Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Tokyo Life: Welcome to the World`s Largest Rat Race

The suns raises at 4:30 a.m. and already the city stirs. There is a man riding around the hood on a loud scooter dropping off the morning paper. A few gals and guys are rolling in from a long night of partying. Old men hobble along the street spitting their guts up while making their way to buy some cheap sake. In a few hours a sudden mind numbing sound makes your ears bleed. Your eyes open and are burned by an already punishing morning sunshine. You smack the alarm clock like a red headed step sister and reach for a pack of Lucky Strikes. Your day has begun.

After a cup of coffee and hacking up something nasty from your lungs it is time to shit shower and shave.The process is the same everyday. You rush to get though the daily personal hygiene ritual in order to have enough time to smoke another cancer stick, suck down another cup of coffee, and check your e-mail. With 20 minutes before you have to catch the train you throw on your suit like a coke fiend; leaving just enough time to fix your hair. You run your ass to the station and get on the train just before the doors coldly shut. The journey to work has begun.

You have to transfer three times to get to the hell hole called a job. The mass of merciless business men and crazed city dwellers push, punch, poke, grab, and cram onto the trains like a pack of starved cannibals fighting over virgin flesh. You are the virgin flesh offered up as a human sacrifice. They are the hungry masses foaming at the mouth. You must fight for your life or be eaten alive before you even get the change to sell your soul the waiting slave master.

You somehow arrive at work in one piece. Everyone is just as pissed off and on fire as you. All of your fellow slaves are hustling to prepare for another day of thankless service to the all power company. Big Brother is watching of course and he loves you dearly. Don`t fuck-up or you will have to be reeducated with a trip to the Hello Work office. As the work day progresses you feel as if you are one day closer to jumping in front of a train; then lunch break arrives. You run away from the place of your torment to the nearest restaurant that serves up food which would make the average person kill over. You eat with joyful glee and stare at the other customers with a cold glare.

When your slave master finally releases you from your daily habit of S&M bondage known as work, you dash to the nearest low down bar to drink until you cannot feel feelings anymore. You have developed the ability to drink and smoke enough poison to kill an African elephant during your time in Tokyo so far. The natives dare not try to out drink you for fear of death by alcohol poison. The waiter always looks at you with a hateful glare when you order the all you can drink option. They not making any money off of you tonight because you always drink enough to get 20 navy boys from Yokosuka drunk.. Somehow you make it out of the bar just in time to catch the last train home. The cannibals are almost as drunk as you hence not as hungry for your virgin flesh. 

When you arrive home you spend a good hour emptying your stomach of the poison which did not manage to infect your body. After which you pass out with you head resting on the toilet seat for a good 30 minutes. You finally make it to your bed when you are awoken by the sounds of a fight on the street; but don`t remember how you managed such a feat. You are at peace for now.  

1 comment:

reesan said...

>> The waiter always looks at you with a hateful glare when you order the all you can drink option.

LOL