from America. We are not being exploited.` Many westerners come to Japan and exploit the hell out of this island. In order to deal with that it seens to me many Japanese say that, `We are special and unique which is why so many gaijin want to come and live here.` In reality, many westerners come to Japan because they can make a decent amount of money, behave with total disregard for what is happening around them, not have to get involved in any aspect of Japanese society and cherry pick the parts of Japan they like and create their own image of Japan to brag to their friends about. So, you can see how a lot of Japanese would create an elitist attitude about being native born in Japan even if it carries no real weight in the big picture. Their racism does them no favors but to give them piece of mind that they are `special.`

It would make far better sense, at least to me, to give up on nationalist racism and focus more on trying to find allies who understand their situation and frustration over what Japan has become. Maybe then they could start to break the chains which the post-war era and modern globalism agenda has placed on their society. Yet, to simply think that `We are Japanese and we are special` without the ass to cash the checks their mouths are writing, will put them in an even deeper hole than they already are.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Redneck Knows Whats up! Asshole!

Howdy! It is me again. Everyone`s favorite gaijin rebel. Once again I take to writing on this little blog of mine to express things which are often not expressed when it comes to the topic of Japan. I know, some of you really fucking hate me. Some people out there even think that I am a dumb ass hillybilly without a clue. I am okay with such thinking these days because I am much stronger then when I first started writing this blog. For example, take a look at that picture there. Yeah, that is me. I must have been about 24 in this picture. It was taken in Vegas of all places. I was trying to look good for the lady. She was special to me, and still is, a big part of my life. In those days I was a rebel with no direction nor purpose. I hated the way things were but had no clear idea as to how to change things. All I knew was that I did not like the ways things were. I could feel it in my heart but had no way to clearly express the major problems I saw daily. So...what did I do? Well, I rebelled in every way I could.

I hated the massive amount of racism which surrounded me. So, I decided to refuse to date white women as a rejection of the thinking that white women were better than non-white gals. In fact, my best emotional and sexual experiences have been with non-white women. Taste the world boys, and you will never go back to white gals. I hated how everyone focused on money all the time. So, I started to barter with my friends and avoid exchanging money as much as I could. I offered `other` services in exchange for a bit of `the good life.` The power of the cult of personality became very clear to me at a very early age. If people `like you` you would be surprised what they will do for you in exchange for your time or company. If you can make people feel good either with your ideas or charm, they will give you all the `gold` you could ever want. It still amazes me how I can get people to do things for me just because they `like me.` Yet, all is not perfect in Never Never Land.

Something happened which I did not expect....I got older and my mind aged with my body.

Wisdom is a gift and a curse. I am sure it happened as I left my 20`s. I had spend the majority of my 20`s rebelling against the things I did not like at random. I had no clear plan nor direction. I reacted very naturally without fear of punishment or social backlash. In my late 20`s I got my first taste of hardcore establishment at the highest levels. Think about it, rebellious guy in his late 20`s given total control of an entire area of a company. I was given free reign to do as I wished as long as nothing went wrong. I thought I had achieved exactly what I wanted; having the power to change things from the inside out. Damn...was I wrong.

It did not take long for me to see that something was not as it seemed. I was told to do as I see fit but I also noticed that I got blamed for many things which I had nothing to do with. At first, I brushed it off as assholes being assholes...but that was my biggest mistake. You see, in the corporate world assholes run the show. There are no good people in management so you can get a good picture as to my situation. Shit really does flow in one direction...straight fucking down hill! If one of those assholes could blame me for something, they would do so gladly. So, in my rebellious nature I decided to fight. Little did I know that assholes always play dirty. I underestimated the slimy level assholes will go in order to save their own ass. I was shocked and beside myself by what I witnessed go down. They tried to set everyone up. It made me sick to my stomach and gave me nightmares for months! Yet, I survived it all and came out of it pretty clean. I did lose my so-called title but I did not care about that so much in the first place. I will never forget that experience for as long as I live because it was a turning point on my life. I finally realized what the problem was...greed hate and ego.

It all really comes down to these things; greed, hate and ego.

When I was a little bit younger, I did not realize the driving forces I was playing on to get the things I wanted. Now, I am fully aware, at the age of 32, exactly what drives men and women of power. Give them a chance to make more money; they will love you. Give them a change to take revenge on those they see as a threat; they will love you. Give them a regular boost to their ego; they will consider you as a half god. Yet, the moment you challenge the establishment or do something which puts their power in question, they will come at you with all the rage of hell. It is still shocking for me to see someone change so quickly in regards to their attitude towards me. I have seen men and women go from worshiping the ground I walk on to cursing the same ground to the fires of hell. If I do not make them money, help them destroy others or feed their ego, I must be against them. This is the mind set we, the common people, are dealing with. And in Tokyo, the seat of the national government, greed hate and ego rules over everything.

If you dig deep enough in this blog, you will read about my struggle to understand the darkness which surrounds me. It is a pretty interesting story to say the least. A mountain boy comes to the big bad city of Tokyo. He is amazed by all that he sees. People seem to `like` him. Then once his natural since of justice is exposed, the darkness comes to destroy him. Yet, the hate greed and ego did not destroy me. I am still here and standing taller than before. These days, I am fully aware of whats up and I do not approve. I could easily run but I don`t like the easy way. I would rather stand and fight. You would be surprised by how many good people there actually are in Tokyo. The problem is that they are scared of what is to come. Japan is damn near on the verge of revolution and many people are scared of such things. They don`t know if they should go for it or sit on the fence and wait it out. That is where my foreignness comes into play. If they see that I can break the so-called rules, speak my mind openly and live a life with meaning, well who knows what might happen. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Until You See It For Yourself....Japanese ARE Trying to have Democracy

Japan has never been an easy place to understand. That may be a major understatement, but it is important to remind ourselves of that fact from time to time. If you have not noticed, Japan is unique even in Asia. Attempts at democracy are not the norm in Asia. Most of Asia has been, and still is, under the control of some form of directorship or fascist government often pretending to be socialist or communist. The closest thing to socialism any nation in Asia has would be Vietnam. Yet, even in Vietnam the process has had setbacks. Yet, here in Japan the people have been giving democracy the "old college try" since the post war days.

I know...we see all the massive corruption, lies, gang connections and total disconnect the government of Japan displays on a daily basis and we think to ourselves; "There is no democracy in this nation." That is easy enough to think and say. It is easy to see things that way because most people do not see the people of Japan fight for their rights and stand up for democracy. So many foreigners see the Japanese as meek defeated people who have decided to lay down and take it up the ass from their government. If you see the Japanese in such a manner, then it is very clear that you have not been paying attention.

I often wonder these days what is it everyone expects from the Japanese people on a daily basis. Do people want them to be loud, rude, direct and generally hostile to everyone they meet? I have done plenty of that in my life and I know the results of such a lifestyle. American style of rebellion is not the same as Japanese rebellion. Yes! Japan has a different culture and different history! They don't go about their daily lives in the same manner at people in the west do. Yeah, a lot of them want to scream and shout at all the ugly they see everyday. I am sure under all that sternness and seriousness there is a wild rebel begging to come out. Most Japanese have been brainwashed. You MUST understand that! It took me a long time to understand that fact. Until I did realize there has been some major brainwashing which has went down in this nation, I used to think Japanese are meek people as well.

But...times they are a changing...

