I'm a bad man: The Shit You Do When you are Poor

Howdy Yall! Yes, I have returned to this blog to crank out from more posts. You know, bring poor is tough. All I have known for the majority of my life is hardcore poverty. When I first came to Tokyo, I was shocked by some of the things a lot of Japanese are unwilling to do in order to survive. Hell, take away their cell phone and it is as if the end world just started to go down. So many people in this city fail to realize just how easy they got it. Maybe that explains why I struggle to relate to others here in Tokyo. A lot of them were born with a silver spoon in their mouth; while I have had to fight for everything I have. I am sure if I took some of them to West Virginia they would die within a week. They just don't know how to survive. In fact, the only group in Tokyo looked down on more than gaijin is the homeless. There seems to be a certain hatred in this city toward anyone who has to fight to survive. While I grew up with the thinking that you should always try to help someone who is struggling, it seems that in Tokyo someone who is struggling should be exploited, taken advantage of and hated. Capitalism Tokyo style takes one of the most cold blooded forms I have ever experienced.

Despite the cold blooded nature of Tokyo, I will never forget the things I have done in the past in order to make it from one day to the next.

Cigarettes as currency
When you are poor there is little difference between being in jail and walking around on the street. The most common form of currency is about the same as well. If you got cigarettes you can get other stuff which you need more than a smooth smoke. I remember trading smokes for all kinds of things. Everything from CD's and porn mags to food and beer could be bought for only a few cigarettes. Hell, in high school cigarettes were even used as protection money. If you wanted to get in the good graces of the current bully, just give him a few smokes everyday and he will keep the other rocks for brains bullies off your ass. I know that sounds crazy but when everyone around you is poor and hard as nails, you have to find something that folks are willing to be nice to you in order to get.

Not allowed to be smart
When you are poor you are not allowed to be smart. What I mean is if I try hard to drag myself out of a life of poverty, most folks will tear my legs off and try to pin me down. No one wanted me to be better than the mass of poverty stricken folks who have nothing to look forward to in the future. If I got good grades in school than I was, 'a nerd who thinks he is better than everyone else.' If I could hold an intelligent conversation about something other than beer, women, drugs or lame ass music then I was,'a uptight asshole who needs to drink more beer and fuck more bitches.'  And finally, if I go to college, expand my mind, and then get the fuck out of America the first chance I got then I was, 'a traitor who has no loyalty to anyone and does not deserve to be an American.' All of those things are what it means to be considered smart in West Virginia. Now, there are exceptions of course. I knew some really interesting intelligent folks back in the mountains. They were the ones I got high with and talked about politics, society and what we can do to make our world a better place to live. I remember each and everyone of those folks who inspired me to reach for the stars and escape a life of poverty. 

Stealing!
If you want to learn how to be a master thief, just ask someone who grew up dirt poor.  From the time I was a little dirty faced boy I knew how to steal. It kind of came natural to me for some reason. Hell, everyone I knew, family included, had stole something right in front of my eyes by the time I was eight. My earliest memory of rogue behavior was one summer in 1987. My grandpa had taken me on his weekly trip into town. He called me his 'shadow' or 'partner in crime' and I did not understand what he meant until that one day in the summer of '87.

We were at the supermarket when he took me around the corner and said, 'Today I am going to teach you the basics of stealing. It will be a useful skill though out your life. Better you learn now than later.' 

The plan was simple, I was to steal a tube a super glue for my grandpa. I had to grab a bottle of superglue, hide it in my pants, go to the bathroom to get it out of the packaging then find a way to head out the door before anyone noticed. Since I was really small back then, I had the advantage of not being noticed as much as an adult. I remember my grandpa providing cover while I stuck the superglue down my pants. I then walked away from him as if I did not know him. I made it to the bathroom and discovered a major problem. One of the workers was in the bathroom shaving and brushing his teeth. There were no stalls in that cheap ass supermarket bathroom. The best they could to was put up thin metal walls between each toilet. I had no choice, I simply started removing the glue from the package. Of course, the guy in the blue work jump suit caught me. Shockingly, instead of dragging me to the managers office he gave me some advice, 'Next time steal something with a plastic seal because they are easier to open.' From that day forward I understood the value of stealing.

Which brings me to my next point

How to steal food and whiskey without(almost) ever getting caught

When you are poor there are two things which are always true: You are always hungry and always want to get drunk. Poverty will drive you to drinking faster than any stressful bullshit here in Tokyo. When you are poor stress is never ending. After a while you accept that being in a constant state of 'fucked' is normal. Both food and whiskey cost money which is hard to come by when you are dirt poor. As you might have guessed, I mastered the art of stealing those magical items at a pretty young age. I had been stealing candy bars and sodas from the time I realized my mother did not have a lot of pocket change to give me. When you are little stealing candy bars and sodas is easy because you are really short and no one notices you reaching for a candy bar and putting it in your pocket. When I got older however, things got really tough and getting enough to eat was sometimes a challenge.

