The Ghost Letters V2011

Howdy Yall! Here I am holding strong in 2011. I find myself still living in the land of the raising sun. I am a little late logging this New Year report but better late than never. 2010 was one hell of a year for me. A lot of twist and turns made up 2010 for me. A lot of low points, along with a new highs, took me to places in my mind which have forever changed me. I have learned several things:The police in Tokyo really are fucked in the head, most people cannot see past the tip of their nose, anyone with a little bit of power will have an attitude about it,life can start and end real quick, drinking really can be an acceptable lifestyle, most people really will do just about anything to save their own ass, and last but not least most people are barbaric simple minded fucks with no manners. As negative as the above learned lessons sound, I have gained several positive resolves from my experiences in 2010.

Out of all the odd twist and turns which made up 2010 I learned something very true about myself. The fact of the matter is that I am a very unique person. I kind of knew this all along but I guess I was never really able to admit it to myself. I have spent way too much time attempting to be exactly who I am, while at the same time seeking acceptance from the world at large. The odd desire for social acceptance must be a natural human trait because most people spend a good amount of their lives seeking such acceptance. I have reached the point in which I can no longer worry so much about acceptance from others in all levels of my life. This is a bit easy to do on a personal level but professionally this is a bit harder.

Truth be told, the English teaching biz in Japan is filled with good old boy gangs, super egos and pricks who have little care for their fellow co-worker. I have seen some really brutal shit go down in this biz and I am sure I will see even more shocking behavior. I consider the situation to be truly sad because in the end all of the above mentioned things lead to a overall lower level of teaching. I firmly believe that if English teachers in Japan cut the bullshit they, myself included, could become some of the best ESL teachers in the world. Sadly, most of the English teachers in Japan are content to do just enough to get buy, refuse to pull themselves up to a higher level and play politics in order to protect themselves. Well, I have refused to do this shit with people anymore.

For me, most of the things that go on in the English teaching biz are a waste of my time. I really enjoy teaching English. I want to get better and bring myself to a higher level. I am sick of the bullshit! My focus is on two things as far as a teacher goes. I always want to try and get better and give no quarter to the unethical crap most teachers consider as normal. I will admit that there are a lot of companies which will always do fucked up things to teachers in the name of making a few bucks. I have deep compassion for anyone who catches the shitty end of the stick from a company because I experience the same things. Yet, from a pure teaching stand point please cut the shit and let`s get to the business of attempting to be the best teachers we can be. I want to learn from other teaches and I hope they want to learn from me as well. I am by no means the `god of teaching` and I don`t pretend to be. Yet, I am trying to be the best I can be at what I do in order to bring money home to my wife. In short, I will no longer worry about trying to impress any of my fellow teachers. Fuck anyone who comes to me, as a professional, with any ego or other such bullshit. Earn my respect the hard way by being friendly, open to learning from each other and ready to work hard together for mutual benefit.

In other news here are some other things I plan to add to my core of values as a human being:

There is no man or women who is above or below me as a human being. Everyone gets equal treatment from me until otherwise noted.

An Asshole is an Asshole and there is no room for debate on the subject

Children are beautiful and pure beings in this world. They should always be cherished and shaped into people who have far better moral fiber than we do. You are damn lucky to be blessed with the duty of raising a child.

I have been tainted by the darkness of this world, but I must not let that be an excuse or a reason for treating random people like common dogs. I am better than that.

Only a truly vile piece of shit would sell his/her fellow humans out just to avoid a similar fate. There is no excuse for it.

How dare you undermine me for your own selfish means. One day I will fuck you up for that!

And last but not least...Love your fellow humans, even if they hate your fucking guts.

Which Direction Is Up Again?

You know I have been thinking about something recently. This has been a really tough year for me. I have had to deal with some really heavy, fucked up and silly shit which would be enough to drive a perfectly sane man to the crazy house. It has been one of those years when everything seem to happen at once. It has been a lot to deal with to say the least. So I have been thinking that it may be time for a change in direction a bit.

