I Think I Have Had a Personal Breakthough

Over the past several weeks something has been trying to burst out from me. Some deeper understanding of, not only who I am, but the very nature of life itself. I have been under such an extreme state of stress and worry recently that something spoke to my inner self. It is as if my entire being has been changing to a different level of understanding. Something just started to change inside of me. Odd as hell I know, but I been feeling different.

It all started when I was bored and watched two different films. The first one was about how Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity. The other was about John Nash and game theory. Both films where documentaries about these two men and their life work. Both of them are pretty much loony as hell but they did discover some pretty amazing stuff.

After getting a good understanding about the theory of relativity, from reading some books, I really felt kind of empty inside. Kind of like I suddenly had this big hole inside of me. The part of me which used to fill up with stress is left empty. I cannot seem to refill my daily need for stress. I have realized that everything is just condensed energy and everyone is connected. It is kind of hard to feel the pressure of stress when I know everyone is connected though the transfer of energy. Maybe I have become more condensed so negatively charged energy cannot be transferred to me. So maybe the trick to being more peaceful is maintaining my energy to be as condensed as possible. Pretty deep stuff for a person like myself but this is where my mind is at lately.

Game theory has also been an interest of mine recently. Game theory is the basis for all modern methods of business and economics. It is all about how to beat the competition by predicting what they will do based on your actions. It can be kind of complex but I got a decent handle on it. It has helped me to understand why a lot of my co-workers do some of the shit they do. For game theory to work in your favor, you must understand what the others players hope to achieve. They will react to your actions based on what they want. The more you understand game theory the easier it becomes to influence people. I am going to put it into practice at work and see how it goes.

Anyway. I think I have had a personal breakthrough. I have realized stress can only effect me if my energy is not condensed enough to resist the transfer of negatively charged energy. I have also realized that people do in fact react to my actions based on their own agenda. What does this all mean? If I keep myself focused on the hear and now I will be much more happy.

The `No Pain Doctor` with Social Health Care

The picture I uploaded to this blog post is the actual social health care plan that Obama is trying to force feed to the American people. Pretty confusing; right? I can only guess as to how much it is going to cost tax payers. I can imagine that Japan`s social health plan is just as big and more than likely cost twice as much as Obama`s plan. None the less, my crazy ass pays into Japan`s social health care plan. I do not do this willing mind you. It is one of those carrot on a stick situations. Either I pay into the social health care so I can get a permanent visa down the road, or not pay it and let the Japanese government give me a hard time later. Well, I have pretty much made Japan my home so here I am paying into this damn social health care crap.

After paying into the system for some time now, I have finally been taking advantage of other people`s money. Over the past month I have been making regular visits to the `no pain` doctor. He is a dentist who promises effective pain free treatment. So far he has lived up to the `no pain` part. Yet I am wondering why every time I go he does very little work in my teeth. It has taken him a month to complete a root canal on one tooth. I am starting to wonder if he is taking advantage of the system. I mean, if I was paying out of pocket I am sure he would not be taking this long. I have had a root canal before and it took only one day to complete. It was much more painful but completed much faster. Due to the social health care system, I have lost the ability to complain about the length of time he is taking to complete work on one tooth. So, I cannot complain much because my in-person out of pocket cost is very low. In the mean time, he is making a killing on the tax payers dime taking his slow ass time to get anything done.

After every treatment he shows me what he did; which is not much. He works on only one small part of the root canal at a time. Why can`t he get the whole damn thing finished in one treatment? Well, I know why. It is trying to make as much money as he can. I guess I will just put up this his little money making game. He is the only Japanese dentist I know who can speak English well enough to communicate with me.