Seeing that the need to eat must be tamed, I came up with a unique way to score extra food. Where I come from, there are small farms scattered around. Nothing too large mind you. Usually folks would keep a half acre or an acre of land set aside for small time farming. Also, it was easy to steal an ear of corn, a few tomatoes or a juicy sweet watermelon. The deal would go down pretty smooth most of the time. I would gather a few buddies up and sneak into a path. One guy would be lookout while the rest of us would grab a few fresh veggies. I only ran into trouble once when I was 15. It was at night and my best buddy at the time and I wanted to steal a big fat ass juicy as fuck watermelon which I had been keeping my eyes on for over a week. When we went to steal it the damn old man growing the melon was on his front patio drinking moonshine. He was a mean old bastard who still kept his pistol with him at all times. My buddy grabbed the watermelon but ran in the exact wrong direction. He came flying out of the patch right into the direct line of sight of that old man. The old bastard fucking flipped! He threw the jug of shine at my buddy hitting him square in the forehead. The blow cracked his skull wide open. My loyal friend melted to the ground. I have never seen someone go down like that. It was like watching the slow motion death of daffy duck on crack. I decided to at least attempt to not bail on my buddy. I ran up on the old man and yelled, 'You just killed my friend! You fucking murdering bastard!' The old fart got nervous and offered me a bottle of shine if I would not tell anyone about the insanity that had just happened. The old man rushed into his house to fetch some shine. By the time he came back, my good buddy was struggling to get on his feet. It was actually pretty damn funny watching that old bastard trying to say sorry because my buddy was so fucked in the head I don't think he knew what was going on at that point. After that day, we decided that supermarkets were a much safer place to steal food from.

Yeah, stealing from supermarkets proved to be easier than stealing candy from a baby. The people who work at supermarkets really don't give a flying fuck what happens to the store. As long as they got a paid check every week, the whole place could be raided by a gang of starved field hands for all they care. I remember walking into just about any supermarket, grabbing anything I wanted, and politely walking out with a shit eating grin on my face. Sometimes one little asshole who was trying to get promoted would yell 'Hay you! Stop! Thief! Thief!' All I had to do was haul ass across the parking lot and off their property. The old grab and run method usually worked every time. Lucky for me, I no longer have to steal in order to survive. Thankfully my thieving days are over.

So now you know some of the shit people do when they are poor. It was actually kind of fun to be poor at times. Although, being poor usually sucked big fat green floppy donkey dicks. At least if I ever find myself dirt poor again, I will know exactly what to do.

I'm a Bad Man: Japan! Don't Fight Drunk Hill Billies on the Train

Howdy Yall! It goes without saying that getting into a fight on any train in Tokyo is a very bad idea. Don't get me wrong, if you gotta fight...you gotta fight. Yet, if you can avoid it, it is best to not fight on the train. There are so many things that could go tragically wrong during a train fight. Hell, getting arrested should be the least of your concerns. Remember, most trains in Tokyo are crowded pretty much at all hours they are running. Only early as hell in the morning, i.e. the first trains, and around 2:00 pm they can be a little lean. Although, the chances that you are going to get into a fight on the first morning train, or just after mid-day, is slim to none. If some shit is going to go down, it is going to happen during the morning commute, the afternoon commute or when everyone is getting shit faced at night. When the train is crowed, a massive amount of bad business can go down. For starters, if you throw a punch and miss, you just might end up socking a women dead in the face. That is not going to end well for you. Secondly, your little fist fight could inspire others to join in the fun. A train car is not a bar. A wild wild west cluster fuck brawl only works in a bar or on the street. Inside of a packed train car, filled to the brim with pissed off over worked Japanese, will end up with a lot people seriously injured or maybe even killed. So yeah, a train fight has many unseen dangers.

Yet, there are still times when avoiding a train fight is easier said than done.

I have had three little 'conversations' on the train. I am not talking about the southern gentlemen polite kind of conversations either. For some reason there is lack of folks willing to dish out a ass kicking in Tokyo. This sad fact explains exactly why there is an over flow of loud mouth assholes who just don't know when to stop while they are ahead. Don't get me wrong, Tokyo is a hell of a town! Yet, with all the nice things Tokyo has to offer, it also brings with it a lot of spoiled fuckers who are so damn self absorbed they actually believe their shit smells like roses. Well, they believe their shit smells like roses, until of course, they meet me.

I am willing to put up with a lot of shit just to get from point A to point B in order to do something I actually like, which is teaching English, and to make some money so I can put food on the table.  The daily crap that goes down on the trains in Tokyo is enough to drive someone over the edge and straight into a murderous rampage. Don't worry yall, I have never killed anyone in Tokyo. Yet, when my buttons are pushed, in that extra special way that only a dickless spoiled Tokyo salary man can do, I will stand by ground.

