Ryan Vs. The Japanese Health Care System

By now all of yall know I really don`t like socialized health care. I have experienced it first hand and while there are some advantages, the negatives make it an overall raw deal. None the less, this is what I have to deal with in order to live in Japan. I pay for the National Heath Care insurance every month like a good little slave. Considering that I am paying for it as I might as well get something out of it from time to time. Well, my dearest wife has been nagging me to get a `health check` for about two months with the wonderful reason of, `You are 30 now so there is risk you might get sick and die.` While I really doubt my days are numbered at 30 the gal sees things very differently. To make her happy, and shut her up about it, I scheduled myself a trip to the hospital for a `health check.`

As you might have guessed, a `health check` in Japan is a bit different from what you would expect in the states. First of all, I had to go to a annex of the main hospital. That was a little odd but no biggie. When I finally got to the section I needed I felt like I had just walked into a mad house. There were gals in cute uniforms running around leading people to a variety of rooms for all the different tests to be carried out. There were people(mostly old as dirt) sitting in the waiting area looking at each other with uncomfortable expressions. The admins at the front desk were cold and all business. I thought about doing something funny in an attempt to get a smile out of them but they would most likely had none of it. They simply checked my paperwork, informed me of the price(26,000 yen! So much for socialized care), gave me a key to a locker so I could change, and told me to wait. Oddly enough the motherfuckers charged me for the damn medical outfit I had to change into for the `health check.` From the get go I felt like I was getting scammed!

After about 20 min. my name was called, correctly oddly, and the gauntlet began. Apparently, Japan must have a lack of general practice doctors because every section of the test required a different doctor. I personally thought it was a huge waste of money to have that many doctors to perform a simple health check. I must have got poked and prodded by at least 12 different so-called `specialist.` Socialized health care must be sucking the Japanese government dry. A general practice doctor could have almost done everything it took 12 doctors to do. Hell, it took three people to just take a blood sample, check my height and ask me a few basic lifestyle questions! The amount of people getting in on taking the Japanese government for a ride is amazing sometimes.

I would have not minded the scam happening right before my eyes so much if they had not been so damn out in the open about it. The whole ordeal went down along one long ass hallway with rows of small rooms on each side. In each room one small part of the `health check` was completed. In between checks you were ordered to set down on a kind of comfortable green sofa. Every Japanese I sat down next to stared at me harder than usual. It may have been the first time any of them saw a gaijin getting a health check. Such a fact would not be surprising considering most of the big employers of westerners do not offer a health care plan. The national coverage is a bit out of price range for your average gaijin to afford. It would have been nice to have a buddy with me because it was super awkward having a gang of old people wearing ugly green hospital gear staring at me with odd expressions glued on their faces.

To be fair, one of the bright moments was being lead to the next room by a cute early 20 something gal wearing a cute checked outfit. They had entire team of these gals assisting every single person to their next room. it was surreal to say the least. It was like being on some Japanese game show from hell, `Okay folks! Our next lucky player will take the liquid metal in your stomach/fun with X-rays challenge!`

Seriously, I am not joking about liquid metal being involved in the whole ordeal! At one point in the `health check` I went into a X-ray room. I have gotten plenty of X-rays in my life but nothing prepared me for a Japanese style X-ray. When I went into the X-ray room I was greeted by the muscular looking man holding a cup of scary looking thick liquid. He smiled and said to me. `Please drink this whole cup of Barium so I can check your stomach and intestines` My first reaction was of course, `What the fuck! I am not drinking that! We use Barium for rat poison in the states!` He did not care that Barium is rat poison and I ended up having to drink a whole cup of that shit!` After I forced myself to drink it he made me hold onto a rotating bed while he got a few live shots of my guts. I felt like pure shit the rest of the day. Matters were made worse by the fact that he also instructed to me take two very strong laxatives to get the Barium out of my system. I thought I would be strong and not shit my pants before making it home. Well, these were pretty strong laxatives and I only made it three stations before the shit in my ass could not wait any longer. I rushed off the train at Akiba station and right into a bathroom at the platform. I suffered though 40 minutes of explosive diarrhea before I was able to walk again.

After finally being able to transfer from JR to TX I must have been the most happy person you could ever see on a damn Tokyo train. It just felt good knowing that I would soon be safe in my home. I am sure that some of the folks on the train noticed that I had just survived a rough morning. It was kind of written all over my face. I remember sitting there thinking that I left the hospital feeling worse than when I arrived. A `health check` has got to be one of the strangest experiences I have had in Japan so far.