Mr. James and Foreign Darlings

In light of recent discussions concerning the latest McDonald`s Japan mascot, as well as an upcoming movie about a multicultural marriage, it is time I finally sit down and share my thoughts about racism and equality in Japan. I have avoided writing on this subject matter for a long time due to the attitude taken by many on the web towards anyone who brings up racial equality in Japan. It seems that when the above mentioned subject matter is brought up it is met with a boat load of loathing. It seems that racial equality in Japan is a subject which is delegated to jaded foreigners with a beef against the Japanese. Although simply venting a beef may be true in some cases, I believe that there is something deeper going on.

For the most part, it appears that bias towards non-Japanese is a well ingrained part of Japanese culture. I can see this more clearly than others due to my own unique cultural background. I grew up around a fair amount of racial bias. A vain of racism still runs though the culture in Southern American states. Although, racism is not nearly as overt as it has been in years past; it is something southern people struggle to come to terms with to this day. Yet unlike the Japanese, southern people at least try to overcome our short comings concerning racial understanding.

The latest up roar concerning McDonald`s Japan newest mascot `Mr. James` shows me that, for the large part, Japanese people are more than willing to accept racial stereotypes. I think it makes them feel comfortable as a society. The overt racial bias is a way for them to cope with being a unique homogeneous society. It seems to strike them in their own minds that, `We are all the same and everyone else is so different because we are somehow special and therefore on a higher level.` While the above mentioned thinking may seem to be unique to Japan, it is in fact common among other societies as well.

I refer again to my own experiences growing up in the American South. For the majority of the American South`s history it was homogeneous. The people of the south developed their own unique culture and dialect. They also have experienced geological isolation; in a similar way as the Japanese. It was commonly believed in the south, in much less degree today as compared to the past, that anyone not from the south was somehow too different to understand them. As you can see, cultures which are mostly homogeneous in nature and geologically isolated are more prone to develop strong racial bias. While these factors offer an explanation to the overt racial bias in Japan; it does not offer a solution to the problem.

The American South was so-called `opened up` by means of a social and political movement from all elements of it`s culture. The two main winds of change were the civil rights and New South movements. It took a lot of time and effort, yet today the American South stands as a testament to progress in the area of racial equality. While there are still problems, the south has largely been reformed.

Focusing back on Japan, it is clear that such social and political change has yet to get kick started. It seems as if Japan has never had a true civil rights movement. While there have been movements which led to women being able to live a mostly independent lifestyle, certain social groups gaining the ability to be upwardly mobile, and sexual liberation; Japan still lacks any anti-discrimination laws. It seems that gaijin(outside country person) have been kept in a iron clad box throughout Japan`s long and grand history.

Will Japan ever make a serious effort to become a more rascally equal society? It would take not only a major up raising of minorities but also mass support from Japanese people themselves. A dual effort by both factions of society will be ever bring about serious changes in race attitudes in Japan. Until then, Japan will always have `Mr. James` types characters and films expressing just now `odd` a gaijin husband is.

Interesting Summer

It has been an interesting summer so far. A lot of things have happened which have given me great joy and great grief. Yet, I am enjoying the summer of 2009 in Japan very much. I have had some good times so far. Although, it has been a little different from last summer. Maybe even a little tamer in some respects. I have had less all night randomness as compared to the summer of `08. I think my more tame behavior is due in large part to work keeping me in knots; but that is another story all together. It seems as if the god of chaos has decided to have mercy on me over the past few months. This is not to say that he does not toss me around from time to time.

So, I have been granted a little more calmness this summer. It has allowed me to be more reflective about the direction my life in heading. I have taken a good hard good at myself. There are things about myself I now realize others will most likely never accept. I am aware that I sometimes go over board with things. Other times I hold back a bit too much. In most cases this is not an extreme problem. It may be more of a personality clash. I tend to be a little tough at times. I have found that there are a lot of people in Tokyo who are not used my unique type of personality. I find a lot of passive aggressive and uptight personalities in Tokyo. These type of people often struggle to deal with a more rough and tumble person.


While I will not say city people are soft; I would say that city life does make a lot of people much more sensitive at times. Although, I must consider that Tokyo is not in American. Tokyo is in Japan which has a very different culture as compared to the states. Hell, I have witness people freaking out over a guy coming to work without a damn tie on.

