Monday, October 5, 2009

How Did English Teachers Get Such a Bad Rap?


I have read and heard so much about how English teachers in Japan are `scum ball losers who drink all the time, make trouble all the time, and sleep around all the time.` It seems a lot of folks out there love to talk shit about English teachers in Japan. It seems to be a favorite pass time of many; both on the net and in real life. I have read many `articles` about how bad examples of human beings English teachers in Japan are these days. Some people even go as far as to say that there are very few `good` English teachers in Japan. Some folks say things like: `English teachers in Japan are lazy good for nothings`,`They are just getting paid to speak their native language`, `English teachers do not teach they entertain.` These are just a few of the comments I have come across.

In truth, I have not seen so much proof to back-up the reputation which many wish to place on English teachers in Japan. Many teachers like to drink and have a good time but most people like to do such things. In Tokyo for example, most people like to get a good and drunk on a regular basis. In fact, I see more crazy drunk Japanese than I do gaijin.

Everyone has their crazy stories. Maybe the difference is gaijin are more willing to share their life experiences than Japanese people. Japanese do plenty of crazy shit in the name of having a good time. They seem to keep much more quiet about it than gaijin. A Japanese women, for example, will go out and get into all kinds of crazy shit and not tell anyone about it. They will show up to work the next day like nothing happened. They tend to play it cool. The same goes for Japanese men.

So, English teachers do crazy shit and do not try to hide it so much. If an English teacher goes out and gets drunk as a skunk and hooks up with some gal you will know it the next day at work. If he does not tell you will know by his behavior. He will be a little slow and maybe even smell like the gal he spend the night with. As long as he does he job, I do not understand why people give him any shit for what he does outside of work. What a teacher does outside of work is his/her own business!


Sleeping with Students:

Okay. This is something which gets much more attention when it should. Yeah, it does happen sometimes. I do not condone it. A lot of people say it is a bad idea. They usually give professional reasons and job security as explanations. There is another side to this issue which most people do not talk about as much.

There is a much more deeper reason for avoiding sleeping with your students than losing your job. Students talk to each other about the teachers. They spread rumors faster than staff could ever dream. Once you sleep with one student, the rest of them will know about it real quick. How is this a bad thing? Well, Japanese do not like teachers who sleep with students! It will cost you, not only lessons, but also number of students per-lesson. You know what that means: less money for you! Although this is not the major reason gaijin English teachers have got a bad rap.

I am going to go ahead and say it now: it is because you are not Japanese. It is one of the those situations in which you are damned if you do and damned if you don`t. If you dress in a good looking suit and teach English decently well, be prepared to have shit talked about you by Japanese and fellow gaijin alike. If you become really good at teaching English the flood gates of shit talk will never end.

So, how did English teachers in Japan get a bad rap? It is because the majority of people in Japan want them to have a bad rap.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

What is in a Gaijin`s Mail Box?



After you properly establish yourself in Japan you will start to get mail. When I say `properly established` I mean a decent apartment(not a guest house), have all the utilities turned on, cell phone service etc. So, what kind of mail can you expect to get? Well, that depends on what you consider to be mail.

I get a lot of stuff from pizza places. I guess this is because I order pizza enough to get my address added to their mailing list in black ink. Most people just throw those away but sometimes those leaflets have some pretty decent deals. I also get a lot of useless crap that gets on my nerves more than anything else.

From time to time I do get some crazy shit in my mail box. I will say it simply: PORN. For some god damn reason I get some form of porn in my mail box from time to time. I don`t know how this started, or if it is even common, but someone in Japan is under the impression I am a porn freak.

There is usually two types of porn I get in my mail box. The first type is ads for DVD`s. These are sick DVD`s too. The kind of stuff that you usually have to go to the Cho to find. I don`t know why they think I am interested in watching old women having sex with college boys.

The second type I get is ads for hostess bars. It does not really count as porn but I have heard those `ladies` are always looking for a papa-san. Well, I don`t make the kind of money to afford a whining young chick who likes to shop in Ginza. They will just have to do without me visiting their bar.

Besides porn and pizza ads I usual get the monthly bills, community newsletters, wing-nut religious crap, and well wishes from my in-laws. The gal gets all those girl mags, which I find slightly amusing by her excitement then they arrive in the mail.

So, for all people living here in Japan: Do you get anything odd in your mail box? If you get anything really strange please share in the comments below.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Cheap Ass 7-11 Beer Gets You Drunk!



For all of you who currently live in Japan, I know you have seen it. That vile looking six pack of beer costing only 687 yen at the 7-11. Your better judgment guides you directly away from anything with a 7-11 logo on it calling itself `The Brew.` You take one look at it and say, `Fuck that I got standards.` Well fuck you too! Some of us need to drink for effect not taste or pride. In such situations our good friends at 7-11 have teamed up with Suntory to offer up the Japanese version of Redneck beer called `The Brew.`

Yes my friends, the brew is cheap as shit and will get you drunk. Throw taste completely out the window. Also, give up your pride when slapping a six pack of this stuff in front of the young gal working at your local 7-11. Trust me, you are not the first over worked and underpaid gaijin to buy this shit. I have even seem a few Japanese dudes go for it a few times. You know, in these hard economic times cheap beer is good for the soul.

Actually, I am no stranger to cheap beer. Back in the mountains of West Virginia we were known to get drunk on Natural Light very often. We made no bones about our intentions when picking up a case of `Natties.` Natural Light is true Redneck beer and 7-11`s The Brew matches it on all levels:

5% alcohol
Watered down flavor
Taste like the crap on the floor of the brewery
Gets you drunk!


When you want to get drunk and do not care about the quality of the beer; 7-11 beer is for you!