I really cannot blame the Japanese for this wasteful and inefficient system. The government and greedy health care industry must take the lion share of the blame for a such a money sucking system. Yeah, I got a pretty full on `health check` but at the same time I was over charged and way too many doctors poked and prodded me. It will be a long ass time before I do that again!        

Advantage of Doing Private English Lessons in Japan

Despite the English speaking level of Japanese people nation wide is pretty low, learning English is still hugely popular. Most Japanese people I run into are either currently taking some type of English lesson or have a desire to learn English. One would think that all the professional language schools would be able to maintain a decent profit. Well, the truth is that most of the language schools in Japan are either not making any money at all or turn only a small profit. Due to the very public meltdown of several Eikaiwa English school over the past several years the Japanese public are a hell of a lot less willing to fork over cash to these types of companies. This does not mean a lot of Japanese have stopped taking English lessons. From a raw street level point of view, I have noticed an explosion in the private English lesson market. The money a lot of Japanese used to hand over to professional language schools are now going to teachers who are willing to do a shit load of private lessons on the side.

Before I go on let me make it clear that unless you are willing to do a hell of a lot of foot work you cannot survive on private lessons alone. You still need a stable job. Currently, you can still get a job as an ALT or Eikaiwa instructor pretty easy(although I don`t how long that is gonna remain true). A lot of companies are being pretty damn cutthroat concerning which teachers they keep and how many lessons per week they give. The ALT racket looks to be on it`s heels with the possibility of JET getting the boot. So, a keen English teacher in Japan better be trying to work on getting him/herself a stock of private students in order to maintain their income a bit. If you are polite and friendly you can usually get between 2,000 and 3,000 yen per lesson in the Tokyo/Yokohama area alone. It may seen like a big challenge to sling English on your own without the convenience of going to work at the language school and having the students walk right though the door. A little more work is involved but it can be done.

There are `placement` companies which, as many of them commonly say, `match the right student with the right teacher.` The real reason these companies are set up is to act as a middle man and exploit the direct exchange of money between teacher and student. These kind of companies can be really helpful. They usually have a website which you create an account on and students have access to view and choose your profile for a `trail` lesson. During the trail lesson a rep. from the `placement` company will be there to do all the sales work for you. If the student likes you then they will sign a contract with the company and schedule the first lesson with you. The student will pay you directly during each lesson. Lessons usually take place at a cafe or sometimes the students home. Here are a few company websites to get you started: enjoylesson.com 7ACT  121sensei.com. The short list I just provided is just a start. After looking around on the net you will find better companies.

Dealing with a `placement` company is not the only option open to a keen teacher. If you really want to get your hands dirty and do it on your own there are a few things you should do. A good idea is to make up a business card stating that you teach private English lessons. Get a shit load of them made up. Give them to everyone who meet. Be sure to put your name, phone number and e-mail on the card. Adding a picture to your business card is not a bad idea as well. Also, some used English book stores are cool about letting teachers put up a flyer offering private English lessons. Be sure to ask first before putting any advert up at a place of business.Another thing you can do is simply get the word out in the street. Be real nice to people and you might be able to score a new student. Be sure to get your Japanese friends to tell their friends you teach private lessons.

That is just about all the advice I can offer concerning getting private lessons. If you can get five or six students you can make about 20,000 extra yen a week. That is a lot of damn money over the course of one month! Hang in there yall. 

There is Still a Line You Know

So judging from the last post it is pretty clear that I am in a mood to say somethings that need to be said. For now, I will leave the Japanese to be who they are. They are human just like the rest of us. They have their good points and bad. In this post I need to talk about folks who come to Japan and think that somehow it has magically become okay to be a raging self-serving asshole. I`m not talking about the regular brand of asshole. The cure for those kind of folks is a good old fashioned broken noise. The kind of asshole I am referring to is those who will do anything to have their cake and eat it too.

While I was living in West Virginia I didn`t come across this unique brand of asshole so often. This is due to the fact that such a person did not live long enough to really cause a lot of trouble. Japan having such a passive mind set allows such assholes to succeed. I have seen many times in Japan people take the opinion that, `Well he is an asshole but he does get things done so it is okay.` I am sorry yall but it is not okay at all. Just because someone can do something well does not mean they get a free pass to bully, play games with people`s lives, and generally fuck everyone over who they don`t like. The kind of person who does the above mentioned things is the exact kind of person I am talking about.