An every growing number of Japanese people are getting pissed the fuck off. So angry in fact that can can no longer hold their peace about it. I know this because I have been right there with them. Do you wanna see what I am talking about? Here take a look and tell me what you think.

So that is what I have seen. Yes! I am the one filming and uploading those videos you may or may not have seen before. Times they are a changing in Japan. These people are not meek nor are they defeated. It just took them a long time, and the right major event to happen, to help them to get pissed off enough to take to the street and demand democracy work in their favor.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

An Asshole Ghost in Tokyo

 It was bound to happen sooner or later. Hell, how long can an American live so detached and removed from all the Monday Night Football, Hot Dogs, guns, apple pie, rebellion, lame beer, arrogance, nationalist pride and raw aggression before something starts to change. Yeah, I have been to some pretty twisted places in my mind during my life in Tokyo so far. I started out as a hillbilly who was just happy to not be in the United States to something all together different. My path though Tokyo has led to places in my mind I thought did not exist. I have been damn near all the way to the bottom of hell in ones own mind during my time in this city. I have pretty much seen the beauty and the darkness of Tokyo and it has taken my mind right along for the ride. Yet, I have been able to notice something about me which I did not notice before. I am a bit less American than I once was.

Don't misunderstand me dammit! I am not turning Japanese or any lame crap like that at all. It is more of a change of perspective. If you dig deep enough in this blog of mine, you will find all the little pieces of this journey in all it's silliness, madness and illogical glory. It has took a lot for me to reach the point I am at now. There are post buried deep in this blog in which I go on and on about temples, food and little places I liked. You will also find angry rants on things which drove me mad. There are also a few post in which I express my loneliness while being stuck at a internet cafe for a night(I went though a period of sleeping in internet cafes just to escape from everything). There are drunken rants along with drunken tales. I even got a post or two about having a damn mental break down. I tried to stop smoking a few times, which ended in failure and promises to myself to stop drinking heavily.  I have wrote about teaching English and some of my theories about it. All of those things have led up to the point I am at now.

Not Anti-American; Not Non-American; Not Un-American but....less American.

Asia has changed me. I have learned that the soft American lifestyle, which many Americans still enjoy despite all the unemployment and desperation they are facing, is something truly odd in the world at large. The idea that someone can be without a job for years on end and still have enough to eat and a decent chance at not ending up homeless is very strange concept indeed. It is only in America that someone can be morbidly obese yet still demand and expect it to be, not only acceptable, but discrimination if someone calls them out on it. To call someone a fat ass in America is damn near a sin from what I have learned. In fact, to expect someone to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and at least try in life is also becoming a sin. Now, I understand all about class struggle and how this effects a person's upward mobility. I am not talking about class struggle here. I am talking about the unique American ability to simply declare, "I don't care about anything but my own feelings toward anything. I like living in a bubble because the government, and society, must take care of me no matter what I do." This whole idea of "failure does not matter" and "everyone must accept me no matter what I do to myself" can only be found in such a nation as America. I used to think the exact same way because after all...I am a child of America.

Yet, these days I am less of an American than I used to be.

It is no secret that I grew up pretty damn rough. I know hunger and I know what it is like to fight to survive. But, even in my worst days in America, my life was far easier than the working poor in China or Vietnam or for that matter Japan. When you are poor in most parts of the world, you are really fucking poor. You really don't have shit! At least in America, I did have some food to eat. Bless the goodness of Regan cheese and Regan powdered milk. At least I had people around me who could provide me with some happiness. My parents were damn poor but there were others around who had enough money to give a little taste of what other kids had. I stole things just to take care of myself, but to some poor kid in China, my idea of stealing would make him laugh. Hell, you never see the kids that hang out in Yokohama? They are some rough bastards to say the least. I have seen those little fuckers fight over damn near nothing. Those same kids usually live in an apartment the size of a McDonald's deep freeze; and most likely just as cold in the winter. For fuck's sake, a guy in Vietnam came up to me with no arms asking me if I wanted to buy a book about the Vietnam war! After seeing and experiencing things like that, I have become less American.

Yes! It has become harder for me to accept people who are big as a Hummer screaming about how everyone should cut them a break. I have lost some of my ability to understand someone who leaves a comfortable life, with a decent place to live and a decently stable job yell about "my rights! my rights! Everyone is a fucking racist!" When I hear someone complain about how much society sucks and they hate it all, but do damn little other than bitch and point the finger without working towards making the situation better, are sad in my mind. Those who do little to add or enhance society demanding to be handed to keys to the kingdom all the damn time! What the fuck is wrong with you people? Really!? You want everything society has to offer without getting involved in society. You want to just walk into a perfect situation without having to earn your metal. That type of attitude and behavior has made me less American.

Yet, with all that said, I was not feeling this way them I first came to Japan. Yes, I bitched a lot and failed to understand some of the things which were going on around me.  Yet, the longer I lived in Japan, and traveled around the world a bit more, I started to see that the American way of life truly breeds weakness and arrogance. I feel that at this point the weakness of arrogance has all but been beat out of me. Yes, I am still human and have my moments when I cry, doubt myself and feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Yet, now I have developed a distaste for those who have it all and still complain that they are not shitting pure gold.

Less American? Yes! Un-American? No!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Okay Gaijin. We Need to Talk About the Nuclear Issue and Your Need for Acceptence in Japanese Society.

Okay fellow gaijin....we need to talk. No! I mean really talk. In my last post, I shared a little bit of my take and experience of 'micro-aggression' or racism in Japan. Such social issues are very important and need to be talked about. Racism is ugly no matter what form it takes. Yet, it seems to me that a lot of gaijin are either blind, scared, brainwashed or simply don't give a fuck about the single most important issue facing Japan today. Did you know that nuclear power, and energy policy, is damn near tearing Japan apart? There is a massive battle going on over this issue and it seems very clear to me that most gaijin are choosing to put their head in the sand about this. Y'all are refusing to talk about it, notice it or even admit that it is actually happening. Many of you say you want to be apart of Japanese society and treated as an equal. You say you are being kept on the outer rim of Japanese society. I understand that...really I do. Yet, are you trying to be apart of Japanese society? We talk a lot about "accept me! accept me!" What are you doing to be accepted?

Right now, the people of Japan are fighting for, not only the future of Japan, but the future of the world. What are you doing to help the people in their fight? Are you blogging about what is really going on? Are you making videos covering this massive fight against nuclear power? Have you been to a anti-nuclear protest? Are you standing up for the same people who you demand accept you?

Call me a crazy hillbilly all you want, but I have been doing all of the above things I ask if you have done. I want to be apart of Japanese society as well and I actively involve myself in the society. Yet, what I see a lot of gaijin doing is demanding that Japanese accept them, bitch about other gaijin, refuse to get involved in Japanese society and still behave as if they deserve to be treated as an equal. You will be treated as an equal when you show you deserve it. You have to get involved in what is really doing on. The Japanese people need you now more than ever. Can't all of you see that? What the fuck is wrong with my fellow gaijin? Who is really selling who out? Who is really the racist?

Of course, there will always be a part of Japanese society which hates us. It does not matter what we say to those people; they will find an excuse to hate us. Yes! We should point out and expose such people. Yet, there is something much bigger going on in Japan than your fucking bitching and complaining about how "the Japanese treat me like shit because I am a gaijin." There is a time and place for that. Yeah, I have already shared with all of you my take on experiencing racism in Japan. Now, if you want to be a part of Japanese society, you are going to have to stand by the people and fight with them. The nuclear issue in Japan is not just a Japanese problem, but a human problem which effect us all.

