So, I was pulling down some bread recently and I got into this `discussion` with this guy who has got to be old enough to have seen the bomb drop. I have `taught` this man many times before. He is okay usually but he has this habit of saying really depressing things and never following the flow of the lesson. Well, I must have gotten the luck of the draw because I had to `teach` this guy for two hours straight(two lessons back to back). What this throw back to Imperial Japan said to me was enough to really make me question the soul of the nation.
During the first lesson, which was an advanced discussion lesson, he had another old bag in the class with him. As usual he derailed the flow of the lesson as every given opportunity. It did not matter which section of the lesson we were doing, he was intent on doing his own thing. This of course pissed off the old chick and frustrated me to no ends. Yet, he did not give a fuck.. Fair enough, it`s his money and if he wants to rant on and on so be it. Although, when he had me all to himself things twisted in a very unexpected way.
After stepping out for a quick smoke, I return to the class to find that this guardian of the old faith had booked a lesson which had just been canceled. Being a keen old bastard he of course booked a group lesson knowing full well that no other student would want to have a lesson with his ass. I decided to use some material I had made myself. Usually, I would not waste something I made myself on this bitter stubborn old man. Although, it was a light day and I needed to try out some material. What material was on tap? Well, learning about extended metaphors though the works of Shakespeare of course! This had `old man will reject this and go on a cold blooded rant about society` written all over it. Despite this fact, I threw caution to the wind and used the material anyway.
I sat down with the hopes that this Emperor loving geezer would attempt to learn what I choose to attempt to teach him. At first he seemed to be gun-ho. I presented the topic to him and he was game at first. It was only when we started to modify one of Shakespeare`s metaphors that this old geezer laid some cold blooded shit on me.
*Remember he never follows any lesson flow.
Old Geezer:
`It is a fact that there is no god. This is why some people have a very good life and others suffer deeply. Those who suffer will die and be gone from our society. They must suffer and they must die. We should never care about other people. They cannot be helped. If we have any pity on other people, such an act only makes society weak. This is why no American can ever hope to understand we Japanese.`
How in the fuck do you even begin to respond to such a statement? For that matter, how to you maintain your professionalism when a student lays something like that on you?That old fucker smacked me in the face with the weight of the defunct Japanese Empire for seemly no good reason other than for his own sick jollies. He had this smug grin on his face as I struggled to press on with the lesson. With such cold blooded shit as an undercurrent in Japanese society no wonder things are so fucked at times. I have heard of such ideas being one part of modern Japanese society. I have also seen evidence of it in the manner in which the homeless and unemployed are generally treated. That was the first time someone from Japan had ever bluntly laid out the wolf pack mentally to me concerning Japanese society.
I need some feedback on this one. Was this old fart just lashing out at me because he has some old axe to grind with non-Japanese or was he simply stating an often unspoken fact about Japanese society?
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Darkest Fire Bruns Out The Heart of Wicked Men
In the brightest light of day I see the darkest heart of men. Many people pass right by them without a single clue. Yet, I can feel, smell, and even taste the allure of the blackest lust of men all around me. It pucks out a sinister excitement. If it does not blacken the heart of every man, at least it will taint the soul. Such darkness travels without detection from one soul to the next. It separates soul and mind, replacing only a madding lust for all things destructive. How am I able to resist it? I don`t try. Instead of trying to resist such madness, I prefer to be tainted by it rather than be destroyed by it.
I can sense the darkest hearts of the darkest men because their darkness also dwells inside of me. Yes, I feel all the blood lust, rage, corruption, coldness, and chaos which drives the common blackened man in all his endeavors. I have knowledge of the darkness which split his soul and mind into a mesh of chaotic endless madness. We do not know each others name`s yet we do know a certain sickness which lurks along the mass population like a burning black fire. While his heart has been overtaken by the darkness, I am only tainted therefore I am at natural odds with the darkest hearts of men.