Now, the first time I had any problems on the train was actually pretty early on in this whole 'living in Japan forever' business. I had finished work early that day and decided to take my gal out for a few drinks in Ikebukuro. We got on the damn Joban line. That train is known for having a lot of crazy fuckers on it daily. Still, I never expect for any crazy asshole to come floating my way.

As we all know, shit gets stupid when we least expect it.

So, I was chatting up my gal when suddenly crazy asshole decided to pay me a visit. Out of no where I heard someone say, 'Motherfucker shut your fucking mouth!' I turned around to see who the fuck was saying such uncalled for comments. Some guy, at least twice my size, was giving me the devil stare while calling me out. To be honest, I was shocked. What the hell did I do to deserve such a verbal attack? So...I ask as much: 'Dammit buddy. Are you okay?' The following exchange went down as such.

Crazy asshole: 'I will be okay when you shut the fuck up!'
Tokyo Ghost: 'Now look here...I don't know you and besides I was not even talking to you'
Crazy asshole: 'You just shut the fuck up before I fuck you up...white boy'
Tokyo Ghost: 'I think your mouth is writing checks your ass cannot cash, buddy'

He gets right in my face and goes for the stare down. I actually had to look up at him to engage in the stare down(yeah, he was bigger and taller than me). I think every Japanese on the train was scared shitless of what was unfolding. He wanted to fight me so bad he could taste it. All I could say was, 'If you wanna brawl on this damn train I will, but know that we will both go to jail for this stupid shit.' I guess he came to his senses because at the next station he got off the train and said, 'I will be watching you' Whatever the fuck that meant.

The second time crazy asshole found me on the train was one time when I was way too drunk to even be on the train. It was summer in Tokyo. Yall know what summers in Tokyo are like, right? It was a hot summer night and I wanted to have a few beers on the street with some drinking buddies. So, of course I got hammered like a jackass. I actually had to have my buddies help me to the station. I must have been a pretty sad sight. Yet, an evening of drunken gaijin hijinks was not over for me.

I was somehow able to get on the damn train just fine. The only problem was there were no empty seats. A drunkard needs a seat while on the train. Standing up on the train will only piss the drunkard off and cause him to lose whatever since of civility he had left.

And sure as shit someone had to fuck with me.

I called up my gal for a very special drunk dial. My plan was masterfully thought out. I called her up and started ranting on about fucking rabbits on the train. She thought it was damn funny, but some hardened fella standing across from me did not share in my humorous drunken madness.  I get a very hard tapping of a finger on my shoulder. When I turn around he shakes his finger at me and tries to take my phone. Drunk hill billy logic made quick order out of the situation: Man laid hands on me-man tried to steal from me-time to get some shit started! The Redneck came out of me so damn quick I am sure the guy damn near shit his pants. I totally lost my cool. I started shouting some mad crazy shit while I had him pinned up against the damn train door. I think it went something like this, 'Motherfucker! You laid hands on me! What the fuck...are you retarded? And you tried to rob me! Fuck you! You dirty little Jap bastard! I should kill your sneaky Jap bastard ass!' Before any of you give me shit for behaving in such a manner....I know that was really fucked up. I should have never said that shit to that guy nor should I have pinned him up against the train door. But....fuck him! He had it coming. It is always a bad idea to mess with a drunk hill billy on a train in a large metro area. Almost every human on the planet knows the above fact is very true except the Japanese it seems. Yet, don't worry because I honestly felt like a total prick the next day. That guy got the raw end of the deal simply because he was Japanese and did not understand how the outside world works at all. Did I feel bad about it? Yes. Should I have mercy in the future? I should but I will not. The only way to make Japan a stronger nation is to stop feeling sorry for them and always showing them mercy.

I should have learned my lesson after that little drunken explosion. Sadly, one more thrown down needed to take place before I realized it is highly advised to maintain your shit while on the train.

This one actually happened early last summer. My stress level had started to get out of hand during that time. None the less, it was still fun to thrown down a few cold ones with co-workers to blow off steam. This was also before it had finally sunk into my head to stop getting hammered drunk so much. I took one of my few trusted gaijin co-workers, along with two young gals who work in the company, out for a night of getting wasted. This was bad to start off with because I was the only one who did not have to work the next day. I should be better than to take my co-workers out and get them wasted all night knowing full well they have to work the next day. The hell with it! They are big boys and girls and know exactly what they are getting into. Anyway, it was a crazy drunken night and some things went down I would rather not repeat.

The really crazy part did not happen until day break.