You want to be a part of Japanese society, then fucking act like it and fight for these people who need your love and support now more than ever!

Link to my Youtube channel

Link to The Ghost Letters Report Facebook page

Monday, May 14, 2012

Microaggression In Japan: Jealous and Spiteful Japanese Reactionaries

It is only a problem when we do it; right?
Howdy Y'all! It happened again it seems. Life, and other things, pulled me away from this blog. Yet, everyone's favorite gaijin hillbilly is back again. I have more things I want to talk about with y'all again. More things to share and more ideas to express. Make sure to read this and this before going forward to understand what I am about to bring up.

I hope you are ready

Anyone with a clue, and sadly there are not many, realize there is a major double standard here in Japan when it comes to us gaijin and Japanese folk. Just take a look at the pic to your left. I am sure that while Japanese men can be horny wolves who chase anything with a pussy, when gaijin men do the exact same thing we are the bad guys.  I have seen so many J-dudes treat women like shit yet these same men get pissed off when a gaijin man even raises his voice to a women in public. Truth be known, a lot of J-dudes don't help their lady friend out so much. Of course, I have talked to a hell of a lot of J-dudes during my time in Japan so far. When the topic of 'helping yo lady' comes up there are common responses such as, 'I don't cook, that is women's work, I don't know how to clean my own clothes, that is for women to do, It is better that women never give their opinion, Men make money, women serve men etc...' Yet, you dare let one of us gaijin mutter any negative opinion toward Japanese women and suddenly we are the lowest form of shit in the universe. I do not hold any of the attitudes or opinions about the opposite sex mentioned in the above sentences, but that does not matter to the average Japanese. It seems that because I am gaijin, I must clearly be a rapist and a women beater no matter what the truth may be. After many years of dealing with this double standard, it seems clear to me that the Japanese mindset is such that they can be dirty slime balls as much as they want but gaijin are expected to be the highest form of human perfection. It seems the agenda is to make it so hard to adjust to life in Japan that we will give up and 'go home.'

Although, the method to attempt to force us to 'give up and go home' is a complex one indeed. This is were microaggression comes into play.

I look at microaggression in Japan the same way as a dog and a bowel of food. Y'all ever see a dog guard his bowel of food when he is not really hungry? Y'all know, the little bastard does not want the food but he will be dammed if anyone touches it. Microaggression in Japan is very similar to a dog who wants to keep everyone away from a bowl of food he does not want in the first place. Gaijin are expected to be perfect because, in my mind, they want us to be what they are unable to be. They want to hold us up to a standard which most humans simply cannot live up to everyday. Even if you are somehow able to live up to even a fraction of that fantasy standard, be damned if we turn right around and expect them to live up to the same standard. That is when the mircoaggression starts.

It goes like this: "We Japanese hate ourselves and our nation. We know we are fucked up and treat you gaijin like shit. Yet, we like being fucked up because it gives us an excuse to blame you for not being as fucked up as us. So, we will guard our bowel of food with the up most aggression, not because we actually like the food, but because as long as we are fucked up and expect you to be perfect you can never get one over on us. We really don't want to live this way but it is better for everyone involved. After all, you are a gaijin, and as we all know, you have a natural advantage over us as being able to move in and out of our society as you please. Fuck you gaijin! Fuck you because due to your sense of liberty and equality people like you and don't like us. So, we must force you to be perfect and pure. As long as we can force you to try to be perfect and pure, we can fuck you over and get away with it. Your forced perfection makes it easier for us to fuck you over as we see fit. If you are actually able to live up to the standard we place on you...well this is Japan so we will turn around and expect you to be just as fucked up as us. As soon as you live up to one standard, we will change the rules and expect you to suddenly live up to a totally new standard which we will create out of thin air. Don't like it? You can always go back to the dirty liberal nation from which you came."

That is the core of microaggression in Japan.

I know, it may be hard to believe me. Fair enough. Due to the cute fucking image of Japan that westerns suck up like scarface on a coke binge, the reality of living in Japan...I mean really living in Japan, is often covered up by images of Shibuya hoes, High school Harajuku shallowness and old beat up temples. That is only the surface of Japan and not the real deal. So, what is it like to deal with mircoaggression? Please allow me to explain.

It usually starts with a look. They look at you with this kind of asshole smile usually followed by some under the belt shot at you verbally. I have pretty much heard it all,"Why do you speak English in Japan?, You don't really use chopsticks correctly; you know?, English is a noisy language, When are you going back to your country?,  Gaijin stink! Take a bath!, Japanese are peaceful people so we don't understand why gaijin are so violent?, You gaijin have too many opinions, Why don't you just do it our way?, Japan is a safe country unlike America were people kill each other for fun, We are farmers and you are hunters so you are violent and we are not, Gaijin all look the same, Why is your noise pointed?, Japanese girls only like you because you have a big dick, and my all time favorite: We lost the war so we have to give you fucking Gaijin visa to come and teach English and fuck stupid Japanese girls." All of these things have actually been said to my face here in Japan.

The above quotes are a perfect example of microaggression in Japan. They seem to have a hard time with holding us up to a fantasy standard, which if we actually live up to, pisses them off beyond belief. It makes me think that a lot of Japanese really do think, deep in their hearts, that gaijin are everything they love and hate about humanity. They hate themselves so in turn they want another group to blame and hate so they will feel better about being uptight assholes who are on a mission to sink their nation to the bottom of the ocean. They cannot admit that they really like us and our way of thinking. If they fully admit they like us then they must also look at themselves and how fucked up they have allowed their society to become. It is simply too much for the average Japanese to do so they often choose to be a nasty little cunt with an ego the size of Mt. Fuji. It makes them feel good to take a shot at a Gaijin.

...And that is microaggression in Japan. If you live here and cannot understand this daily bullshit then you are truly brain dead or brainwashed by the Japanese corp. machine.

And might I add...

There are still many really cool people here in Japan. I have seen things here which also inspire me and uplift me. Not everyone here fits the picture I have just painted. It is just that this post is a picture of a combination of several years living and working in Japan daily. There is a problem with racism and xenophobia in Japan. Still, Japan offers many things besides harsh realities of a semi-isolated society who have a distrust of foreigners.   

Friday, March 23, 2012

I'm a bad man: The Shit You Do When you are Poor

Howdy Yall! Yes, I have returned to this blog to crank out from more posts. You know, bring poor is tough. All I have known for the majority of my life is hardcore poverty. When I first came to Tokyo, I was shocked by some of the things a lot of Japanese are unwilling to do in order to survive. Hell, take away their cell phone and it is as if the end world just started to go down. So many people in this city fail to realize just how easy they got it. Maybe that explains why I struggle to relate to others here in Tokyo. A lot of them were born with a silver spoon in their mouth; while I have had to fight for everything I have. I am sure if I took some of them to West Virginia they would die within a week. They just don't know how to survive. In fact, the only group in Tokyo looked down on more than gaijin is the homeless. There seems to be a certain hatred in this city toward anyone who has to fight to survive. While I grew up with the thinking that you should always try to help someone who is struggling, it seems that in Tokyo someone who is struggling should be exploited, taken advantage of and hated. Capitalism Tokyo style takes one of the most cold blooded forms I have ever experienced.

Despite the cold blooded nature of Tokyo, I will never forget the things I have done in the past in order to make it from one day to the next.

