Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Actually You`re Boring

Usually it is the same thing every time. The same lame ass garbage regurgitated to me as if I started teaching last week. No new ideas or `real` shop talk ever happens. Instead, I am watched all day as if I am guilty of some twisted crime. I cannot focus my mind because there is a little man holding a small title with a massive ego up in my shit all day. They tend to follow me around like some lost puppy. They psychically put their nose in my business. I am sitting at a table going over a few mental notes in my head while some jackass leans over and ask random questions meant to confuse me. This boot licking sold-out Nazi has the idea in his head that since I am a front line teacher there must be something very fucked up about the way I work. He only needs to smoke me out and he will find that I am deeply fucked up and a shit teacher. At least, that is how folks of his stripe think. Yes, I am talking about mangers in the English teaching biz.

Truth be known, most foreign managers are nothing more than a troll for the Japanese managers who actually run shit. For some reason it is standard thinking in my biz that gaijin always listen to other gaijin. A lot of the times when you go directly to the J-managers and tell them whats up, they write you off, make a decision, and have some boring ass pillow bitter threaten you until you agree with the company. Mr. Pillow Bitter is usually, but not always, some lame prick who has the backbone of Judas. This person will do several things to force you to go with the company agenda: glaring stares, outright threats,lies, dismissive attitude, correct everything you say even if you are right, twist every word you say into a negative statement against the company and their favorite tactic of writing bad reviews of you until you give in. Sound familiar?

In their own minds they are god`s gift to Japan and English teaching. They are a `special` gaijin because the Japanese corp. world has chosen them to oppress, threaten and sell out their fellow foreign workers. In their mind that makes them slightly bit better than all the other foreigners in Japan. They spend their days in a false sense of perfection due to the Japanese managers(you know, the ones who actually run shit) fill their heads with how `professional` they are and what a `great` teacher they are. They quickly become addicted to the attention and are willing to do almost anything to maintain their `special` gaijin status. All other foreign teachers are considered a threat and must be sold-out and back stabbed at the first chance. For Example, if some teacher gets more students then every effort must be made to make that teacher look made. Remember! No one can be better than the `special` gaijin.

Call me crazy?! What I just described is so normal in Japan. At the end of the day is really gets on my nerves. I don`t understand this cutthroat shit that gets in the heads of most foreign managers in Japan. It must be some kind of fucked up complex in their heads. Gaijin managers act so much like the damn police that I am willing to bet that both are suffering from the same fucking problem in their heads. Come to think of it, out of all the gaijin managers I have dealt with only one actually had a fucking personality. I am serious about this. You know how police are so damn uptight and lame that offering them a ham sandwich upsets them? Well, that is the same crap you will get out of most gaijin managers. EVERYTHING is an issue for them. You WILL do something to piss them off. Once you have pissed them off you can sit back and watch them contradict everything which comes out of their mouth. Usually, I just sit back and listen. The hard part is not busting out in schoolgirl giggles while I listen to someone try to not look like a horse`s ass.

I wonder if they actually take time to stop and think about what they are doing? If any of these jokers would get real with me they would discover that I am not their fucking enemy. I actually like talking about teaching; but only with teachers who drop their ego. They would also discover that most of the things which they are told to talk shit about actually brothers me a little as well. If they could cut the bullshit for just a few minutes they would learn that we have almost the same struggle daily at work. Yet, they lack the ability to stop puking out massive bullshit to anyone coming in contact with them. Well, they can keep their lame `special` status. I will always be the better man.