I said farewell to my co-workers and hoped on the train. I was standing on the train half drunk, tired, wearing jackboots, boot cut jeans and a free Tibet T-shirt on. Yeah, I looked like a real class act. It was very clear that the best thing to do was leave me be. Yet, Japan would just not have it that way. Some fat ass middle aged salary man just had to be a prick at exactly the wrong time. The guy started snorting at me and saying 'drunk gaijin go home.' I was not in the mood to deal with that sort of thing at 6:30 am. I tried my best to brush him off but he started getting louder and louder. All I simply said was,'Nani?' His genius response,'You a drunkard. Go home.' We quickly started arguing about my legal status for living in Japan. It got heated pretty quick. I finally got tired of this racist B.S and told him to get up and do something or leave me the hell alone. And you know what? He actually got up and tried to do something about my gaijin ass living in his nation. Sadly, the damn guy had the fighting ability of a 16 year old J-girl. He started waving his arms around in an attempt to slap me. I started decking him in the face until he decided to sit the fuck down and chill out. After he sat back down, with blood coming from his mouth, he just kind of looked at each other with black heart stares. That little live action social warfare was something no one of that train expected to see before 7:00 am. Again, I scared the shit out of everyone on the train. The funny thing about the whole stunt was that he got off at the next station and everyone else acted like nothing happened. Japanese are always good for keeping a secret when you really need them to keep something on the down low.

After that last fucked up train action I swore to myself to not get into anymore shit on the train. Fighting on the train is not good and should always be considered unacceptable. Point blank: Don't do it! Just because I have done it does not mean everyone else should also do it. Although, it will forever be hard for me to shame anyone else for train fighting because my hill billy ass is guilty as sin.


There is only one positive thing about my days on the train fighting circuit: Japan has learned to never fight hill billies on the fucking crowded Tokyo trains.

I'm a Bad Man: But I Don't Gun Down Angels

Howdy Y'all. I have never really considered myself to be a 'good guy.' A lot of people tell me what a good guy I am but in my own mind I know things about myself that they don't. When I look back on my life so far, I sometimes find myself thinking 'Damn! Did you really do that...oh yeah you really did do that.' Some of those things I did for my own sick pleasure, while other acts of madness were carried out for my own survival. When you are born into dirt poor Hill Billy poverty, you learn pretty quick that morality can be relative sometimes and a good man really is hard to find. I remember growing up being told by everyone, except my mother, that there was nothing good about me. I was a dirt poor piece of redneck trash in most people's eyes and there was no two ways around changing their minds. So, yall can guess what it was like growing up in such an environment. I am surprised that the grown man you see in the picture to your left has made it this far.  Yet, I have to come to terms with my background. So let's start to deal with it, shall we?

My daddy partying with his buddies while holding my sister

Guns were apart of my daily existence from a very young age. There were men carrying guns around me daily. I really did not know the idea of 'gun totting America' as the Japanese media loves to proclaim until I started to venture beyond the mountains. It was not uncommon for my house to have a gang of hard working, poker playing, beer drinking, gun packing bad asses hanging around. I remember seeing just about every type of gun one could think of by the time I was 12. For some damn reason all of them liked to show me how to use all those guns. I was damn near a fire arms expert before I entered Junior High. My mother hated the idea of me playing with guns all the time but there was not much she could do about it. It is not an easy task to tell hardcore mountain men to stop giving the kid guns to play with. The first time I actually shot a gun must have been when I was about eight years old. My daddy was drinking with his buddies and one of them had a common .45 on him. One of the guys bet my father that I could not shoot a 40 of malt liqueur off of a dog house about 15 feet away from the door. Out of stubborn pride, my father took that bet. I was so excited that I popped off too many shots in a row and ended up shooting the 40 and the guys front driver side wheel of his near by pick-up truck. I think they got into a fight over that little stunt I pulled. So yeah, guns were apart of daily life for me.

But as we all know, playing with guns are fun until something fucked up happens. 

Fast forward to my freshmen year in university. As you can expect, the college crowd did not take well to my hill billy ass. My college buddies ended up being outsiders and foreigners who were a bit too different to be accepted by my fellow Americans. I did not mind my buddies much because they liked to create a little hell on earth just like I did. I made friends with a Russian guy from St. Petersburg. No one really liked him because he was VERY Russian and did not give a fuck what anyone thought about him. We used to buy MD 20/20, get drunk as fuck, and then throw firecrackers at each other. Yeah, we were into that kind of fun.

Anyway, the first time I returned home was for Thanksgiving break. I was dating a chick from India at the time so she was coming home with me. Yuri soaked around campus a week before because none of the host families would take him in for the break because they were scared of him; and for good reason. So, I told him if he would give Sheela and I a ride to my house he could stay with me over Thanksgiving break. I had no idea at the time how much of a bad idea that would turn out to me.