Cigarettes as currency
When you are poor there is little difference between being in jail and walking around on the street. The most common form of currency is about the same as well. If you got cigarettes you can get other stuff which you need more than a smooth smoke. I remember trading smokes for all kinds of things. Everything from CD's and porn mags to food and beer could be bought for only a few cigarettes. Hell, in high school cigarettes were even used as protection money. If you wanted to get in the good graces of the current bully, just give him a few smokes everyday and he will keep the other rocks for brains bullies off your ass. I know that sounds crazy but when everyone around you is poor and hard as nails, you have to find something that folks are willing to be nice to you in order to get.

Not allowed to be smart
When you are poor you are not allowed to be smart. What I mean is if I try hard to drag myself out of a life of poverty, most folks will tear my legs off and try to pin me down. No one wanted me to be better than the mass of poverty stricken folks who have nothing to look forward to in the future. If I got good grades in school than I was, 'a nerd who thinks he is better than everyone else.' If I could hold an intelligent conversation about something other than beer, women, drugs or lame ass music then I was,'a uptight asshole who needs to drink more beer and fuck more bitches.'  And finally, if I go to college, expand my mind, and then get the fuck out of America the first chance I got then I was, 'a traitor who has no loyalty to anyone and does not deserve to be an American.' All of those things are what it means to be considered smart in West Virginia. Now, there are exceptions of course. I knew some really interesting intelligent folks back in the mountains. They were the ones I got high with and talked about politics, society and what we can do to make our world a better place to live. I remember each and everyone of those folks who inspired me to reach for the stars and escape a life of poverty. 

If you want to learn how to be a master thief, just ask someone who grew up dirt poor.  From the time I was a little dirty faced boy I knew how to steal. It kind of came natural to me for some reason. Hell, everyone I knew, family included, had stole something right in front of my eyes by the time I was eight. My earliest memory of rogue behavior was one summer in 1987. My grandpa had taken me on his weekly trip into town. He called me his 'shadow' or 'partner in crime' and I did not understand what he meant until that one day in the summer of '87.

We were at the supermarket when he took me around the corner and said, 'Today I am going to teach you the basics of stealing. It will be a useful skill though out your life. Better you learn now than later.' 

The plan was simple, I was to steal a tube a super glue for my grandpa. I had to grab a bottle of superglue, hide it in my pants, go to the bathroom to get it out of the packaging then find a way to head out the door before anyone noticed. Since I was really small back then, I had the advantage of not being noticed as much as an adult. I remember my grandpa providing cover while I stuck the superglue down my pants. I then walked away from him as if I did not know him. I made it to the bathroom and discovered a major problem. One of the workers was in the bathroom shaving and brushing his teeth. There were no stalls in that cheap ass supermarket bathroom. The best they could to was put up thin metal walls between each toilet. I had no choice, I simply started removing the glue from the package. Of course, the guy in the blue work jump suit caught me. Shockingly, instead of dragging me to the managers office he gave me some advice, 'Next time steal something with a plastic seal because they are easier to open.' From that day forward I understood the value of stealing.

Which brings me to my next point

How to steal food and whiskey without(almost) ever getting caught

When you are poor there are two things which are always true: You are always hungry and always want to get drunk. Poverty will drive you to drinking faster than any stressful bullshit here in Tokyo. When you are poor stress is never ending. After a while you accept that being in a constant state of 'fucked' is normal. Both food and whiskey cost money which is hard to come by when you are dirt poor. As you might have guessed, I mastered the art of stealing those magical items at a pretty young age. I had been stealing candy bars and sodas from the time I realized my mother did not have a lot of pocket change to give me. When you are little stealing candy bars and sodas is easy because you are really short and no one notices you reaching for a candy bar and putting it in your pocket. When I got older however, things got really tough and getting enough to eat was sometimes a challenge.

Seeing that the need to eat must be tamed, I came up with a unique way to score extra food. Where I come from, there are small farms scattered around. Nothing too large mind you. Usually folks would keep a half acre or an acre of land set aside for small time farming. Also, it was easy to steal an ear of corn, a few tomatoes or a juicy sweet watermelon. The deal would go down pretty smooth most of the time. I would gather a few buddies up and sneak into a path. One guy would be lookout while the rest of us would grab a few fresh veggies. I only ran into trouble once when I was 15. It was at night and my best buddy at the time and I wanted to steal a big fat ass juicy as fuck watermelon which I had been keeping my eyes on for over a week. When we went to steal it the damn old man growing the melon was on his front patio drinking moonshine. He was a mean old bastard who still kept his pistol with him at all times. My buddy grabbed the watermelon but ran in the exact wrong direction. He came flying out of the patch right into the direct line of sight of that old man. The old bastard fucking flipped! He threw the jug of shine at my buddy hitting him square in the forehead. The blow cracked his skull wide open. My loyal friend melted to the ground. I have never seen someone go down like that. It was like watching the slow motion death of daffy duck on crack. I decided to at least attempt to not bail on my buddy. I ran up on the old man and yelled, 'You just killed my friend! You fucking murdering bastard!' The old fart got nervous and offered me a bottle of shine if I would not tell anyone about the insanity that had just happened. The old man rushed into his house to fetch some shine. By the time he came back, my good buddy was struggling to get on his feet. It was actually pretty damn funny watching that old bastard trying to say sorry because my buddy was so fucked in the head I don't think he knew what was going on at that point. After that day, we decided that supermarkets were a much safer place to steal food from.

Yeah, stealing from supermarkets proved to be easier than stealing candy from a baby. The people who work at supermarkets really don't give a flying fuck what happens to the store. As long as they got a paid check every week, the whole place could be raided by a gang of starved field hands for all they care. I remember walking into just about any supermarket, grabbing anything I wanted, and politely walking out with a shit eating grin on my face. Sometimes one little asshole who was trying to get promoted would yell 'Hay you! Stop! Thief! Thief!' All I had to do was haul ass across the parking lot and off their property. The old grab and run method usually worked every time. Lucky for me, I no longer have to steal in order to survive. Thankfully my thieving days are over.

So now you know some of the shit people do when they are poor. It was actually kind of fun to be poor at times. Although, being poor usually sucked big fat green floppy donkey dicks. At least if I ever find myself dirt poor again, I will know exactly what to do.

Friday, February 17, 2012

I'm a Bad Man: Japan! Don't Fight Drunk Hill Billies on the Train

Howdy Yall! It goes without saying that getting into a fight on any train in Tokyo is a very bad idea. Don't get me wrong, if you gotta gotta fight. Yet, if you can avoid it, it is best to not fight on the train. There are so many things that could go tragically wrong during a train fight. Hell, getting arrested should be the least of your concerns. Remember, most trains in Tokyo are crowded pretty much at all hours they are running. Only early as hell in the morning, i.e. the first trains, and around 2:00 pm they can be a little lean. Although, the chances that you are going to get into a fight on the first morning train, or just after mid-day, is slim to none. If some shit is going to go down, it is going to happen during the morning commute, the afternoon commute or when everyone is getting shit faced at night. When the train is crowed, a massive amount of bad business can go down. For starters, if you throw a punch and miss, you just might end up socking a women dead in the face. That is not going to end well for you. Secondly, your little fist fight could inspire others to join in the fun. A train car is not a bar. A wild wild west cluster fuck brawl only works in a bar or on the street. Inside of a packed train car, filled to the brim with pissed off over worked Japanese, will end up with a lot people seriously injured or maybe even killed. So yeah, a train fight has many unseen dangers.

