Monday, February 23, 2009

Stupid, God Damn, Quit Smoking, Bull Shit!

As you can tell from the title of this post I am experiencing withdraw. In fact the withdraw is much stronger than I expected. I knew that kicking the habit would involve a little pain and restlessness. I did not expect some of the finer details of the withdraw pain. It can get pretty bad at some moments. I feel like I am going to fucking pop! I am starting to act like a heroin addict stuck in prison with no heroin! Dammit I really need a smoke!

Wait...wait...a little longer...ok I am fine now.

SO, at this point almost all of the tobacco is out of my body. I am in full withdraw mode now. All I can think about sometimes is the desire to smoke. Actually, right now is not the best time for me to stop smoking. There are a lot of things going on with me at the moment. Yet, quitting smoking is a must for my life right now. You see, if I can actually quit smoking it will delight the gal in my life as well as show others that any goal can be achieved. From a leadership stand point, it can only earn me some major respect point from those under me.

Anyway, let me share with all of you what I am experiencing.

---lose of feeling or ability to taste much of anything with my tongue

--totally lose of what little ability a had to sleep in the past(I suffer from insomnia;not related to stopping smoking)

--I twitch

--a sway back and forth when sitting in a chair.

my skin feels like it is going to jump off my body

--I cannot listen to the sound of any women`s voice for more than a few minutes(unless I am being paid to listen to them of course).

--uncontrolled desire for beer

--my stomach hurts

--I want to fight someone; anyone really; in fact the next motherfucker...wait...wait...a little longer...okay I am fine now.

I think you get the point. I really feel like shit. I am trying to be strong but it is hard. The gal was nice enough to pick me up some stop-smoking pipes to help me long. It is actually an interesting little invention. The photo at the top of this page is the box for these little things. I don`t know if they actually have nicotine in them or not. They do help out a little. I hope that I can get over the withdraw soon or else I might do something really stupid. You know, like keep a whole carton of smokes at work just to be able to sneak and have one or two without the gal knowing anything. I do not want to reduce myself to such behavior. I really do want to quit smoking! I must stay hard as stone to do this.

In this day and age people are real assholes towards people trying to kick the habit. They fuck with you can say that you will never do it. They also show you very little mercy. In fact, people tend to put more stress on you if they know you are trying to stop. I do not get this kind of crap at all. Show a little support you fucks! Okay!

Now, I am drinking some beer trying to pass out. It is the only thing I know to do in order to get some sleep. Just drink myself stupid. It is kind of working actually. I feel a little sleepy. Maybe I can get some damn sleep tonight at least.


Anonymous said...

you're doing a good thing. Keep at it...

Wholeflaffer said...

There has been a lot of breakthroughs in smoking cessation lately. Your point about heroin is actually real close: nicotine is MORE addicting then heroin! Cold turkey is most often not successful. I would suggest talking to a doctor, assuming a US-like system (not knocking Japanese health care system at all; i live in the states so have no idea what sort of treatments they use).

Fuddruckers said...

Get some fucking nicotine supplements you damned hillbilly son of a bitch!

TheGhost said...

Well, this `dammed hillbilly son of a bitch` is doing just fine with stop smoking cig pipes. They keep me going during the hard moments. I got some patches but I have not started using them yet. I am trying to wait until the extreme end of the withdraw has passed.

Fuddruckers said...

It's good to be prepared than be without in your moment of need.

You can do it!

TheGhost said...

Thank you so much. I need all the support I can get.