The first night should have been a warning sign that it was going to be a fucked up week. When we arrived at my house Sheela was tired so she went to sleep. I called up a few buddies, got Yuri high off some weed, and took him to a high school football game. He fell in love with American football. He was yelling at the players to 'kill each other you American bastards' and trying to pick a fight with the line ref. Everyone was giving us the 'die you commie fuckers' look the entire time. Yuri did not give a fuck and was singing the damn Russian national anthem at half time. We were lucky to get out of there alive. And that was day one...

During the course of the next few days the four of us, my father included, developed a taste for cheap Tequila, arguing about everything and fists fights(the fights were was mostly my father and I after Sheela pissed him off). Yeah, we were having a good old fashioned West Virginia good time. 

It was all fun and games until one night Yuri got drunk and wanted some pussy.

On the first day I told Yuri that the guy who lives on the hill across the road will let you fuck his wife if you give him some pills. I said that as a joke but Yuri thought I was serious. One night Yuri got more drunk than usual and decided it was time to get his fuck on.  He still had some Xanax he had bought from some wigged out science major. He grabbed the bottle of Xanax, my dads condoms, and as he marched out the door proclaimed, 'I'm going up hill to trade pills for man's wife.' My dad had long ago passed out, Sheela was high off her ass, my fat ass gay cousin so too drunk and I was left to try and stopped Yuri. I tried to talk him out of it but he just kept saying, 'Good loving for good pills' and knocked me on the ground several times. I finally gave up and said to him,'fine you crazy Russian motherfucker, if you wanna get killed tonight go night ahead.' We all just waited for the gun shot to break the silence of the night.

They spoke loud and with confidence.

Yuri: Ryan said you will trade pills for the fucking of your wife? I am here to make trade.
Angry Redneck: What the fuck are you!?
Yuri: I am Russian and I come to fuck your wife! Where is she? 

A few minutes later....BOOM! 'You Russian commie bastard! Get off my land before I kill you!'

The boom sound came from the business end of a double barrel pump action shot gun. The death threat came from a man named Randy; and he was pissed the fuck off.

Yuri came rolling back to my house as cool as a penguin. He kicked open my door and coldly said, 'Where is gun? Time for American asshole with slut wife to die!'

He went right to the gun case and picked out a truly classy weapon; a rifle which had not been properly cleaned for about a year. He also grabbed a box of bullets and started to head out the door. At that point I had to stop his crazy ass from going on a murderous rampage. As Yuri was loading the gun I hit him square in the jaw, but that only dazed him. I hit the bastard again with a good old fashioned Irish upper cut and he was down for the count. It was then that I noticed that Sheela and my fat ass gay cousin had been watching the scene unfold with a look of pure horror on their faces. They looked like they had just watched a zombie take a bite out of someone. If the whole situation had not been so fucked up, I might have started laughing at them.

Seeing that Yuri was pretty much out cold, the three of us want out back and smoked a joint. We thought it was all over...but Yuri was not finished yet. When we heard his Ford Bronco start up and kick up gravel as it hauled ass out of the driveway I simply gave the fuck up. He was sure to get himself killed one way or the other. Yet, to my surprised he return within 30 minutes with some very special friends. Yuri's new friends were four cops cars and eight pissed off cops. They circled his Bronco while one of them shouted, 'One of you Smith's come out here and claim this son of the bitch.' I was the only Smith in the house who was smart enough to deal with those cops. Dad was passed out and my fat ass gay cousin was too much of a pussy to talk to the cops. I came outside and said, 'I am a Smith. What the hell did he do?'

The lead cop took me to the side and very smoothly said, 'I don't know were this guy is from but he is fucking crazy. One of our officers was on traffic duty and that bastard tried to hump the damn hood of the officers car. Now you look here Smith boy, You lock him up in a room and do not let him out until he sobers up. If we catch him out again tonight we will take him to the station and you know what will happen there. Do you understand me you little Smith asshole?'

I agreed and they cut Yuri loose. I told Yuri to go pass out in my room. I made sure to lock the damn door behind him. From that day forward he forever became known as the Yuri the redneck Russian.

As unbelievable as this tale seems, I can assure you that it is all true. I cannot make this shit up.

My life is much more mellow how compared to my days living in the mountains of West Virginia. Which is most likely why I have damn near lost my mind here in Japan. Being a good guy who is so damn polite is not easy when you come from the kind of place I have. The social pressures of Japan have damn near broke me but I am sure most people in Tokyo could never handle West Virginia.

This is the first in a series of posts about my background. I need to comes to terms with what made me who I am today. It will switch from my life in West Virginia and here in Japan. I am sure you will find these post to be entertaining and enlightening.

A Sexless Rebellion in Japan? Japanese are Refusing to Fuck.