Yet, there are still times when avoiding a train fight is easier said than done.

I have had three little 'conversations' on the train. I am not talking about the southern gentlemen polite kind of conversations either. For some reason there is lack of folks willing to dish out a ass kicking in Tokyo. This sad fact explains exactly why there is an over flow of loud mouth assholes who just don't know when to stop while they are ahead. Don't get me wrong, Tokyo is a hell of a town! Yet, with all the nice things Tokyo has to offer, it also brings with it a lot of spoiled fuckers who are so damn self absorbed they actually believe their shit smells like roses. Well, they believe their shit smells like roses, until of course, they meet me.

I am willing to put up with a lot of shit just to get from point A to point B in order to do something I actually like, which is teaching English, and to make some money so I can put food on the table.  The daily crap that goes down on the trains in Tokyo is enough to drive someone over the edge and straight into a murderous rampage. Don't worry yall, I have never killed anyone in Tokyo. Yet, when my buttons are pushed, in that extra special way that only a dickless spoiled Tokyo salary man can do, I will stand by ground.

Now, the first time I had any problems on the train was actually pretty early on in this whole 'living in Japan forever' business. I had finished work early that day and decided to take my gal out for a few drinks in Ikebukuro. We got on the damn Joban line. That train is known for having a lot of crazy fuckers on it daily. Still, I never expect for any crazy asshole to come floating my way.

As we all know, shit gets stupid when we least expect it.

So, I was chatting up my gal when suddenly crazy asshole decided to pay me a visit. Out of no where I heard someone say, 'Motherfucker shut your fucking mouth!' I turned around to see who the fuck was saying such uncalled for comments. Some guy, at least twice my size, was giving me the devil stare while calling me out. To be honest, I was shocked. What the hell did I do to deserve such a verbal attack? So...I ask as much: 'Dammit buddy. Are you okay?' The following exchange went down as such.

Crazy asshole: 'I will be okay when you shut the fuck up!'
Tokyo Ghost: 'Now look here...I don't know you and besides I was not even talking to you'
Crazy asshole: 'You just shut the fuck up before I fuck you up...white boy'
Tokyo Ghost: 'I think your mouth is writing checks your ass cannot cash, buddy'

He gets right in my face and goes for the stare down. I actually had to look up at him to engage in the stare down(yeah, he was bigger and taller than me). I think every Japanese on the train was scared shitless of what was unfolding. He wanted to fight me so bad he could taste it. All I could say was, 'If you wanna brawl on this damn train I will, but know that we will both go to jail for this stupid shit.' I guess he came to his senses because at the next station he got off the train and said, 'I will be watching you' Whatever the fuck that meant.

The second time crazy asshole found me on the train was one time when I was way too drunk to even be on the train. It was summer in Tokyo. Yall know what summers in Tokyo are like, right? It was a hot summer night and I wanted to have a few beers on the street with some drinking buddies. So, of course I got hammered like a jackass. I actually had to have my buddies help me to the station. I must have been a pretty sad sight. Yet, an evening of drunken gaijin hijinks was not over for me.

I was somehow able to get on the damn train just fine. The only problem was there were no empty seats. A drunkard needs a seat while on the train. Standing up on the train will only piss the drunkard off and cause him to lose whatever since of civility he had left.

And sure as shit someone had to fuck with me.

I called up my gal for a very special drunk dial. My plan was masterfully thought out. I called her up and started ranting on about fucking rabbits on the train. She thought it was damn funny, but some hardened fella standing across from me did not share in my humorous drunken madness.  I get a very hard tapping of a finger on my shoulder. When I turn around he shakes his finger at me and tries to take my phone. Drunk hill billy logic made quick order out of the situation: Man laid hands on me-man tried to steal from me-time to get some shit started! The Redneck came out of me so damn quick I am sure the guy damn near shit his pants. I totally lost my cool. I started shouting some mad crazy shit while I had him pinned up against the damn train door. I think it went something like this, 'Motherfucker! You laid hands on me! What the fuck...are you retarded? And you tried to rob me! Fuck you! You dirty little Jap bastard! I should kill your sneaky Jap bastard ass!' Before any of you give me shit for behaving in such a manner....I know that was really fucked up. I should have never said that shit to that guy nor should I have pinned him up against the train door. But....fuck him! He had it coming. It is always a bad idea to mess with a drunk hill billy on a train in a large metro area. Almost every human on the planet knows the above fact is very true except the Japanese it seems. Yet, don't worry because I honestly felt like a total prick the next day. That guy got the raw end of the deal simply because he was Japanese and did not understand how the outside world works at all. Did I feel bad about it? Yes. Should I have mercy in the future? I should but I will not. The only way to make Japan a stronger nation is to stop feeling sorry for them and always showing them mercy.

I should have learned my lesson after that little drunken explosion. Sadly, one more thrown down needed to take place before I realized it is highly advised to maintain your shit while on the train.

This one actually happened early last summer. My stress level had started to get out of hand during that time. None the less, it was still fun to thrown down a few cold ones with co-workers to blow off steam. This was also before it had finally sunk into my head to stop getting hammered drunk so much. I took one of my few trusted gaijin co-workers, along with two young gals who work in the company, out for a night of getting wasted. This was bad to start off with because I was the only one who did not have to work the next day. I should be better than to take my co-workers out and get them wasted all night knowing full well they have to work the next day. The hell with it! They are big boys and girls and know exactly what they are getting into. Anyway, it was a crazy drunken night and some things went down I would rather not repeat.

The really crazy part did not happen until day break.

I said farewell to my co-workers and hoped on the train. I was standing on the train half drunk, tired, wearing jackboots, boot cut jeans and a free Tibet T-shirt on. Yeah, I looked like a real class act. It was very clear that the best thing to do was leave me be. Yet, Japan would just not have it that way. Some fat ass middle aged salary man just had to be a prick at exactly the wrong time. The guy started snorting at me and saying 'drunk gaijin go home.' I was not in the mood to deal with that sort of thing at 6:30 am. I tried my best to brush him off but he started getting louder and louder. All I simply said was,'Nani?' His genius response,'You a drunkard. Go home.' We quickly started arguing about my legal status for living in Japan. It got heated pretty quick. I finally got tired of this racist B.S and told him to get up and do something or leave me the hell alone. And you know what? He actually got up and tried to do something about my gaijin ass living in his nation. Sadly, the damn guy had the fighting ability of a 16 year old J-girl. He started waving his arms around in an attempt to slap me. I started decking him in the face until he decided to sit the fuck down and chill out. After he sat back down, with blood coming from his mouth, he just kind of looked at each other with black heart stares. That little live action social warfare was something no one of that train expected to see before 7:00 am. Again, I scared the shit out of everyone on the train. The funny thing about the whole stunt was that he got off at the next station and everyone else acted like nothing happened. Japanese are always good for keeping a secret when you really need them to keep something on the down low.

After that last fucked up train action I swore to myself to not get into anymore shit on the train. Fighting on the train is not good and should always be considered unacceptable. Point blank: Don't do it! Just because I have done it does not mean everyone else should also do it. Although, it will forever be hard for me to shame anyone else for train fighting because my hill billy ass is guilty as sin.

