Saturday, September 5, 2009
Over the past several weeks something has been trying to burst out from me. Some deeper understanding of, not only who I am, but the very nature of life itself. I have been under such an extreme state of stress and worry recently that something spoke to my inner self. It is as if my entire being has been changing to a different level of understanding. Something just started to change inside of me. Odd as hell I know, but I been feeling different.
It all started when I was bored and watched two different films. The first one was about how Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity. The other was about John Nash and game theory. Both films where documentaries about these two men and their life work. Both of them are pretty much loony as hell but they did discover some pretty amazing stuff.
After getting a good understanding about the theory of relativity, from reading some books, I really felt kind of empty inside. Kind of like I suddenly had this big hole inside of me. The part of me which used to fill up with stress is left empty. I cannot seem to refill my daily need for stress. I have realized that everything is just condensed energy and everyone is connected. It is kind of hard to feel the pressure of stress when I know everyone is connected though the transfer of energy. Maybe I have become more condensed so negatively charged energy cannot be transferred to me. So maybe the trick to being more peaceful is maintaining my energy to be as condensed as possible. Pretty deep stuff for a person like myself but this is where my mind is at lately.
Game theory has also been an interest of mine recently. Game theory is the basis for all modern methods of business and economics. It is all about how to beat the competition by predicting what they will do based on your actions. It can be kind of complex but I got a decent handle on it. It has helped me to understand why a lot of my co-workers do some of the shit they do. For game theory to work in your favor, you must understand what the others players hope to achieve. They will react to your actions based on what they want. The more you understand game theory the easier it becomes to influence people. I am going to put it into practice at work and see how it goes.
Anyway. I think I have had a personal breakthrough. I have realized stress can only effect me if my energy is not condensed enough to resist the transfer of negatively charged energy. I have also realized that people do in fact react to my actions based on their own agenda. What does this all mean? If I keep myself focused on the hear and now I will be much more happy.