These kind of people look at Japan as a place to exploit rather than a place to be explored. I can be honest and say that I don`t accept everything about Japan but at least I don`t try to exploit everyone living here. There are people I know who I can have a beer with any night of the week yet will have no bones about screwing me over to save their own sorry hides. I deal with a lot of people like that. Sneaky cunts who think that they are the only person of value on the planet earth. Well, I am not going to put up with such shit anymore!

It would be real easy for me to just say `fuck off` to these kind of folks but I know that is not going to work. Any kind of overt resistance they will take it as a challenge. Hell, I have been known to like a good challenge myself. I am the kind of guy who says `Oh yeah, now you`re talking` when a gun is pointed point blank to my head. Yet, my reason for taking such a posture is very different compared to the kind of asshole I am writing about. I take such a posture because I believe that there are situations when you have to out crazy someone in order to prove a point. Although these shitty assholes I am referring to take said posture for the simple purpose of stamping you out and putting themselves on a golden pedestal in order to look good in front of the Japanese. Why would someone do such a childish thing you might ask? Well, as most of us know looking good in front of certain Japanese in certain situations can bring a little extra cash in your pocket and a few extra benefits. For such seemingly small rewards a lot of people are more than willing to fuck you two ways to Sunday. They will do this shit for money, pussy, and position.

So, how am I going to deal with these very special brand of shitty asshole? Usually these dicks pick on something small and make a big deal about it or order to attempt to screw me over. What I am choosing to do is act it is not a big deal to me. This in turns usually leads them to press the issue in a slightly rude way. At that point I have two options. I can either explain things to them in a clear simple manner or stonewall them until they give up. Either way I choose to do things, the one thing these people need to know is I am fully aware what they are up to at all times. There is still a line you know!

I`m Not Crazy, I just live in Tokyo

I guess you reach a point living in Tokyo that you kind of start to fight back. For a long time I gave the Japanese the benefit of the doubt even when no one else would. I still do this to some extent but not like I use to. These days I have simply had enough of people`s shit. I take the stance that `yeah I am not Japanese so get the fuck over it already.` I feel that a lot of Japanese need to grow the fuck up and accept the fact there are actually people living in places other than Japan. Further more these people who are not from Japan have a culture rich in history and do not speak Japanese. Not all Japanese are THAT retarded as to think Japan is the end all of end all but in my experience at least 30% of the population believes it to be true. I could just as easy say the same thing about my mother land America. Yet due to America`s unique diversity the effects are not as extreme as compared to Japan.

So yeah, I have been fighting back. I really don`t live by the Japanese thought process anymore. All of the insane ideas of what a `gaijin` should and should not be just does not fly with me at all. I am not a goddamn monkey. I do not put up with any disrespect from these people anymore. If they want my respect they will have to earn it the good old fashion hard way. I don`t give a damn if they feel Japan is special and the Japanese should get special treatment. They are human just like me. If they fuck with me I fuck with them twice as much right back. If they are nice to me and show REAL respect I will do the same. Now, let me stop for a minute and say that I do not hate Japanese people. I feel they have a interesting culture. At their best the Japanese are polite and caring people. At their worst they are backward and racist compared to the rest of the world.

Let me give yall two perfect examples of the best and worst of Japan.

The best: One time I had been getting drunk in Shibuya. I got pretty damn drunk that evening and ended up missing the last train. After wondering around the area I passed out in front of the now closed HMV. It was a nice warm night and I thought since the damn homeless bums can sleep on the street it would be okay for me as well. I don`t know how long a was sleeping there but I was awoken by a damn Metro cop working the late night beat. He said me to me in Japanese, `Are you okay? I don`t care but HMV get very angry to you for sleeping here. Please drink at bar for first train(Japanese language is hard to translate for me, they really do speak this way)` He did not arrest me or anything. He even showed me an all night bar for me to chill until the trains started running again. He was a really cool dude.