There is only one positive thing about my days on the train fighting circuit: Japan has learned to never fight hill billies on the fucking crowded Tokyo trains.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I'm a Bad Man: But I Don't Gun Down Angels

Howdy Y'all. I have never really considered myself to be a 'good guy.' A lot of people tell me what a good guy I am but in my own mind I know things about myself that they don't. When I look back on my life so far, I sometimes find myself thinking 'Damn! Did you really do that...oh yeah you really did do that.' Some of those things I did for my own sick pleasure, while other acts of madness were carried out for my own survival. When you are born into dirt poor Hill Billy poverty, you learn pretty quick that morality can be relative sometimes and a good man really is hard to find. I remember growing up being told by everyone, except my mother, that there was nothing good about me. I was a dirt poor piece of redneck trash in most people's eyes and there was no two ways around changing their minds. So, yall can guess what it was like growing up in such an environment. I am surprised that the grown man you see in the picture to your left has made it this far.  Yet, I have to come to terms with my background. So let's start to deal with it, shall we?

My daddy partying with his buddies while holding my sister
Guns were apart of my daily existence from a very young age. There were men carrying guns around me daily. I really did not know the idea of 'gun totting America' as the Japanese media loves to proclaim until I started to venture beyond the mountains. It was not uncommon for my house to have a gang of hard working, poker playing, beer drinking, gun packing bad asses hanging around. I remember seeing just about every type of gun one could think of by the time I was 12. For some damn reason all of them liked to show me how to use all those guns. I was damn near a fire arms expert before I entered Junior High. My mother hated the idea of me playing with guns all the time but there was not much she could do about it. It is not an easy task to tell hardcore mountain men to stop giving the kid guns to play with. The first time I actually shot a gun must have been when I was about eight years old. My daddy was drinking with his buddies and one of them had a common .45 on him. One of the guys bet my father that I could not shoot a 40 of malt liqueur off of a dog house about 15 feet away from the door. Out of stubborn pride, my father took that bet. I was so excited that I popped off too many shots in a row and ended up shooting the 40 and the guys front driver side wheel of his near by pick-up truck. I think they got into a fight over that little stunt I pulled. So yeah, guns were apart of daily life for me.

But as we all know, playing with guns are fun until something fucked up happens. 

Fast forward to my freshmen year in university. As you can expect, the college crowd did not take well to my hill billy ass. My college buddies ended up being outsiders and foreigners who were a bit too different to be accepted by my fellow Americans. I did not mind my buddies much because they liked to create a little hell on earth just like I did. I made friends with a Russian guy from St. Petersburg. No one really liked him because he was VERY Russian and did not give a fuck what anyone thought about him. We used to buy MD 20/20, get drunk as fuck, and then throw firecrackers at each other. Yeah, we were into that kind of fun.

Anyway, the first time I returned home was for Thanksgiving break. I was dating a chick from India at the time so she was coming home with me. Yuri soaked around campus a week before because none of the host families would take him in for the break because they were scared of him; and for good reason. So, I told him if he would give Sheela and I a ride to my house he could stay with me over Thanksgiving break. I had no idea at the time how much of a bad idea that would turn out to me.

The first night should have been a warning sign that it was going to be a fucked up week. When we arrived at my house Sheela was tired so she went to sleep. I called up a few buddies, got Yuri high off some weed, and took him to a high school football game. He fell in love with American football. He was yelling at the players to 'kill each other you American bastards' and trying to pick a fight with the line ref. Everyone was giving us the 'die you commie fuckers' look the entire time. Yuri did not give a fuck and was singing the damn Russian national anthem at half time. We were lucky to get out of there alive. And that was day one...

During the course of the next few days the four of us, my father included, developed a taste for cheap Tequila, arguing about everything and fists fights(the fights were was mostly my father and I after Sheela pissed him off). Yeah, we were having a good old fashioned West Virginia good time. 

It was all fun and games until one night Yuri got drunk and wanted some pussy.

On the first day I told Yuri that the guy who lives on the hill across the road will let you fuck his wife if you give him some pills. I said that as a joke but Yuri thought I was serious. One night Yuri got more drunk than usual and decided it was time to get his fuck on.  He still had some Xanax he had bought from some wigged out science major. He grabbed the bottle of Xanax, my dads condoms, and as he marched out the door proclaimed, 'I'm going up hill to trade pills for man's wife.' My dad had long ago passed out, Sheela was high off her ass, my fat ass gay cousin so too drunk and I was left to try and stopped Yuri. I tried to talk him out of it but he just kept saying, 'Good loving for good pills' and knocked me on the ground several times. I finally gave up and said to him,'fine you crazy Russian motherfucker, if you wanna get killed tonight go night ahead.' We all just waited for the gun shot to break the silence of the night.

They spoke loud and with confidence.

Yuri: Ryan said you will trade pills for the fucking of your wife? I am here to make trade.
Angry Redneck: What the fuck are you!?
Yuri: I am Russian and I come to fuck your wife! Where is she? 

A few minutes later....BOOM! 'You Russian commie bastard! Get off my land before I kill you!'

The boom sound came from the business end of a double barrel pump action shot gun. The death threat came from a man named Randy; and he was pissed the fuck off.

Yuri came rolling back to my house as cool as a penguin. He kicked open my door and coldly said, 'Where is gun? Time for American asshole with slut wife to die!'

He went right to the gun case and picked out a truly classy weapon; a rifle which had not been properly cleaned for about a year. He also grabbed a box of bullets and started to head out the door. At that point I had to stop his crazy ass from going on a murderous rampage. As Yuri was loading the gun I hit him square in the jaw, but that only dazed him. I hit the bastard again with a good old fashioned Irish upper cut and he was down for the count. It was then that I noticed that Sheela and my fat ass gay cousin had been watching the scene unfold with a look of pure horror on their faces. They looked like they had just watched a zombie take a bite out of someone. If the whole situation had not been so fucked up, I might have started laughing at them.

Seeing that Yuri was pretty much out cold, the three of us want out back and smoked a joint. We thought it was all over...but Yuri was not finished yet. When we heard his Ford Bronco start up and kick up gravel as it hauled ass out of the driveway I simply gave the fuck up. He was sure to get himself killed one way or the other. Yet, to my surprised he return within 30 minutes with some very special friends. Yuri's new friends were four cops cars and eight pissed off cops. They circled his Bronco while one of them shouted, 'One of you Smith's come out here and claim this son of the bitch.' I was the only Smith in the house who was smart enough to deal with those cops. Dad was passed out and my fat ass gay cousin was too much of a pussy to talk to the cops. I came outside and said, 'I am a Smith. What the hell did he do?'

The lead cop took me to the side and very smoothly said, 'I don't know were this guy is from but he is fucking crazy. One of our officers was on traffic duty and that bastard tried to hump the damn hood of the officers car. Now you look here Smith boy, You lock him up in a room and do not let him out until he sobers up. If we catch him out again tonight we will take him to the station and you know what will happen there. Do you understand me you little Smith asshole?'

I agreed and they cut Yuri loose. I told Yuri to go pass out in my room. I made sure to lock the damn door behind him. From that day forward he forever became known as the Yuri the redneck Russian.

As unbelievable as this tale seems, I can assure you that it is all true. I cannot make this shit up.

My life is much more mellow how compared to my days living in the mountains of West Virginia. Which is most likely why I have damn near lost my mind here in Japan. Being a good guy who is so damn polite is not easy when you come from the kind of place I have. The social pressures of Japan have damn near broke me but I am sure most people in Tokyo could never handle West Virginia.