Howdy Yall! We have all heard of Japan having many 40 year old virgins who don't even know what a pussy looks like. Hell, on a day when I am more keen than usual I can damn near pick them out from a crowd. It is usually the guys who sit on the train as if they have something stuck up their ass. You know, the ones who have man purses and the facial expression of a bright eyed women. The guys who are so timid that it seems as if they cut off their own balls and sold them to some pervert in Akiba. The Japanese refer to these types as herbivore men. They choose to give up on sex, or any romantic relationship, and instead focus on meaningless hobbies and self absorbed lifestyles. They are even known to develop very bizarre fuck buddy partnerships with sex dolls. Yet, what is not being asked is why so many Japanese are rejecting to engage in the time honored tradition of fucking like rabbits? 

I gave the some thought as to the reason why Japan is giving up on sex, after watching a recent TYT report about a survey that
found 36 percent of males age 16 to 19 have zero interest in sex and even despise the idea of getting their fuck on. To be honest, my first reaction to this was 'Dammit Japan! What the hell is your damn problem?' I mean really, how do you manage to create an entire generation of young men who are trading fucking girls for fucking lifeless sex dolls and dating girls from video games? To say the least, I had to think about this one for a bit. Considering that I live in Japan and interact with the society daily, my answer to the question at hand draws on my direct experience with the Japanese people and their current modern society.

To my mind, I think the youth of Japan, as well as many 20 and 30 somethings, are rejecting sex and reproducing, as a means of rebellion in a society which leaves little room for overt individuality  or social change. Of course, though means of mass commercialism and consumerism , it would seem that there is plenty individual self expression in Japan. Yet, after living here for a while it is clear to me that people are forced fed a form of, not only individuality, but also sexuality which just does not feel natural to them.

Think about it y'all...

From a very early age most J-guys are fed the idea that they should carry a be cool, I don't give a fuck, bad asses, you should be stubborn as a mull and treat women like sex object which serve, at most, as social status kind of attitude. To be married to a hot women who will crank out babies and treat their husband like a little boy, is the image most J-guys are told to have of women.If you are a J-guy who wants more out of a close relationship with a women, you are pretty much left with few options for a partner. No wonder more and more J-guys are saying, 'screw it! I don't want anything to do with any of these dumb ass chicks.'

And speaking of the ladies, the situation does not get much better.

According to the recent survey reported on by TYT, almost 60 percent of girls between the age of 16 to 19 have zero interest in sex. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was a teenager the girls carried just as much of an aggressive attitude towards sex as the guys. Hell, I was hit on by more girls than I hit on myself. During my high school days, it did not take much to get a blowjob. It become very clear to me pretty early on that America is a nation of lovers. Although, sexuality has often been used as a form of rebellion in the USA. Yet, here in Japan the lack of sexuality is used as an act of rebellion. Women in Japan are forced into being nothing more than sex objects as soon as possible. I mean, just look at all the perverts in Japan going crazy over very young girls in school uniforms. I think most people are aware of the rape club scandal at Wasada University.If you want to get a wolf like reaction out of men in Japan, simply mention school girls. It seems to be universally accepted that school girls(either jr/high school or University) are sex objects. No wonder the younger generation of Japanese women are rejecting their own sexuality. Just think of what it must be like to walk knowing full well that you school uniform is viewed as something to make you a sex object.

Does Japanese society offer these young men and women other options to express their sexuality in a natural manner. Of course not! So, these high numbers of young people rejecting sex all together in order to develop a personality and identity which is not forced fed to them based solely on their sexuality should not be surprising.

What all of that said, Japan still needs to fuck. They have a population which will decrease by 1/3 by 2060. This is a serious problem which Japanese society refuses to address. Japanese need to be able to express and explore their own sexuality without being forced to view each other as sex objects.

A sexless rebellion is not the kind of rebellion which will benefit the nation at all. It is turning the nation into a gang of sexless self absorbed uptight assholes who will destroy Japan unless the powers that be give up their tight grip on the culture.

Dammit Japan! You really need to fuck!

OBEY! Or You Cannot Live in Japan

Howdy Yall! I think most of the world knows that Japanese are a controlled and repressed people. It is also common knowledge that it did not take military on the street or public beatings to achieve a modern society of slavish worker drones. All that was needed was good old fashioned propaganda and mental intimidation. Government and business in Japan have done a very good job of scaring the living shit out of the people of Japan. I can say with full confidence that the hard working people of Japan are brainwashed to the point that most of them are scared of their own shadow. This has been the situation long before I arrived on the shores of the land of the rising sun; and will continue to be true for years to come.

Yet, Japan should know that I don't have to play ball.