The worst: I had been working in Kamata. It had been a long day of working and I wanted nothing more than to go home and have dinner with my wife. I got to the station and goddammit here comes a fucking cop. He stopped me and demanded I present my `gaijin` card to him(gaijin means outside person. Gaijin card is an id card all non-Japanese are required to carry with them at all times).  I refused of course because I know that by law no cop can ask me for my `gaijin` card without giving a reason. He refused to give me a reason and arrested me. He took me to the piggy box beside the station. For the next 3 hours I was asked a shit load of questions and treated like a common piece of trash. The bastard slapped me a few times and tried to get me to admit to some crime I did not do at all. He let me go when he realized I was wise to his game. That experience has caused me to totally not trust the Metro police. I got the asshole back the very next week. I puked all over the piggy box when they were on a smoke break.

So there is a fine example of the best and worst of Japanese people. I could give some more examples but I do not want this post to drag on. So at this point I cannot and will not put up with any Japanese bullshit at all. With that said, I still enjoy living in Tokyo. I have a hell of a good time on a regular basis. It is just that the Japanese will not fuck with me without getting a fight on their hands.

Fucking Cats In Adachi-Ku!

 I don`t know when it started or how it started but my beloved Adachi-ku has been invaded by cats. For the past several years Adachi-ku Tokyo has been under attack by loud, nasty, hungry, fighting, fuck loving cats! This problem would not be so bad if it was not for the amount of hell this gang of cats are able to produce in just one night. After one night in Aoi you would think that some twisted feline WW3 had started. What do people in Tokyo consider Adachi-ku? Did the Japanese secretly decide to declare Adachi an official dumping ground for all the metro area fucked-up out of control cats?

I have done my best to accept and even befriend our invaders but they are not interested in being friends. These damn cats want to take over I tell you! I can deal with the fighting because sometimes that shit is real funny. What is really driving me up the wall and costing me sleep is the fucking. Cats fuck in the loudest most god awful way possible. It sounds like a gang of demons from hell and ugly Star Trek aliens having a porn quality orgy. Go ahead and let that visual sink into your head for a minute. Now you know what I deal with every night. Cats get pure fucking crazy when they fuck. There is no sense in that shit! By far, cats are the most insane fuckers on this mud ball called earth.

Even though I don`t like these crazy goddamn cats I still have to share the hood with them. So how do I deal with little bastards? I have tried several things to cope. I have tried music, which just distracted my mind even more, and movies which failed to drown out the sound. I got really pissed off one night and threw rocks at the cats. They only left for a few hours and when returned and started fucking again. At this point I am pretty much out of ideas. I am now asking yall what I should do about these no good fuck crazy cats. I need some good suggestions before I go into the street with a bottle of wine and a hammer!        

Japan`s Troubles With Moving Forward

I was looking around Japansoc.com and found an article from TIME on Japan`s slow slide downward. You can read the article here. Anyone who has lived in Japan for a few years should be able to clearly see that this is not a nation which accepts change very well. At times it can appear that it is a nation which lacks the ability to change all together. I try to resist such thinking but it is damn hard when I deal with the ethic majority up close and personal on a daily basis. You know, I have this habit of watching the Japanese pretty close at times.  I try my best to understand what is going on with the ethic majority but they can be a tough bunch to figure out at times. What is certain is that the nation of Japan is in serious trouble on many fronts. It seems that almost every serious problem that could face a highly advanced industrialized nation has befell on Japan.

I don`t think it can be argued that Japan is a nation in serious decline. The aging and declining population is one hell of a problem all by itself. They got a suicide rate that is startling. Japan has the fourth highest suicide rate in the world. The Federal government is in a constant state of either instability or a complete stale mate. Japan has had six prime minsters in four years. On top of these issues is the fact that Japan has a economy that is almost completely stagnant. This nation has so many issues they need to invest in a magazine rack!

Why can`t Japan seem to get it together? They have been in this situation for decades now. Even since the bubble meltdown at the end of the 80`s Japan has seem to have lost it`s mojo. I live and interact with the Japanese on a daily basis and I see a lot of empty pride combined with a kind of collective self loathing. They seem to love themselves and hate themselves at the same time. It is as if they have given up on themselves. When I talk to a lot of them they tell me about a lot of things they want to do but go on to say they don`t have the confidence to actually do it. It is clear that there is a kind of national sadness the Japanese are rolling around in like a pig in shit. Yall every seen a pig roll around in shit? The more a pig rolls around in shit and stinks the more a pig likes it. This seems to be what the Japanese are doing as a whole. The more they stay stuck in this odd national sadness the more they like and accept it as normal.