While I have no plans to leave Japan any time soon, I am reaching a level of stress which is starting to effect my mental well being. I have not felt this kind of high stress level many times in my life. It usually does not turn out well from past experiences. When I finally crack it is something no one should ever witness. I have done some pretty crazy things in the past in order to purge the shit of humanity from my sorry mortal soul. I know that if something like that happens in Japan I will end up in a world of shit from which I will never return. So what the hell is pushing the buttons of your lovable working class hero?

Well, aside from a lot of little things which have been building up there are two big things which are pushing me to the breaking point. Earlier this year my wife and I lost an unborn child due to medical reasons. The little one never really had a chance in this world. It was only forming in my wife`s body for about four weeks before her body rejected it. It got stuck in one of her tubes and almost killed her. I will ever forget looking down at the mass of blood and human tissue which was suppose to be my child. After the operation to save my wife`s life the doctor called me into a small room to explain what happened. After about 20 minutes of the doctor(Japanese doctors have a shitty bedside manner BTW) struggling to explain things to me, she offered to show me what was left of my child. She rolled a small metal operating table beside me and revealed my child to me. Viewing such a horrible and painful sight usually breaks the soul of most men. I just stared at it with a hard expression on my face. Not one tear came from my eyes as my mind tried to comprehend what I was looking at. It was as if time stopped. I could not hear or feel anything around me. It was one of the darkest experiences in my life. The after effects have been deep and extremely difficult for my wife and I. After several tests the doctor is not even sure if we will ever be able to have a child. I will never forget this experience as long as I live.

The other big thing which is pushing me to the limit is my day job. It is this job I depend on to provide for myself and my wife. I thought I knew what the term `fucked up SOB` meant but I really didn`t understand the term until working for my currently company going on three years now. I am pretty sure these people are capable of just about anything in the pursuit of money. Lack of humanity and ethics do not even start to describe what I have seen and experienced during my involvement with this company. It is the most cut-throat company I have ever worked for. They don`t give a flying fuck about anyone; not even each other. I have seen these people fuck each other over in order to save their own asses. They are vengeful and attack their own employees with the mind set `it is just business.` It has reached a point in which it is effecting me in very negative ways. If I ask for anything i.e. a paid day off, a decent work schedule in which I am not spread out all over fucking Japan, a little basic human respect, or requesting they don`t put me in abusive work environments they respond my making every situation worse or having to fight them to get even the basics done. I am starting to wonder how much longer I can put up with such people and such a company.

It is these two things which are effecting my mental health. The baby thing is just something which I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. The company thing is something which could be dealt with. If any of yall know of a decent paying teacher gig and you could get me a foot in the door let me know.

You Blog?! Why?

Truth be told most people I know in the `real world` do not blog. In fact. most of them have never even considered blogging. I only really know two people two actually blog. I good buddy from work Alex the Brit has his site bestbritishgrub.com(go to his site and encourage him to post more) and of course Mr. Billy `Tokyo` West who currently is not so active in the blogging world. People ask me all the time, `Why in the hell do you blog? It is kind of a waste of time.` I have always been able to answer this question pretty easily by saying,`I do it because it is fun for me. I like to write about things that I see and experience.` I really do feel that way about blogging in general. It is fun hobby which gives me the chance to share my little world with everyone out there in internet land. It has always been fun for me to be apart of something which anyone can do and be decently good at. It does not take a master level knowledge of internet code or marketing to have your own little blog.

Yet blogging is something a bit more bigger than just a fun hobby. Blogging is another form of spreading information. The internet is in its purest form is a giant library of information of just about every topic known to mankind. When anyone post a blog entry about any topic for any reason it just adds to the wealth of information in the net. Some blogs only add an opinion or an experience had by one lone person in the world. Yet,despite the weight of the content THAT lone blogger posting about something which seems unimportant to you or I will most likely be important to someone out there in the harsh world. It would only make sense to assume that every blog post carries with it important information worth sharing with billions of people.