This is the first in a series of posts about my background. I need to comes to terms with what made me who I am today. It will switch from my life in West Virginia and here in Japan. I am sure you will find these post to be entertaining and enlightening.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

A Sexless Rebellion in Japan? Japanese are Refusing to Fuck.

Howdy Yall! We have all heard of Japan having many 40 year old virgins who don't even know what a pussy looks like. Hell, on a day when I am more keen than usual I can damn near pick them out from a crowd. It is usually the guys who sit on the train as if they have something stuck up their ass. You know, the ones who have man purses and the facial expression of a bright eyed women. The guys who are so timid that it seems as if they cut off their own balls and sold them to some pervert in Akiba. The Japanese refer to these types as herbivore men. They choose to give up on sex, or any romantic relationship, and instead focus on meaningless hobbies and self absorbed lifestyles. They are even known to develop very bizarre fuck buddy partnerships with sex dolls. Yet, what is not being asked is why so many Japanese are rejecting to engage in the time honored tradition of fucking like rabbits? 

I gave the some thought as to the reason why Japan is giving up on sex, after watching a recent TYT report about a survey that
found 36 percent of males age 16 to 19 have zero interest in sex and even despise the idea of getting their fuck on. To be honest, my first reaction to this was 'Dammit Japan! What the hell is your damn problem?' I mean really, how do you manage to create an entire generation of young men who are trading fucking girls for fucking lifeless sex dolls and dating girls from video games? To say the least, I had to think about this one for a bit. Considering that I live in Japan and interact with the society daily, my answer to the question at hand draws on my direct experience with the Japanese people and their current modern society.

To my mind, I think the youth of Japan, as well as many 20 and 30 somethings, are rejecting sex and reproducing, as a means of rebellion in a society which leaves little room for overt individuality  or social change. Of course, though means of mass commercialism and consumerism , it would seem that there is plenty individual self expression in Japan. Yet, after living here for a while it is clear to me that people are forced fed a form of, not only individuality, but also sexuality which just does not feel natural to them.

Think about it y'all...

From a very early age most J-guys are fed the idea that they should carry a be cool, I don't give a fuck, bad asses, you should be stubborn as a mull and treat women like sex object which serve, at most, as social status kind of attitude. To be married to a hot women who will crank out babies and treat their husband like a little boy, is the image most J-guys are told to have of women.If you are a J-guy who wants more out of a close relationship with a women, you are pretty much left with few options for a partner. No wonder more and more J-guys are saying, 'screw it! I don't want anything to do with any of these dumb ass chicks.'

And speaking of the ladies, the situation does not get much better.

According to the recent survey reported on by TYT, almost 60 percent of girls between the age of 16 to 19 have zero interest in sex. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was a teenager the girls carried just as much of an aggressive attitude towards sex as the guys. Hell, I was hit on by more girls than I hit on myself. During my high school days, it did not take much to get a blowjob. It become very clear to me pretty early on that America is a nation of lovers. Although, sexuality has often been used as a form of rebellion in the USA. Yet, here in Japan the lack of sexuality is used as an act of rebellion. Women in Japan are forced into being nothing more than sex objects as soon as possible. I mean, just look at all the perverts in Japan going crazy over very young girls in school uniforms. I think most people are aware of the rape club scandal at Wasada University.If you want to get a wolf like reaction out of men in Japan, simply mention school girls. It seems to be universally accepted that school girls(either jr/high school or University) are sex objects. No wonder the younger generation of Japanese women are rejecting their own sexuality. Just think of what it must be like to walk knowing full well that you school uniform is viewed as something to make you a sex object.

Does Japanese society offer these young men and women other options to express their sexuality in a natural manner. Of course not! So, these high numbers of young people rejecting sex all together in order to develop a personality and identity which is not forced fed to them based solely on their sexuality should not be surprising.

What all of that said, Japan still needs to fuck. They have a population which will decrease by 1/3 by 2060. This is a serious problem which Japanese society refuses to address. Japanese need to be able to express and explore their own sexuality without being forced to view each other as sex objects.

A sexless rebellion is not the kind of rebellion which will benefit the nation at all. It is turning the nation into a gang of sexless self absorbed uptight assholes who will destroy Japan unless the powers that be give up their tight grip on the culture.

Dammit Japan! You really need to fuck!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

OBEY! Or You Cannot Live in Japan

Howdy Yall! I think most of the world knows that Japanese are a controlled and repressed people. It is also common knowledge that it did not take military on the street or public beatings to achieve a modern society of slavish worker drones. All that was needed was good old fashioned propaganda and mental intimidation. Government and business in Japan have done a very good job of scaring the living shit out of the people of Japan. I can say with full confidence that the hard working people of Japan are brainwashed to the point that most of them are scared of their own shadow. This has been the situation long before I arrived on the shores of the land of the rising sun; and will continue to be true for years to come.

Yet, Japan should know that I don't have to play ball.

In fact, whenever I am given the chance I will support any resistance any Japanese citizen gives to a system which has made them weak mindless drones. I did the same thing in American so there is no point for me to change now. Americans are also brainwashed, but in a very different way. Many Americans are brainwashed to accept ultra violence, endless war, hate, greed and increasing government control over their lives. This is a fact about American society which many Americans will refuse to ever admit. Ask your average American about America and they will give you this fantasy image of a free peaceful society in which everyone has total rights under the laws of liberty. That is a fucking lie! America is a fascist war machine which pretends to be a democracy. Yet, so many American Ex-pats living in Japan dare not expose the truth to the Japanese people. They just cannot come to terms with the fact that American society might be just as brainwashed as Japanese society. Well, as you can tell I hold no fantasies about my native nation. With that said, Americans are also some of the most outgoing and friendly people on the planet. Yes, I love American culture but have no love for the fucking government.

While many Americans are indeed brainwashed, Japanese have had their minds beaten into the mud by the shit kicking jackboots of social conformity racial harmony. That is some heavy shit to deal with daily so I have nothing but empathy for Japanese people. Yet, there are times when you must say 'fuck all that. Something is wrong and I will not put up with it anymore.' It is very rare in Japan for folks to stand up and resist social and political dogma; but it does happen. I have seem it with my own eyes. A perfect example of this is Occupy Tokyo. I know what you must be thinking, 'The Occupy movement in Tokyo? I thought that was a bunch of spoiled college kids and lazy do nothings.' Come on now! You are smarter than to believe such propaganda. There in fact a Occupy Tokyo and they do in fact have very clear goals in mind. The Japanese media has engaged in a total blackout of a group of Japanese who want nothing more than actual democracy and a nuclear free nation. I have not only met with Occupy Tokyo but have also stood by them and marched by their side. They are a very different breed of the Occupy movement. They make their goals very clear: no nuclear power and no TPP(Trans-Pacific Partnership). They get harassed daily by the extreme Japanese right-wing fascist  group known as the Uyoku Dentai. The police attempt to place pressure on the group to leave the area of the METI building they currently occupy. Yet, they remain in solitary fighting and resisting in a nation which standing up for yourself is considered to be the ultimate sin.

While it is true that 'to obey' is an easy way to survive in Japan, it is much better to stand up for yourself on this little island nation. Life may be a little harder and you will have to deal with the massive social pressure to sit down and shut up. You will, in the end, make yourself and Japan a stronger society and nation.

If you are able, head on over to Occupy Tokyo in front of the METI building in Tokyo. Meet with them and stand by them. They are a rare example of people standing up for themselves in Japan.        

