Wednesday, February 2, 2011

It`s True! I am a Twisted Mother Fucker!

To say that I am a bit `out of place` in Japan is an understatement. I am not talking about the simple fact that I am not Japanese; because that is just a fact of life. In fact, I find the Japanese to be pretty interesting people. While I don`t agree with their overall mindset at times and unique ability to be distant even when it does not benefit them, I try to give them equal bearing even when they refuse to give it to me. I don`t really try to relate to them because it has been made clear to me that, as a nation and a culture, they don`t want anyone to relate to them. One of my biggest struggles living in Japan has been relating to other western foreigners.

Yall would think this shit would not be so hard. In the end, we are all in this together. One would expect some sort of natural common ground among the western foreign population. I have found that this is simply not the case. Now, before I go any further let me say that I do know some really cool people. They are few and far between but I do know some. Yet, for the life of me I seem to have a really hard time relating and befriending other `gaijin.`

I have spent countless nights staying up late attempting to understand what the root of the problem is. At times I have tried my damn hardest to be friendly and nice as I can be. Despite my attempts at friendship I find myself being awkward and left `out of the loop` way too often. I seem to find a way to make people have adverse reactions to me. Maybe I really am a twisted mother fucker. I go over the edge into the land of chaos a lot more than I should. Sometimes my rebellious nature may freak people out or give them the impression that I am somehow unhinged. To be honest, I don`t feel that way about myself.

I think due to a hell of a lot of crazy shit which has gone down around me, to me and because of me has made me sensitive to the world on a much different level  than a lot of westerners. I have experienced first hand a lot of madness in my life. Hell, I have touch death`s hand twice, partied in ways which would kill most men, hunted out thrills which are in no way safe, buried my own father, been involved in fights which should have killed me, grew up in one of the roughest backwoods areas of America and dated women wilder and more dangerous than a cobra. All of these things, combined with a few others, have given me a pretty unique spirit. Yet, I find myself struggling to not only find a comfort zone with Japanese but also bond with other `gaijin.`

I need to find a way to relate and express myself in a way which other people can get a handle on. People mock me and it pisses me off! I really do not like being marginalized by others lack of ability to understand me as a person. As I have always believed, `To know me is to love me.`  

12 comments:

BiggerInJapan said...

"dated women wilder and more dangerous than a cobra". You should add that you're a great "wordsmith" too.

TheGhost said...

Wow! Thanks for that. Maybe the first time I have been called a `wordsmith` in my entire life.

Chris said...

Sometimes my rebellious nature may freak people out or give them the impression that I am somehow unhinged. To be honest, I don`t feel that way about myself.

I'm not rebellious as much as I'm just short tempered and have extreme respect expectations.

Open your own School. I have been named 2x in the local paper for fighting incidents and My school is packed. Results pwn everything. How are the haters now?? The ones who thought for sure back in 2004 when I started this I would explode and implode?? They are all somebody elses bitch. ALL of them have taken public contracts to survive the recession while I and my fuck you suck a dick if you don't like it attitude has thrived. I am a teaching machine. The fact that God gave me enormous complexes and fast and heavy hands has not bothered my wallet one bit.

A ha ha mother fuckers. Now I'm about to drop the names of all the local dickheads on my new blog and then wait for their non arrival. Buncha Kanji studying manga readin faggots with no spines. I taunt them to their face and am ignored. Now I will taunt them on the net for everyone to see and be recorded for as long as the net exists. I have offered to take on 2 people in particular at once and I said I'd video it and upload to Youtube right away. Nobody wants to dance with me :(

Love the writing.

BiggerInJapan said...

Ghost, you have some raw skills - I like it! Hang in there.

blogspot said...

Sound like we need to catch up for a beer, your not the lone ranger in a lot of what you describe.
-Paul

p.s. not sure why I appear as blogspot, thanks google.

sammy d said...

I am really into you're writing please send me somemore

sammy d said...

There is so much that I relate to I'm this latest entry. I feel we are a lot a like in very many ways most my kinsfolk are from North Carolina and there and not Chicagoland is where I belong.
A lot of times I know that I wouldn't be accepted there, and since I am so Southern like, I'm not accepted here up north.
A lot of times I go by Hoosier Hillbilly. ;-D

Chris said...

Buy one of these between knockin folks out. Best thing I ever bought since coming to Japan for many reasons :)

http://badboyinjapan.blogspot.com/2011/02/fighting-in-japan.html

BiggerInJapan said...

a beer sounds good - if you can look through the suit

TheGhost said...

@Chris-I actually have been thinking of opening up my own school for a while. I feel there are some things I could simply manage better on my own. I just feel I need to get at least a CELTA license before opening up my own school. I am trying to set up a situation in which I can actually have enough time off to get my CELTA. BTW I would be interested a good skype conversation with about the process of opening up a school and maybe other topics as well.

@Sammy d-I am deeply grateful that you dig my writing. I hope you keep reading. BTW Hillbillies always survive!

@biggerinjapan-I only hope I can get better and better.

@Everyone--I have decided to plan a `Ghost Letters` drinking meet-up in Tokyo in the near future. If anyone would be interested I will make the effort to bring the idea to reality.

blogspot said...

Count me in
-Paul

the fashionate traveller said...

Heya! If you're organising a Ghost Letters piss up in March, I'm there 17th to 30th. Let me know :)