I hated the massive amount of racism which surrounded me. So, I decided to refuse to date white women as a rejection of the thinking that white women were better than non-white gals. In fact, my best emotional and sexual experiences have been with non-white women. Taste the world boys, and you will never go back to white gals. I hated how everyone focused on money all the time. So, I started to barter with my friends and avoid exchanging money as much as I could. I offered `other` services in exchange for a bit of `the good life.` The power of the cult of personality became very clear to me at a very early age. If people `like you` you would be surprised what they will do for you in exchange for your time or company. If you can make people feel good either with your ideas or charm, they will give you all the `gold` you could ever want. It still amazes me how I can get people to do things for me just because they `like me.` Yet, all is not perfect in Never Never Land.
Something happened which I did not expect....I got older and my mind aged with my body.
Wisdom is a gift and a curse. I am sure it happened as I left my 20`s. I had spend the majority of my 20`s rebelling against the things I did not like at random. I had no clear plan nor direction. I reacted very naturally without fear of punishment or social backlash. In my late 20`s I got my first taste of hardcore establishment at the highest levels. Think about it, rebellious guy in his late 20`s given total control of an entire area of a company. I was given free reign to do as I wished as long as nothing went wrong. I thought I had achieved exactly what I wanted; having the power to change things from the inside out. Damn...was I wrong.
It did not take long for me to see that something was not as it seemed. I was told to do as I see fit but I also noticed that I got blamed for many things which I had nothing to do with. At first, I brushed it off as assholes being assholes...but that was my biggest mistake. You see, in the corporate world assholes run the show. There are no good people in management so you can get a good picture as to my situation. Shit really does flow in one direction...straight fucking down hill! If one of those assholes could blame me for something, they would do so gladly. So, in my rebellious nature I decided to fight. Little did I know that assholes always play dirty. I underestimated the slimy level assholes will go in order to save their own ass. I was shocked and beside myself by what I witnessed go down. They tried to set everyone up. It made me sick to my stomach and gave me nightmares for months! Yet, I survived it all and came out of it pretty clean. I did lose my so-called title but I did not care about that so much in the first place. I will never forget that experience for as long as I live because it was a turning point on my life. I finally realized what the problem was...greed hate and ego.
It all really comes down to these things; greed, hate and ego.
When I was a little bit younger, I did not realize the driving forces I was playing on to get the things I wanted. Now, I am fully aware, at the age of 32, exactly what drives men and women of power. Give them a chance to make more money; they will love you. Give them a change to take revenge on those they see as a threat; they will love you. Give them a regular boost to their ego; they will consider you as a half god. Yet, the moment you challenge the establishment or do something which puts their power in question, they will come at you with all the rage of hell. It is still shocking for me to see someone change so quickly in regards to their attitude towards me. I have seen men and women go from worshiping the ground I walk on to cursing the same ground to the fires of hell. If I do not make them money, help them destroy others or feed their ego, I must be against them. This is the mind set we, the common people, are dealing with. And in Tokyo, the seat of the national government, greed hate and ego rules over everything.
If you dig deep enough in this blog, you will read about my struggle to understand the darkness which surrounds me. It is a pretty interesting story to say the least. A mountain boy comes to the big bad city of Tokyo. He is amazed by all that he sees. People seem to `like` him. Then once his natural since of justice is exposed, the darkness comes to destroy him. Yet, the hate greed and ego did not destroy me. I am still here and standing taller than before. These days, I am fully aware of whats up and I do not approve. I could easily run but I don`t like the easy way. I would rather stand and fight. You would be surprised by how many good people there actually are in Tokyo. The problem is that they are scared of what is to come. Japan is damn near on the verge of revolution and many people are scared of such things. They don`t know if they should go for it or sit on the fence and wait it out. That is where my foreignness comes into play. If they see that I can break the so-called rules, speak my mind openly and live a life with meaning, well who knows what might happen.