For some folks blogging is more than just a hobby. There are folks making a shit load of cash just by blogging. They put a lot of time and effort selling ads on their site and getting paid sponsors. These kind of people pretty much live on the internet. Of course they do other stuff but majority of their day is spent doing something internet related. For a professional blogger it is more about making money than really sharing information. I don`t hate on these types of folks because if they got a damn good blog and lots of people check it out then go ahead and make some money off of it. Making serious cash doing something fun which requires very little hard labor is kind of a dream job.

So yeah, I blog because it is fun other people blog to score some cash. Both reasons for blogging is okay with me. It all comes to the spread of information in the end. If people want to hate on me then they really are wasting their time. Do you really want to be the person hating on someone`s hobby? At this point, when someone leaves a fucked up comment on my blog I just delete it and move on. I suggest everyone do the same thing. No one has to put up with assholes trying to leave a bag of shit on their front door.

Anyway, I am going to go ahead and end my `Why Blog` post before it becomes a long ass rant with little or no direction.

If you want check out my other blog; theghostofliberty.com It is more of a political blog so if you are interested give it a look.

The Youth Are Getting Brave These Days In Japan

The common Japanese you run into on the street will most likely shy away from talking to you if they do not know you. It could be said that it is a national habit for the Japanese to  leave most foreigners to their own devices. They, as a whole, get more friendly and open up a lot more after a few drinks. Besides having a few rounds, most Japanese will not just walk up to you and have direct contact. While this may be true in most situations the tide may be turning in the spirit of the Japanese youth. From my experience, I have seen a clear difference in the way younger Japanese(18-30) engage foreigners compared to their older counterparts.

The youth of Japan seen to be more forward and brash than the average Japanese Joe six pack. In most nations one would expect the youth to be forthcoming when interacting with people from other so-called tribes. Yet, in Japan the pressure to conform is so strong that one would think they are born wearing a suit and tie. The sharp contrast in posture taken towards foreigners is so clearly noticeable that it boggles the mind how they ever get to the point of being passively dismissive of foreigners.

The brash Japanese youth sometime surprise me with how forward they can be at times. Case in point, I went to the local supermarket last night to grab a few beers and a pack of smokes(yes I still smoke). Just across the road were two young street gals chatting loudly about something or the other. Of course I paid them very little mind and marched on into the store. When I came back out one of the gals came running up to me saying, `excuse me! excuse me! Give me tobacco please!` As she did this her friend slowly followed her like a pet follows a owner. I flashed a pack of smokes I just bought and both of their eyes lit up like firecrackers. I must have given them about six smokes total out of kindness and slight shock. As soon as they got what they wanted they almost walked off just as fast. One of the gals spoke to me using the little English she had found the time to master. They were cute but clearly rough from hanging out on the street all the time.

I see the same kids hanging out on the street down from my house all the time. This little event was the first time they had spoken to me. It is rare for any Japanese,even the homeless, to demand I give them something. The young kids obviously have little care to speak to foreigners when they want something bad enough. The only other time Japanese randomly speak to me is at Yoyogi park sometimes and when I go to a rockabilly show.

Have any of you ever had a random Japanese youth speak to you and/or make an out of the blue request?  

The Sad Cafe Shibuya,Tokyo

I usually do not do restaurant reviews. There are so many blogs out there which focus on such things like places to eat and things to see that I really feel it has been over done. Yet, sometimes I find a cool unique spot in the Tokyo Metro area which deserves mention. The Sad Cafe in the Shibuya area is one of those places which deserves taking a little look at. I have been going to this place for a while. I usually hit it up about once a month on one of my infamous Tokyo walkabouts. My buddy Jack of Jack's Vintage fame first passed the word on to me about this place about a year ago. He promised me a good lunch for under 2,000 yen. Well, any damn place which offers a decent lunch which will not clog my heart for under 2,000 yen is worth checking out.