In fact, whenever I am given the chance I will support any resistance any Japanese citizen gives to a system which has made them weak mindless drones. I did the same thing in American so there is no point for me to change now. Americans are also brainwashed, but in a very different way. Many Americans are brainwashed to accept ultra violence, endless war, hate, greed and increasing government control over their lives. This is a fact about American society which many Americans will refuse to ever admit. Ask your average American about America and they will give you this fantasy image of a free peaceful society in which everyone has total rights under the laws of liberty. That is a fucking lie! America is a fascist war machine which pretends to be a democracy. Yet, so many American Ex-pats living in Japan dare not expose the truth to the Japanese people. They just cannot come to terms with the fact that American society might be just as brainwashed as Japanese society. Well, as you can tell I hold no fantasies about my native nation. With that said, Americans are also some of the most outgoing and friendly people on the planet. Yes, I love American culture but have no love for the fucking government.

While many Americans are indeed brainwashed, Japanese have had their minds beaten into the mud by the shit kicking jackboots of social conformity racial harmony. That is some heavy shit to deal with daily so I have nothing but empathy for Japanese people. Yet, there are times when you must say 'fuck all that. Something is wrong and I will not put up with it anymore.' It is very rare in Japan for folks to stand up and resist social and political dogma; but it does happen. I have seem it with my own eyes. A perfect example of this is Occupy Tokyo. I know what you must be thinking, 'The Occupy movement in Tokyo? I thought that was a bunch of spoiled college kids and lazy do nothings.' Come on now! You are smarter than to believe such propaganda. There in fact a Occupy Tokyo and they do in fact have very clear goals in mind. The Japanese media has engaged in a total blackout of a group of Japanese who want nothing more than actual democracy and a nuclear free nation. I have not only met with Occupy Tokyo but have also stood by them and marched by their side. They are a very different breed of the Occupy movement. They make their goals very clear: no nuclear power and no TPP(Trans-Pacific Partnership). They get harassed daily by the extreme Japanese right-wing fascist  group known as the Uyoku Dentai. The police attempt to place pressure on the group to leave the area of the METI building they currently occupy. Yet, they remain in solitary fighting and resisting in a nation which standing up for yourself is considered to be the ultimate sin.

While it is true that 'to obey' is an easy way to survive in Japan, it is much better to stand up for yourself on this little island nation. Life may be a little harder and you will have to deal with the massive social pressure to sit down and shut up. You will, in the end, make yourself and Japan a stronger society and nation.

If you are able, head on over to Occupy Tokyo in front of the METI building in Tokyo. Meet with them and stand by them. They are a rare example of people standing up for themselves in Japan.        

You Can Sleep When You are Dead

Howdy Y'all! So, there has been an odd side effect of a mental breakdown that I have not been dealing with. In fact, I have pretty much chosen to play it off and hope it goes away. Despite my best efforts, it just will not go away. I think my body has forgotten how to sleep. I know that sounds crazy, but it sure as hell feels like my body has simply forgotten how to maintain a steady sleep pattern. I have experienced this kind of thing before but not like it has been over the past few months.

During my college days, I was known to operate on very little sleep. It was not uncommon to see me show up for class looking pretty ragged out. I would stay up and either study or do drugs for days on end. It freaked folks out sometimes. I remember once I showed up for a creative writing class to recite a short story I had wrote. I looked like the walking dead. My eyes were totally blood shot and my jeans actually had blood on them(bloody jeans due to cutting the shit out my face while shaving before class). I recited a story I had written while on a all night Jack Daniels and weed bender. Everyone in the damn class, including the teacher, just stared at me with a look of horror as I recited a story about a guy who could not remember if he was alive or dead. I pretty sure the entire situation scared the living shit out of everyone. Damn teacher even asked me what as up after class. I told her the cold dirty truth, 'I was up all night smoking weed, drinking jack and writing this story.' She never asked me about my personal life again.

But that was then and this is now....

Now, the cause of my inability to drift off into dreamland is a bit different. One of the side effects of Bi-polar is something called cycling. Cycling causes you to not sleep. This sucks a big green donkey dick but facts are facts sadly. I have been trying to find a way to force my body into a somewhat regular sleep pattern but so far nothing has worked. I usually end up rolling around in the bed for hour after hour until I give up. It is not a constant problem. Sometimes I will be able to sleep pretty well for about a week or two before this shit flares up again. It kind of comes and goes.

I have pin pointed what causes my body to lose a regular sleeping habit. When something happens which I cannot resolve emotionally, my mind just gets stuck in a loop trying to work things out in my mind. Since I am a man, my chemical make up makes my mind attempt to rationalize every damn thing. Unfortunately, my emotions flow free like an untouched river hidden deep in the Appalachian Mountains. So, I can slip into a mental freeze up a bit easier than I really desire. I can compare it to pulling off a balancing act at a circus while tripping your balls off on some mushrooms. It will take some time for me to convince my since of logic that it really is just all in my head.

So, I might as well take advantage of the situation. This whole lack of sleep things actually increases my creativity. My writing is a bit more on point and I can get some pretty deep, and bitch ass long fucking time to read, research done. The kind of things I research tend to take a hell of a lot of time to read though and digest. I can also complete a few things I was looking forward to in some crazy ass computer game I should have never gotten hooked on in the first place.