This natural and unavoidable conflict can be so subtle and vague that a simple passing expression or eye contact is enough to spark a shared madness of undetectable looming doom by the non-inflicted. Our battle ground is the metaphysical plain of existence only known to those effected by the dwelling darkness. An explosion of a million atomic bombs release an enveloping cloud of protective black energy blocking out all sound and outside influence; there will be blood. We cast a million strikes with our swords in a millionth of a second. As we attempt to slice our minds into utter nothingness, we absorb the black fallout form such a massive release of raw dark energy. The fallout seeps into our hearts and begins a chain reaction of fire, rage and lust. He who burns quickest, burns shortest. I burn but not outward. My fire retains the one thing which cannot be ruined; knowledge that I am not wicked simply tainted.
Battle ends. The darkness in the heart of men carries on.
I can sense the darkest hearts of the darkest men because their darkness also dwells inside of me. Yes, I feel all the blood lust, rage, corruption, coldness, and chaos which drives the common blackened man in all his endeavors. I have knowledge of the darkness which split his soul and mind into a mesh of chaotic endless madness. We do not know each others name`s yet we do know a certain sickness which lurks along the mass population like a burning black fire. While his heart has been overtaken by the darkness, I am only tainted therefore I am at natural odds with the darkest hearts of men.
This natural and unavoidable conflict can be so subtle and vague that a simple passing expression or eye contact is enough to spark a shared madness of undetectable looming doom by the non-inflicted. Our battle ground is the metaphysical plain of existence only known to those effected by the dwelling darkness. An explosion of a million atomic bombs release an enveloping cloud of protective black energy blocking out all sound and outside influence; there will be blood. We cast a million strikes with our swords in a millionth of a second. As we attempt to slice our minds into utter nothingness, we absorb the black fallout form such a massive release of raw dark energy. The fallout seeps into our hearts and begins a chain reaction of fire, rage and lust. He who burns quickest, burns shortest. I burn but not outward. My fire retains the one thing which cannot be ruined; knowledge that I am not wicked simply tainted.
Battle ends. The darkness in the heart of men carries on.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
It`s True! I am a Twisted Mother Fucker!
To say that I am a bit `out of place` in Japan is an understatement. I am not talking about the simple fact that I am not Japanese; because that is just a fact of life. In fact, I find the Japanese to be pretty interesting people. While I don`t agree with their overall mindset at times and unique ability to be distant even when it does not benefit them, I try to give them equal bearing even when they refuse to give it to me. I don`t really try to relate to them because it has been made clear to me that, as a nation and a culture, they don`t want anyone to relate to them. One of my biggest struggles living in Japan has been relating to other western foreigners.
Yall would think this shit would not be so hard. In the end, we are all in this together. One would expect some sort of natural common ground among the western foreign population. I have found that this is simply not the case. Now, before I go any further let me say that I do know some really cool people. They are few and far between but I do know some. Yet, for the life of me I seem to have a really hard time relating and befriending other `gaijin.`
I have spent countless nights staying up late attempting to understand what the root of the problem is. At times I have tried my damn hardest to be friendly and nice as I can be. Despite my attempts at friendship I find myself being awkward and left `out of the loop` way too often. I seem to find a way to make people have adverse reactions to me. Maybe I really am a twisted mother fucker. I go over the edge into the land of chaos a lot more than I should. Sometimes my rebellious nature may freak people out or give them the impression that I am somehow unhinged. To be honest, I don`t feel that way about myself.