About a week later I was damn hungry and had some extra cash on me so I decided to give the place a go. It is located half way from Harajuku and the central Shibuya area. It is in a food court slash mini shopping building right after the Auddi building. If you are not looking for it you will most likely miss it. Any damn way, when you walk into the place you are treated by a full on semi-sleazy 1970's theme. The slight sleeze is toned down with an up beat attitude and motto,'I can't help myself. I want to diet but with the sad cafe right around the corner...' At least they are honest that the food is good but maybe the so good for your health. Truth be told the good is actually pretty tasty. There are two items on the menu I would suggest are worth giving a go. The curry lunch plate is damn tasty and sure enough under 2,000 yen even with a drink. Not bad for downtown metro standards. Although the all time best is a straight up classic American hotdog. Be aware that most hotdogs in Tokyo are pure fucking shit. For some reason Tokyo is not good at making a decent hotdog. Lucky enough Sad Cafe makes a proper hotdog. I really enjoy having a damn good hotdog with a glass of beer at Sad Cafe. They also have tacos which are pretty good but can be a bit dry sometimes.

Despite the food, I think the main reason I keep coming back to the Sad Cafe is the overall atmosphere. The vibe is laid back and cool to say the least. The staff are very friendly but pretty much stay out of your way. They don't really come around asking you if you want more food or drink. You can sit at your table for an hour or more in total peace. There is also usually some cool 70's rock and roll playing in the background for your listening pleasure. They got all kinds of interesting 70's era posters and items on the wall to check out while you day dream. For those of you who like to view the city street while you gobble down some grub there is a long seating area which overlooks a busy Tokyo street.

Overall, the Sad Cafe offers something for just about anyone who loves good classic American food and 70's American culture. Hell, if you want to have a group party the Sad Cafe can be rented out for the evening. Just talk to the manager on duty for details.

You can get a coupon from their website for 10% discount! sadcafe.com

Some Folks Know Whats Up

In passing Japanese society looks like a very conformist button down group of people. Mid-day in Tokyo can be wall to wall suits and ties sometimes. There are so many social rules that box people into a certain lifestyle that few people break though the heavy cloud of authority. The average Japanese is going to do everything he/she can to fit in and not make waves. Despite this national fetish with conformity, some folks are able to see what is really going on. Truth in point is a student I ran across during a conversation period at school recently.

I walk into a larger than normal booth and two students stare back at me. One of them was an early 20`s something guy with a crazy stoner smile glued on his face. The other student was older, maybe in his early 60`s, hard noised and focused on something in his own mind.I really had no idea what to talk about with them so I simply asked them what they felt like saying. The old man quickly perked up and slapped a book on the table. He says to me, `you ever read this book?` The book was titled Confessions of an Economic Hitman. I read that book when it came out a few years ago and it only confirmed a lot of things a knew to be true. American is a modern Empire which takes control of other nations and uses them to get rich. What I did not expect was a old Japanese guy also being aware of such a fact and having the balls to talk about it with an American. The guy talked at length about such things as the NWO,9/11, and the Iran Contras. As interesting as it was, I could tell that the younger guy was hearing these things for the first time. It must have been one of the most interesting conversations I have ever had with anyone from Japan. The both of them asked each other questions about a variety of topics with me simply serving as a reference guide.

The experience got me thinking that maybe there are more people in Japan who are aware of what is really happening in the world than I thought. Though all the pressure to conform and `fit in` there may be a growing number of Japanese who are simply not buying the bull shit fed to them everyday. I wonder how many people are sitting at home at night researching things and trying to get to the truth of things around them? With the way the world is these days I am willing to bet there are more folks like that old man around.  

Ryan Vs. The Japanese Health Care System

By now all of yall know I really don`t like socialized health care. I have experienced it first hand and while there are some advantages, the negatives make it an overall raw deal. None the less, this is what I have to deal with in order to live in Japan. I pay for the National Heath Care insurance every month like a good little slave. Considering that I am paying for it as I might as well get something out of it from time to time. Well, my dearest wife has been nagging me to get a `health check` for about two months with the wonderful reason of, `You are 30 now so there is risk you might get sick and die.` While I really doubt my days are numbered at 30 the gal sees things very differently. To make her happy, and shut her up about it, I scheduled myself a trip to the hospital for a `health check.`