Friday, February 3, 2012

You Can Sleep When You are Dead

Howdy Y'all! So, there has been an odd side effect of a mental breakdown that I have not been dealing with. In fact, I have pretty much chosen to play it off and hope it goes away. Despite my best efforts, it just will not go away. I think my body has forgotten how to sleep. I know that sounds crazy, but it sure as hell feels like my body has simply forgotten how to maintain a steady sleep pattern. I have experienced this kind of thing before but not like it has been over the past few months.

During my college days, I was known to operate on very little sleep. It was not uncommon to see me show up for class looking pretty ragged out. I would stay up and either study or do drugs for days on end. It freaked folks out sometimes. I remember once I showed up for a creative writing class to recite a short story I had wrote. I looked like the walking dead. My eyes were totally blood shot and my jeans actually had blood on them(bloody jeans due to cutting the shit out my face while shaving before class). I recited a story I had written while on a all night Jack Daniels and weed bender. Everyone in the damn class, including the teacher, just stared at me with a look of horror as I recited a story about a guy who could not remember if he was alive or dead. I pretty sure the entire situation scared the living shit out of everyone. Damn teacher even asked me what as up after class. I told her the cold dirty truth, 'I was up all night smoking weed, drinking jack and writing this story.' She never asked me about my personal life again.

But that was then and this is now....

Now, the cause of my inability to drift off into dreamland is a bit different. One of the side effects of Bi-polar is something called cycling. Cycling causes you to not sleep. This sucks a big green donkey dick but facts are facts sadly. I have been trying to find a way to force my body into a somewhat regular sleep pattern but so far nothing has worked. I usually end up rolling around in the bed for hour after hour until I give up. It is not a constant problem. Sometimes I will be able to sleep pretty well for about a week or two before this shit flares up again. It kind of comes and goes.

I have pin pointed what causes my body to lose a regular sleeping habit. When something happens which I cannot resolve emotionally, my mind just gets stuck in a loop trying to work things out in my mind. Since I am a man, my chemical make up makes my mind attempt to rationalize every damn thing. Unfortunately, my emotions flow free like an untouched river hidden deep in the Appalachian Mountains. So, I can slip into a mental freeze up a bit easier than I really desire. I can compare it to pulling off a balancing act at a circus while tripping your balls off on some mushrooms. It will take some time for me to convince my since of logic that it really is just all in my head.

So, I might as well take advantage of the situation. This whole lack of sleep things actually increases my creativity. My writing is a bit more on point and I can get some pretty deep, and bitch ass long fucking time to read, research done. The kind of things I research tend to take a hell of a lot of time to read though and digest. I can also complete a few things I was looking forward to in some crazy ass computer game I should have never gotten hooked on in the first place.

Although, I should not consider the advantages to be so positive. Not being able to maintain a regular sleep pattern is nothing to take lightly. I will have to come up with a plan to limit these manic periods. I am sure it will fuck up my head and body in the long run. I will give this some thought in dream land as I am finally starting to feel sleepy. If I can get about five hours of sleep I will be just fine for another twisted day in Japan.

What do all of you suggest? Better yet, have any of you experienced something similar? Feel free to share your own experiences with lack of sleep as well as suggestions.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

We All Live in A Gaijin Bubble...And We All Hate Each Other For It!

Howdy Yall! I got your attention with the title of this post; didn't I? So recently, I mentioned the Gaijin Bubble in a post and it got some unexpected reactions. It seems few people like to be referred to as living in a Gaijin bubble in Japan. Apparently, the term 'gaijin bubble' is viewed as a negative term among my fellow gaijin. Yet, the truth of the matter is that almost all of us are living in a gaijin bubble. 

I am damn sure what caused the knee jerk reaction was the simple fact that I did not include myself as living in a gaijin bubble. I can understand that; really I can. Gaijin can have just as much of a tight net community as the Japanese can. If someone implies, 'I am not one of you,' of course a strong reaction might be coming. Well, I can assure you that was not my intention at all. In fact, if it is not clear enough by now, I am a fucking gaijin. I am most likely a classic example of a white bread trailer trash gaijin you will ever come across. Despite my best efforts, I still fail to be accepted as being a part of Japanese society. Yet, I still give it my best shot anyway. And this brings me to why I am writing this post. To my mind, all of us are living in a gaijin bubble due to two very key reasons. First, we are silently excluded from Japanese society. Secondly, due to the silent exclusion, we look to find kinship with other gaijin who are also excluded from Japanese society. And one of the things none of us will ever admit is that, deep down inside, we have a sort of hatred and love for each other. I know what some of you may be thinking, 'What the fuck is this hill billy from the mountains of West Virginia talking about?' Well, please allow me to explain in more detail.

Okay. First we need to get this whole silent exclusion thing explained. I know that a lot of us try damn hard to speak the language, learn the basic mannerisms, grow to love the food and all that jazz. Yet, you and I both know that we will always be viewed as gaijin. This is a cultural fact about Japan. It is something almost everyone knows about but few people will admit. So, maybe I am the first one to say this fact openly. Though, most Japanese don't want to be rude about it so they practice a silent exclusion as to avoid making gaijin feeling more awkward then we already do. In my experience, when you get too close to being a 'insider' as opposed to being an 'outsider,' Japan will back away from you and simply shut you out. This is the truth and most people know it.

Alright, we got the whole silent exclusion out of the way. Now, let's mention the kinship thing a bit.

It is only natural for someone to seek out kinship when they are being marginalized. You want to buddy up with people who are going though the same struggle as you. This is natural and healthy. In fact, it is very important part of living in Japan as a gaijin. You must have at least a few buddies who will not drive you insane. I have my little gang of gaijin buddies I run with and I am sure most of us do as well. I also have a little gang of Japanese buddies I run with, but of course it is not the same(we call ourselves the dirty Adachi gang just for kicks). Rolling with each group is a very different experience. When I am with my gaijin buddies the kinship is so clear that it seems as if we have known each other from birth. Yet, at the same time there is an unspoken level of aggression which could turn ugly at any moment. Some of you may have seen me interacting with one or two of my gaijin buddies and the aggression must be funny and scary at the same time. That is were the hate factor comes into play.

Oh yeah! Gaijin do in fact hate each other to a certain extent. It is very rarely talked about but it is there all the same. There is a feeling among many gaijin, myself included, that we must never take a shot at each other for any given reason. Even when we fuck each other over, it seems that if we air that shit out in the open it is considered the ultimate of sins.  Everyone's ego and pride must be protected like a 16 year old's masturbation habit.  Don't believe me, try it for yourself. Call someone out on their shit and you will witness a fire breathing dragon of hate which will rival the likes of even this guy. So yeah, there is always an unspoken level of hate and aggression just under the surface of most gaijin kinship.All that said, I do have a few buddies who I don't feel any aggression toward. I can only think of one or two.

Alright, now that I have explained what I mean by a 'gaijin bubble' in great detail, I hope you found this post very interesting. I am a very social person so maybe I notice these more than other people. I have been guilty of everything in this post at least once. At the same time, I don't like most of the things I mentioned in this post; this post is simply what I have experienced. I am sure the comments section of this post might get a little hot, but that is alright by me because somethings need to be talked about openly. Let's make the most of this opportunity to discuss a few things we don't normally get the chance to talk about. Maybe you see things a bit differently, so please express yourself. And remember, I love you all very deeply.