Thursday, May 5, 2011
Lucky for me, I do not drink everyday. I don`t have that kind of issue with drinking. I do know a few folks you do drink everyday. That is their business and fine by me. What I am tired of doing is getting so damn drunk that I cannot remember most of what happened. I am usually able to remember everything until the point in which I either blackout or start to feel like I want to puke. After that point everything becomes fuzzy. I am simply tired of doing it. It guess binge drinking is a way to deal with the daily stress of living a very large urban area. The isolation can take its toll on me at times. I keep a lot of shit pinned up inside of me and it finally comes out though drinking or when something finally happens that pushes me over the edge. I am sure that the damn binge drinking is not a good way to deal with a mass amount of stress which has been bottled up for a while. I only end up drunk as a skunk and unable to function. Yeah, the stress gets released but I am doing more damage then good. So, I have two options: stop drinking all together or teach myself how to be a social drinker. Both sound like pretty good options to me so I have no problem making alcohol a much smaller part of my life.
It is all part of a larger process I am going though. There are things I desire to change about my life. Not putting up with people`s shit is one them and I am getting that handled currently. One of the other big things is binge drinking. It may be a normal thing here in Japan but I cannot do it anymore. It is not fun anymore. It fucks up my body and makes me a hard person to deal with. There are plenty of other things I could spend my money on than getting trashed. I am lucky I don`t do it everyday or I might be dead by now. At least once a week I have been getting shit faced beyond any acceptable level. It is going to end. I know it will make me a lot more healthy. It will also let me get inside my head easier. I would rather drink a nice cup or bottle of tea to relax than get drunk to the point of no return.