Do you ever feel the need to do something totally against your nature? You know, take a trip outside of your `normal` self just to see what would happen. Everyday I am the same rotten bastard, trying to beat out all the other rotten bastards, for a pocket full of money and some cheap thrills. After running the rat race for a while, it is hard to tell the difference between good and evil. At times, it seems as if most people remain in the gray area between light and dark.
As most people go though their life blind to anything past the tip of their noise, I cannot get rid of this itch in the back of my head. I find myself pondering the same question day in and day out; `What the hell is wrong with everyone?` As I go to work everyday, I fall into the same endless sea of working stiffs that blankets the city in conformity. Business suits and grim expressions line the streets, trains, and just about every other spot fit for humans. People on the streets rarely look at each other, when they do it is usually only to say `excuse me` or to make some unsavory offer. The trains can be even worse at times. It seems as if almost everyone is out for themselves. While, I am not saying that looking out for number one is bad, I see all too often people take the `me against the world attitude` a bit too far in Tokyo.
There are times when I just want to shake some life into people. I want to force feed them a good dose of what is happening around them. How does a person go though life totally self absorbed and blind to all the joys human society has to offer? I have a hard time understanding the thinking of a lot of people living in Tokyo. I have met so many people who could not see past the tip of their noise. In their mind, they are always right and everyone else is wrong. Drinking with these types is an exercise in tolerance at the least.
Anyway, the feeling to journey outside of my normal way of doing things has been nagging at me as of late. I think I just need to break out of the rat race for a little bit. I am going at full steam right now. I guess I am feeling a little overworked and stressed out. I can keep this pace for a while longer, but I am going to have to plan some down time in the near future. I am starting to feel as of I am living too far in the gray area of life. I am not comfortable being apart of the masses of white collar workers slaving away day after day. I see the dangers of working all the time. I fear that I might lose myself in my work. So, I have decided to plan a light schedule in the next few weeks. It looks to be around the middle of February. I know that I will go a little crazy during the extra free time I have planned for myself. Yet, I need to go crazy sometimes.
As this blog post, with very little direction or purpose, comes to a close I will keep my head up high as the rat race beats down on me. I got something to look forward to so that will motivate me to keep trucking. I still love Tokyo and look forward to waking up everyday in the greatest city in the world.