As you might have guessed, a `health check` in Japan is a bit different from what you would expect in the states. First of all, I had to go to a annex of the main hospital. That was a little odd but no biggie. When I finally got to the section I needed I felt like I had just walked into a mad house. There were gals in cute uniforms running around leading people to a variety of rooms for all the different tests to be carried out. There were people(mostly old as dirt) sitting in the waiting area looking at each other with uncomfortable expressions. The admins at the front desk were cold and all business. I thought about doing something funny in an attempt to get a smile out of them but they would most likely had none of it. They simply checked my paperwork, informed me of the price(26,000 yen! So much for socialized care), gave me a key to a locker so I could change, and told me to wait. Oddly enough the motherfuckers charged me for the damn medical outfit I had to change into for the `health check.` From the get go I felt like I was getting scammed!

After about 20 min. my name was called, correctly oddly, and the gauntlet began. Apparently, Japan must have a lack of general practice doctors because every section of the test required a different doctor. I personally thought it was a huge waste of money to have that many doctors to perform a simple health check. I must have got poked and prodded by at least 12 different so-called `specialist.` Socialized health care must be sucking the Japanese government dry. A general practice doctor could have almost done everything it took 12 doctors to do. Hell, it took three people to just take a blood sample, check my height and ask me a few basic lifestyle questions! The amount of people getting in on taking the Japanese government for a ride is amazing sometimes.

I would have not minded the scam happening right before my eyes so much if they had not been so damn out in the open about it. The whole ordeal went down along one long ass hallway with rows of small rooms on each side. In each room one small part of the `health check` was completed. In between checks you were ordered to set down on a kind of comfortable green sofa. Every Japanese I sat down next to stared at me harder than usual. It may have been the first time any of them saw a gaijin getting a health check. Such a fact would not be surprising considering most of the big employers of westerners do not offer a health care plan. The national coverage is a bit out of price range for your average gaijin to afford. It would have been nice to have a buddy with me because it was super awkward having a gang of old people wearing ugly green hospital gear staring at me with odd expressions glued on their faces.

To be fair, one of the bright moments was being lead to the next room by a cute early 20 something gal wearing a cute checked outfit. They had entire team of these gals assisting every single person to their next room. it was surreal to say the least. It was like being on some Japanese game show from hell, `Okay folks! Our next lucky player will take the liquid metal in your stomach/fun with X-rays challenge!`

Seriously, I am not joking about liquid metal being involved in the whole ordeal! At one point in the `health check` I went into a X-ray room. I have gotten plenty of X-rays in my life but nothing prepared me for a Japanese style X-ray. When I went into the X-ray room I was greeted by the muscular looking man holding a cup of scary looking thick liquid. He smiled and said to me. `Please drink this whole cup of Barium so I can check your stomach and intestines` My first reaction was of course, `What the fuck! I am not drinking that! We use Barium for rat poison in the states!` He did not care that Barium is rat poison and I ended up having to drink a whole cup of that shit!` After I forced myself to drink it he made me hold onto a rotating bed while he got a few live shots of my guts. I felt like pure shit the rest of the day. Matters were made worse by the fact that he also instructed to me take two very strong laxatives to get the Barium out of my system. I thought I would be strong and not shit my pants before making it home. Well, these were pretty strong laxatives and I only made it three stations before the shit in my ass could not wait any longer. I rushed off the train at Akiba station and right into a bathroom at the platform. I suffered though 40 minutes of explosive diarrhea before I was able to walk again.

After finally being able to transfer from JR to TX I must have been the most happy person you could ever see on a damn Tokyo train. It just felt good knowing that I would soon be safe in my home. I am sure that some of the folks on the train noticed that I had just survived a rough morning. It was kind of written all over my face. I remember sitting there thinking that I left the hospital feeling worse than when I arrived. A `health check` has got to be one of the strangest experiences I have had in Japan so far.

I really cannot blame the Japanese for this wasteful and inefficient system. The government and greedy health care industry must take the lion share of the blame for a such a money sucking system. Yeah, I got a pretty full on `health check` but at the same time I was over charged and way too many doctors poked and prodded me. It will be a long ass time before I do that again!