I think due to a hell of a lot of crazy shit which has gone down around me, to me and because of me has made me sensitive to the world on a much different level than a lot of westerners. I have experienced first hand a lot of madness in my life. Hell, I have touch death`s hand twice, partied in ways which would kill most men, hunted out thrills which are in no way safe, buried my own father, been involved in fights which should have killed me, grew up in one of the roughest backwoods areas of America and dated women wilder and more dangerous than a cobra. All of these things, combined with a few others, have given me a pretty unique spirit. Yet, I find myself struggling to not only find a comfort zone with Japanese but also bond with other `gaijin.`
I need to find a way to relate and express myself in a way which other people can get a handle on. People mock me and it pisses me off! I really do not like being marginalized by others lack of ability to understand me as a person. As I have always believed, `To know me is to love me.`
Yall would think this shit would not be so hard. In the end, we are all in this together. One would expect some sort of natural common ground among the western foreign population. I have found that this is simply not the case. Now, before I go any further let me say that I do know some really cool people. They are few and far between but I do know some. Yet, for the life of me I seem to have a really hard time relating and befriending other `gaijin.`
I have spent countless nights staying up late attempting to understand what the root of the problem is. At times I have tried my damn hardest to be friendly and nice as I can be. Despite my attempts at friendship I find myself being awkward and left `out of the loop` way too often. I seem to find a way to make people have adverse reactions to me. Maybe I really am a twisted mother fucker. I go over the edge into the land of chaos a lot more than I should. Sometimes my rebellious nature may freak people out or give them the impression that I am somehow unhinged. To be honest, I don`t feel that way about myself.
I think due to a hell of a lot of crazy shit which has gone down around me, to me and because of me has made me sensitive to the world on a much different level than a lot of westerners. I have experienced first hand a lot of madness in my life. Hell, I have touch death`s hand twice, partied in ways which would kill most men, hunted out thrills which are in no way safe, buried my own father, been involved in fights which should have killed me, grew up in one of the roughest backwoods areas of America and dated women wilder and more dangerous than a cobra. All of these things, combined with a few others, have given me a pretty unique spirit. Yet, I find myself struggling to not only find a comfort zone with Japanese but also bond with other `gaijin.`
I need to find a way to relate and express myself in a way which other people can get a handle on. People mock me and it pisses me off! I really do not like being marginalized by others lack of ability to understand me as a person. As I have always believed, `To know me is to love me.`
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Stubborn Game
Games are very popular in Japan. Arcades can be found everywhere. Hell, I once stayed at a cheap love hotel which had a damn slot machine in the room! Yet, truth be told there is one game which it seems as if almost everyone in these parts love to play; The Stubborn Game. If you don`t know this crazy ass game then you don`t live in Japan. The rules are pretty simple. Basically, when someone wants or needs something you place unreasonable demands on them and refuse to listen to anything they have to say until they do everything you want first. If the other person will not `cooperate` you attack them without end until they are emotionally and mentally raped. Many folks find this to be a very fun game worth countless hours attempting to win. Although, those of us who are sane know this is pure bullshit which drags people down to a very low level of thinking.The shit pisses me off and I am sure it pisses you off as well.
The problem is that `the stubborn game` is played so often by a hell of a lot of people it can be rather hard to avoid it. As for me I usually try to dismiss people when they try this shit with me. Let me give yall a real good example of how I attempt to deal with this often played game in the grand city of Tokyo. This example is simple but just goes to show the daily level of stubbornness that is the Tokyo lifestyle. I was in Takadanobaba a bit early before work so I decided to grab a quick cup of coffee. There is a coffee shop in the area that looked nice so I went inside. There is this lady who greets me and says gives me a table, which I thought was a bit odd for a damn coffee shop. I told her all I wanted was a cup of coffee. She gives a odd look and goes away. A few minutes later she brings me a coffee. Well, my work place calls me and needs me to go ahead and come to the branch. I asked the women to give me a to-go cup because I need to leave suddenly. She tells me that is not allowed and I will have to buy a to-go coffee. I tell her I already ordered a cup of coffee, and I want to get a take out cup for the coffee I just ordered. She says, `Sorry. Cannot do that. Must order another` in the best English she could muster. In response I say,`I am busy. Please help me. Give me a to-go cup for my coffee` in the best Japanese I could muster. She gets angry and demands I pay for the coffee I ordered. Well, I politely said no and left. I did not actually get any coffee in my belly.