Personality I have learned to laugh at the more sensitive members of Tokyo. It has made my summer more interesting. I will tell you something that made me laugh my ass off recently. I am the type of person who can only believe and accept a rule when it makes sense to me. So, I was talking to a co-worker on the phone while riding the train. It was important to talk to him. It could not wait until I was off the train. Sure enough, people slowly started staring at me with a `fuck you` expression. One Japanese guy finally said me, `In Japan it is bad to talk on the phone while riding the train.` My reply, ` I don`t fucking care. This conversation is more important than your stupid rule.` I though he was going to shit a brick. This guy looks at me like I have committed the ultimate sin. I waved him off and he takes the hint. What I thought was funny about the situation, was he was actually under the impression I would submit to him just because he said so. Damn these people need a wake-up call.

Pulling my Time..Handling my Business.

Another day has been fought, while not won, it has not been a losing effort either. I was able to get some much needed business rolling along well. There have been some very interesting e-mails floating around as of late. The kind of stuff which demands attention. I got it taken care of for now. People got contacted who needed contacting. Those who needed a little kick in the butt got kicked. I drudged though the sickness of greed and power plays to finally sit at home typing away on my home PC.

The stress of the day has not worn off completely yet. Hell, in Tokyo one can ever really shake the stress. Although, I do feel slightly relaxed and in far better shape compared to the mid-day balls to the wall rat racing. I drank a big bottle of beer when I got home. It helped a little but by no means was it enough. I would have drank more but payday looms around the corner leaving my wallet hungry for yen. When payday does arrive you may very well find me getting tanked down in the Cho. If the situation is right I may even enjoy the company of fellow drunken corporate dicks and leaches. Rest assured it will be all you can drink for me.

Sunday I must travel slightly outside Tokyo to a little place called Noborito. I have been there a few times before checking out the branch while doing E-vals and training. I never believed it would survive but to my surprise numbers have been up recently. I am not sure if this is due to keen sales or quality instructors but I am pleased all the same. I would really hate to see Noborito go under. We need to keep a decent foot hold in that area anyway. It looks to have a decent chance of becoming a stable branch. Hell, with the way the market is right now anything can happen during the 3rd and 4th quarters.


Yeah, I am pulling my time and handling my business here in our dirty little city called Tokyo. The ups and downs are really tough to deal with sometimes but I manage. Everyday something happens which shakes, and yet, reinforces my resolve to dig out a little life for myself here in Japan. So far, there have been parts of this process which has been far too easy. Although, there have been other parts which have proven to be much harder than I expected.

Another day will start up in a few hours. Maybe I will sleep for a bit. Maybe I will stayed glued to the hyper reality of the internet; catching two hours of sleep before getting ready for work. Either way it will do little to prepare my mind and body for another day of fighting the other bastards out there for a piece of the pie. Only pure will and stubbornness will give me the inner strength to put up a good fight.


The little voice in the back of my head says:

Yes, you are still in Tokyo. No. There is still no rest for the wicked.

The Reality of the Situation Is...

You know, truth be told Tokyo is not an easy place to live. On one hand you live in the largest and perhaps the most modern city in the world; there are many great and wondrous things to experience. On the other hand you live in one the most corrupt,sleazy, and cut-throat cities in the world. I often say to people back in the states, `Tokyo is one hell of a place, You never know what to expect.` The stress of living here day in and day out changes people. Many happy mentally sound people come to Tokyo and become something very different. Maybe its all the readily available sex, under handed business deals, all night drinking bars, the over crowded public transport, corrupt cops, compromised politicians, or eerie isolation which makes Tokyo such a twisted concrete jungle. Yet, there is something about Tokyo which can strip a person of who they are and recreate them into a completely different person.