What can they do to get things back on track?  Well, the aging and decline in population is a bit too far along to fix from inside Japan. It is clear they are gonna need outside help. The solution would seem simple enough. Increase immigration and the number of permanent residents in order to balance thing out a little. What makes that complex is the fact that the ethic majority suffers from extreme xenophobia as a whole. Hell, I have lived in the same neighborhood for years and my neighbors still do not talk to me. If the Japanese do not become more accepting of foreigners and diversify a bit more, the population and work force may very well become unsustainable. 

The suicide thing is very disturbing. It has become so common place that most people are not even phased by it anymore. From my experience when someone throws themselves in front of a train most people don`t even care that a human life has just ended tragically. Most of the people on the train are just pissed that the train is stopped and they are going to be late getting to where ever they are headed. The indifference toward suicide in Japan is something which is not being addressed at all. There are very few outreach programs and people are not encouraged to seek the programs that are available. This problem is more a cultural problem than simply a lack of proper funding of needed outreach programs. The only thing I can say is that they needed to start admitting it is a big problem and talk about it openly.

Overall yall Japan needs a new direction.They need something to fire them up again. So far the government seems to want to spend its time pointing the finger at each other and trying to find ways to make outdated methods work. The people are doing their best to make their way in very uncertain times. The ethnic majority are mostly alright people overall.. They just got some deep rooted problems which have no easy answers. I like living here and am happy to call Japan my home. Maybe things will change for the better in the future. Lord knows the Japanese could use a little inspiration.



   

     

A Tokyo Life: Welcome to the World`s Largest Rat Race

The suns raises at 4:30 a.m. and already the city stirs. There is a man riding around the hood on a loud scooter dropping off the morning paper. A few gals and guys are rolling in from a long night of partying. Old men hobble along the street spitting their guts up while making their way to buy some cheap sake. In a few hours a sudden mind numbing sound makes your ears bleed. Your eyes open and are burned by an already punishing morning sunshine. You smack the alarm clock like a red headed step sister and reach for a pack of Lucky Strikes. Your day has begun.

After a cup of coffee and hacking up something nasty from your lungs it is time to shit shower and shave.The process is the same everyday. You rush to get though the daily personal hygiene ritual in order to have enough time to smoke another cancer stick, suck down another cup of coffee, and check your e-mail. With 20 minutes before you have to catch the train you throw on your suit like a coke fiend; leaving just enough time to fix your hair. You run your ass to the station and get on the train just before the doors coldly shut. The journey to work has begun.

You have to transfer three times to get to the hell hole called a job. The mass of merciless business men and crazed city dwellers push, punch, poke, grab, and cram onto the trains like a pack of starved cannibals fighting over virgin flesh. You are the virgin flesh offered up as a human sacrifice. They are the hungry masses foaming at the mouth. You must fight for your life or be eaten alive before you even get the change to sell your soul the waiting slave master.

You somehow arrive at work in one piece. Everyone is just as pissed off and on fire as you. All of your fellow slaves are hustling to prepare for another day of thankless service to the all power company. Big Brother is watching of course and he loves you dearly. Don`t fuck-up or you will have to be reeducated with a trip to the Hello Work office. As the work day progresses you feel as if you are one day closer to jumping in front of a train; then lunch break arrives. You run away from the place of your torment to the nearest restaurant that serves up food which would make the average person kill over. You eat with joyful glee and stare at the other customers with a cold glare.

When your slave master finally releases you from your daily habit of S&M bondage known as work, you dash to the nearest low down bar to drink until you cannot feel feelings anymore. You have developed the ability to drink and smoke enough poison to kill an African elephant during your time in Tokyo so far. The natives dare not try to out drink you for fear of death by alcohol poison. The waiter always looks at you with a hateful glare when you order the all you can drink option. They not making any money off of you tonight because you always drink enough to get 20 navy boys from Yokosuka drunk.. Somehow you make it out of the bar just in time to catch the last train home. The cannibals are almost as drunk as you hence not as hungry for your virgin flesh. 

When you arrive home you spend a good hour emptying your stomach of the poison which did not manage to infect your body. After which you pass out with you head resting on the toilet seat for a good 30 minutes. You finally make it to your bed when you are awoken by the sounds of a fight on the street; but don`t remember how you managed such a feat. You are at peace for now.