The above example was a small one but this kind of thing goes down all the fucking time. The Stubborn game is so common I almost expect some stupid shit to go down every time I need something from someone. It can really be a drag to depend on anyone in Tokyo. I am willing to bend a lot for people at times. Dammit when people start that `No. My Rules or you get nothing` shit it really makes it hard for me to be nice. I tried real hard to bend for this women. I was willing to pay for the coffee if would have simply gave me a to-go cup. Hell, I was planning on buying a little sandwich to take with me. The bitch just had to be stubborn as hell and place unreasonable demands on the situation. She was hell bent on milking the situation for all it was worth. She was not going to give me an inch. I could also be an unreasonable asshole all the time but I try really hard not to be. Yet, these days I got a much more well defined line and I just cannot let people cross me so damn much.
The problem is that `the stubborn game` is played so often by a hell of a lot of people it can be rather hard to avoid it. As for me I usually try to dismiss people when they try this shit with me. Let me give yall a real good example of how I attempt to deal with this often played game in the grand city of Tokyo. This example is simple but just goes to show the daily level of stubbornness that is the Tokyo lifestyle. I was in Takadanobaba a bit early before work so I decided to grab a quick cup of coffee. There is a coffee shop in the area that looked nice so I went inside. There is this lady who greets me and says gives me a table, which I thought was a bit odd for a damn coffee shop. I told her all I wanted was a cup of coffee. She gives a odd look and goes away. A few minutes later she brings me a coffee. Well, my work place calls me and needs me to go ahead and come to the branch. I asked the women to give me a to-go cup because I need to leave suddenly. She tells me that is not allowed and I will have to buy a to-go coffee. I tell her I already ordered a cup of coffee, and I want to get a take out cup for the coffee I just ordered. She says, `Sorry. Cannot do that. Must order another` in the best English she could muster. In response I say,`I am busy. Please help me. Give me a to-go cup for my coffee` in the best Japanese I could muster. She gets angry and demands I pay for the coffee I ordered. Well, I politely said no and left. I did not actually get any coffee in my belly.
The above example was a small one but this kind of thing goes down all the fucking time. The Stubborn game is so common I almost expect some stupid shit to go down every time I need something from someone. It can really be a drag to depend on anyone in Tokyo. I am willing to bend a lot for people at times. Dammit when people start that `No. My Rules or you get nothing` shit it really makes it hard for me to be nice. I tried real hard to bend for this women. I was willing to pay for the coffee if would have simply gave me a to-go cup. Hell, I was planning on buying a little sandwich to take with me. The bitch just had to be stubborn as hell and place unreasonable demands on the situation. She was hell bent on milking the situation for all it was worth. She was not going to give me an inch. I could also be an unreasonable asshole all the time but I try really hard not to be. Yet, these days I got a much more well defined line and I just cannot let people cross me so damn much.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The Ghost Letters V2011
Howdy Yall! Here I am holding strong in 2011. I find myself still living in the land of the raising sun. I am a little late logging this New Year report but better late than never. 2010 was one hell of a year for me. A lot of twist and turns made up 2010 for me. A lot of low points, along with a new highs, took me to places in my mind which have forever changed me. I have learned several things:The police
Out of all the odd twist and turns which made up 2010 I learned something very true about myself. The fact of the matter is that I am a very unique person. I kind of knew this all along but I guess I was never really able to admit it to myself. I have spent way too much time attempting to be exactly who I am, while at the same time seeking acceptance from the world at large. The odd desire for social acceptance must be a natural human trait because most people spend a good amount of their lives seeking such acceptance. I have reached the point in which I can no longer worry so much about acceptance from others in all levels of my life. This is a bit easy to do on a personal level but professionally this is a bit harder.
Truth be told, the English teaching biz in Japan is filled with good old boy gangs, super egos and pricks who have little care for their fellow co-worker. I have seen some really brutal shit go down in this biz and I am sure I will see even more shocking behavior. I consider the situation to be truly sad because in the end all of the above mentioned things lead to a overall lower level of teaching. I firmly believe that if English teachers in Japan cut the bullshit they, myself included, could become some of the best ESL teachers in the world. Sadly, most of the English teachers in Japan are content to do just enough to get buy, refuse to pull themselves up to a higher level and play politics in order to protect themselves. Well, I have refused to do this shit with people anymore.