I read all these blogs that talk about all the cool and odd things in Japan, which are okay, but it is rare for me to read a blog post talking about the raw experience of living in Tokyo. There are many blogs which I enjoy reading. There are some people who put a lot of effort into their blogs. I am impressed by the fruit of their labor. Yet, I wonder about these people`s personal experience of living in Tokyo day in and day out. I guess they are not willing to expose the reality of living in Tokyo. I can only guess as to why many people are not writing about the hard edged Tokyo lifestyle which shapes the micro-culture of the city.

Anyway, Tokyo changes people. This I can say is very true. It does not matter if you are Japanese or Gaijin; this city will recreate you as a person. It is a tough city in reality. There is little room for politeness(unless money is involved). You have got to fight to get though the day sometimes. Everyone is in a hurry and few people care about anything not concerning their own life. A lot of people come to Tokyo with stars in their eyes. They cannot see the grit and hard pressed lifestyle which awaits them. I guess this is why a lot of people leave Tokyo within three years. You have to become a very hard person rather quickly to survive in Tokyo. Many people do not want to do that. They want Akiba weirdness and Harajuku fun time everyday. Once they realize things are not the way they thought; it effects them in a way which does not sit well with them.

They start to get a taste of the unspoken racism and bias which infects the city. At least one landlord will turn them down because they are gaijin. Some whore house down in the Cho turns them away because they are not Japanese. When they pull their first all nighter in Shibuya and realize after hours in Tokyo is even more crazy than they ever expected. Let them go weeks without anyone speaking to them other than for business. Enjoy Cup Noodle and cheap Beer for dinner a few weeks in a row. Spend a few night getting tanked at the HUB. Deal with `unique` personalities from your co-workers in your English school company. Take it all in and bit your lip everyday. Welcome to Tokyo.

As for me, I like this dirty little city. It fits me well. The reality of the situation is...Tokyo is a fucked up place but a hell of a town.

Why it is hard to do Business with the Japanese

To say it is difficult to do business with the Japanese is putting the situation very lightly. Despite what you may think, doing business with the Japanese is like trying to get a lion and a rabbit to have turkey dinner together. The Japanese are the hardest people to work with by far. Some of you may be thinking, `But they are so nice and understanding all the time. They must be real easy to work with.` Truth be told, they are not so nice and rarely understanding. They are nice on the surface and only say they understand the situation. Before you so off on a tangent, please allow me to explain.

There is a common believed myth floating around that the Japanese work together for the greater good of all employees and the company. This is the biggest lie I have ever heard about Japanese society. In a Japanese run company everyone is out to get each other. There is almost no trust, while at the same time, lies and rumors fly around like flies at a slaughter house. It is a cold cut-throat environment which causes many people to develop some serious mental illness; just ask any former Geos J-staff about developing a serious mental illness.

The Japanese tend to micro-manage everything to the point of killing off any room for on the fly decision making and flexibility. They follow `policy` and `procedural` regardless of what the situation may demand. In many cases, I have witnessed Japanese follow protocol even when it is clearly obvious a little outside the box thinking is necessary. More surprising is when someone does bend the rules a little to get something done, their fellow co-workers attack them like sharks. They will try to get each other fired over the smallest misstep. They will go after their boss and anyone else who shows any crack in the armor.

On the corporate level the Japanese are real stone cold bastards. They attempt to make everything personal. In house fighting is common and often resulting in business wars which are the thing of legend. If you get caught in the crossfire there is a good change you are going down. If you get in the way of a power struggle the Japanese will send you to the gallows real quick. They do not care who you are or how much experience you have; if they want what you got they will go to extreme ends to get it. When they realize you have power from within the company it burns them up inside. There will be those in a Japanese company who will always seek to take out the person above them. So sadly, in order to maintain your power and influence you have to play politics with them very carefully.

Overall, I must say the Japanese do keep things interesting. Yet, at the end of the day, all the cold blooded business wars they get caught up in usually results in lost profits and constant pressure and stress. I think if they would just get laid more they might chill out a little.