Although, I should not consider the advantages to be so positive. Not being able to maintain a regular sleep pattern is nothing to take lightly. I will have to come up with a plan to limit these manic periods. I am sure it will fuck up my head and body in the long run. I will give this some thought in dream land as I am finally starting to feel sleepy. If I can get about five hours of sleep I will be just fine for another twisted day in Japan.

What do all of you suggest? Better yet, have any of you experienced something similar? Feel free to share your own experiences with lack of sleep as well as suggestions.

We All Live in A Gaijin Bubble...And We All Hate Each Other For It!

Howdy Yall! I got your attention with the title of this post; didn't I? So recently, I mentioned the Gaijin Bubble in a post and it got some unexpected reactions. It seems few people like to be referred to as living in a Gaijin bubble in Japan. Apparently, the term 'gaijin bubble' is viewed as a negative term among my fellow gaijin. Yet, the truth of the matter is that almost all of us are living in a gaijin bubble. 

I am damn sure what caused the knee jerk reaction was the simple fact that I did not include myself as living in a gaijin bubble. I can understand that; really I can. Gaijin can have just as much of a tight net community as the Japanese can. If someone implies, 'I am not one of you,' of course a strong reaction might be coming. Well, I can assure you that was not my intention at all. In fact, if it is not clear enough by now, I am a fucking gaijin. I am most likely a classic example of a white bread trailer trash gaijin you will ever come across. Despite my best efforts, I still fail to be accepted as being a part of Japanese society. Yet, I still give it my best shot anyway. And this brings me to why I am writing this post. To my mind, all of us are living in a gaijin bubble due to two very key reasons. First, we are silently excluded from Japanese society. Secondly, due to the silent exclusion, we look to find kinship with other gaijin who are also excluded from Japanese society. And one of the things none of us will ever admit is that, deep down inside, we have a sort of hatred and love for each other. I know what some of you may be thinking, 'What the fuck is this hill billy from the mountains of West Virginia talking about?' Well, please allow me to explain in more detail.

Okay. First we need to get this whole silent exclusion thing explained. I know that a lot of us try damn hard to speak the language, learn the basic mannerisms, grow to love the food and all that jazz. Yet, you and I both know that we will always be viewed as gaijin. This is a cultural fact about Japan. It is something almost everyone knows about but few people will admit. So, maybe I am the first one to say this fact openly. Though, most Japanese don't want to be rude about it so they practice a silent exclusion as to avoid making gaijin feeling more awkward then we already do. In my experience, when you get too close to being a 'insider' as opposed to being an 'outsider,' Japan will back away from you and simply shut you out. This is the truth and most people know it.

Alright, we got the whole silent exclusion out of the way. Now, let's mention the kinship thing a bit.

It is only natural for someone to seek out kinship when they are being marginalized. You want to buddy up with people who are going though the same struggle as you. This is natural and healthy. In fact, it is very important part of living in Japan as a gaijin. You must have at least a few buddies who will not drive you insane. I have my little gang of gaijin buddies I run with and I am sure most of us do as well. I also have a little gang of Japanese buddies I run with, but of course it is not the same(we call ourselves the dirty Adachi gang just for kicks). Rolling with each group is a very different experience. When I am with my gaijin buddies the kinship is so clear that it seems as if we have known each other from birth. Yet, at the same time there is an unspoken level of aggression which could turn ugly at any moment. Some of you may have seen me interacting with one or two of my gaijin buddies and the aggression must be funny and scary at the same time. That is were the hate factor comes into play.

Oh yeah! Gaijin do in fact hate each other to a certain extent. It is very rarely talked about but it is there all the same. There is a feeling among many gaijin, myself included, that we must never take a shot at each other for any given reason. Even when we fuck each other over, it seems that if we air that shit out in the open it is considered the ultimate of sins.  Everyone's ego and pride must be protected like a 16 year old's masturbation habit.  Don't believe me, try it for yourself. Call someone out on their shit and you will witness a fire breathing dragon of hate which will rival the likes of even this guy. So yeah, there is always an unspoken level of hate and aggression just under the surface of most gaijin kinship.All that said, I do have a few buddies who I don't feel any aggression toward. I can only think of one or two.

Alright, now that I have explained what I mean by a 'gaijin bubble' in great detail, I hope you found this post very interesting. I am a very social person so maybe I notice these more than other people. I have been guilty of everything in this post at least once. At the same time, I don't like most of the things I mentioned in this post; this post is simply what I have experienced. I am sure the comments section of this post might get a little hot, but that is alright by me because somethings need to be talked about openly. Let's make the most of this opportunity to discuss a few things we don't normally get the chance to talk about. Maybe you see things a bit differently, so please express yourself. And remember, I love you all very deeply.