For me, most of the things that go on in the English teaching biz are a waste of my time. I really enjoy teaching English. I want to get better and bring myself to a higher level. I am sick of the bullshit! My focus is on two things as far as a teacher goes. I always want to try and get better and give no quarter to the unethical crap most teachers consider as normal. I will admit that there are a lot of companies which will always do fucked up things to teachers in the name of making a few bucks. I have deep compassion for anyone who catches the shitty end of the stick from a company because I experience the same things. Yet, from a pure teaching stand point please cut the shit and let`s get to the business of attempting to be the best teachers we can be. I want to learn from other teaches and I hope they want to learn from me as well. I am by no means the `god of teaching` and I don`t pretend to be. Yet, I am trying to be the best I can be at what I do in order to bring money home to my wife. In short, I will no longer worry about trying to impress any of my fellow teachers. Fuck anyone who comes to me, as a professional, with any ego or other such bullshit. Earn my respect the hard way by being friendly, open to learning from each other and ready to work hard together for mutual benefit.
In other news here are some other things I plan to add to my core of values as a human being:
There is no man or women who is above or below me as a human being. Everyone gets equal treatment from me until otherwise noted.
An Asshole is an Asshole and there is no room for debate on the subject
Children are beautiful and pure beings in this world. They should always be cherished and shaped into people who have far better moral fiber than we do. You are damn lucky to be blessed with the duty of raising a child.
I have been tainted by the darkness of this world, but I must not let that be an excuse or a reason for treating random people like common dogs. I am better than that.
Only a truly vile piece of shit would sell his/her fellow humans out just to avoid a similar fate. There is no excuse for it.
How dare you undermine me for your own selfish means. One day I will fuck you up for that!
And last but not least...Love your fellow humans, even if they hate your fucking guts.
Out of all the odd twist and turns which made up 2010 I learned something very true about myself. The fact of the matter is that I am a very unique person. I kind of knew this all along but I guess I was never really able to admit it to myself. I have spent way too much time attempting to be exactly who I am, while at the same time seeking acceptance from the world at large. The odd desire for social acceptance must be a natural human trait because most people spend a good amount of their lives seeking such acceptance. I have reached the point in which I can no longer worry so much about acceptance from others in all levels of my life. This is a bit easy to do on a personal level but professionally this is a bit harder.
Truth be told, the English teaching biz in Japan is filled with good old boy gangs, super egos and pricks who have little care for their fellow co-worker. I have seen some really brutal shit go down in this biz and I am sure I will see even more shocking behavior. I consider the situation to be truly sad because in the end all of the above mentioned things lead to a overall lower level of teaching. I firmly believe that if English teachers in Japan cut the bullshit they, myself included, could become some of the best ESL teachers in the world. Sadly, most of the English teachers in Japan are content to do just enough to get buy, refuse to pull themselves up to a higher level and play politics in order to protect themselves. Well, I have refused to do this shit with people anymore.
For me, most of the things that go on in the English teaching biz are a waste of my time. I really enjoy teaching English. I want to get better and bring myself to a higher level. I am sick of the bullshit! My focus is on two things as far as a teacher goes. I always want to try and get better and give no quarter to the unethical crap most teachers consider as normal. I will admit that there are a lot of companies which will always do fucked up things to teachers in the name of making a few bucks. I have deep compassion for anyone who catches the shitty end of the stick from a company because I experience the same things. Yet, from a pure teaching stand point please cut the shit and let`s get to the business of attempting to be the best teachers we can be. I want to learn from other teaches and I hope they want to learn from me as well. I am by no means the `god of teaching` and I don`t pretend to be. Yet, I am trying to be the best I can be at what I do in order to bring money home to my wife. In short, I will no longer worry about trying to impress any of my fellow teachers. Fuck anyone who comes to me, as a professional, with any ego or other such bullshit. Earn my respect the hard way by being friendly, open to learning from each other and ready to work hard together for mutual benefit.
In other news here are some other things I plan to add to my core of values as a human being:
There is no man or women who is above or below me as a human being. Everyone gets equal treatment from me until otherwise noted.
An Asshole is an Asshole and there is no room for debate on the subject
Children are beautiful and pure beings in this world. They should always be cherished and shaped into people who have far better moral fiber than we do. You are damn lucky to be blessed with the duty of raising a child.
I have been tainted by the darkness of this world, but I must not let that be an excuse or a reason for treating random people like common dogs. I am better than that.
Only a truly vile piece of shit would sell his/her fellow humans out just to avoid a similar fate. There is no excuse for it.
How dare you undermine me for your own selfish means. One day I will fuck you up for that!
And last but not least...Love your fellow humans, even if they hate your fucking guts.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Which Direction Is Up Again?
You know I have been thinking about something recently. This has been a really tough year for me. I have had to deal with some really heavy, fucked up and silly shit which would be enough to drive a perfectly sane man to the crazy house. It has been one of those years when everything seem to happen at once. It has been a lot to deal with to say the least. So I have been thinking that it may be time for a change in direction a bit.
While I have no plans to leave Japan any time soon, I am reaching a level of stress which is starting to effect my mental well being. I have not felt this kind of high stress level many times in my life. It usually does not turn out well from past experiences. When I finally crack it is something no one should ever witness. I have done some pretty crazy things in the past in order to purge the shit of humanity from my sorry mortal soul. I know that if something like that happens in Japan I will end up in a world of shit from which I will never return. So what the hell is pushing the buttons of your lovable working class hero?
Well, aside from a lot of little things which have been building up there are two big things which are pushing me to the breaking point. Earlier this year my wife and I lost an unborn child due to medical reasons. The little one never really had a chance in this world. It was only forming in my wife`s body for about four weeks before her body rejected it. It got stuck in one of her tubes and almost killed her. I will ever forget looking down at the mass of blood and human tissue which was suppose to be my child. After the operation to save my wife`s life the doctor called me into a small room to explain what happened. After about 20 minutes of the doctor(Japanese doctors have a shitty bedside manner BTW) struggling to explain things to me, she offered to show me what was left of my child. She rolled a small metal operating table beside me and revealed my child to me. Viewing such a horrible and painful sight usually breaks the soul of most men. I just stared at it with a hard expression on my face. Not one tear came from my eyes as my mind tried to comprehend what I was looking at. It was as if time stopped. I could not hear or feel anything around me. It was one of the darkest experiences in my life. The after effects have been deep and extremely difficult for my wife and I. After several tests the doctor is not even sure if we will ever be able to have a child. I will never forget this experience as long as I live.
The other big thing which is pushing me to the limit is my day job. It is this job I depend on to provide for myself and my wife. I thought I knew what the term `fucked up SOB` meant but I really didn`t understand the term until working for my currently company going on three years now. I am pretty sure these people are capable of just about anything in the pursuit of money. Lack of humanity and ethics do not even start to describe what I have seen and experienced during my involvement with this company. It is the most cut-throat company I have ever worked for. They don`t give a flying fuck about anyone; not even each other. I have seen these people fuck each other over in order to save their own asses. They are vengeful and attack their own employees with the mind set `it is just business.` It has reached a point in which it is effecting me in very negative ways. If I ask for anything i.e. a paid day off, a decent work schedule in which I am not spread out all over fucking Japan, a little basic human respect, or requesting they don`t put me in abusive work environments they respond my making every situation worse or having to fight them to get even the basics done. I am starting to wonder how much longer I can put up with such people and such a company.
It is these two things which are effecting my mental health. The baby thing is just something which I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. The company thing is something which could be dealt with. If any of yall know of a decent paying teacher gig and you could get me a foot in the door let me know.
While I have no plans to leave Japan any time soon, I am reaching a level of stress which is starting to effect my mental well being. I have not felt this kind of high stress level many times in my life. It usually does not turn out well from past experiences. When I finally crack it is something no one should ever witness. I have done some pretty crazy things in the past in order to purge the shit of humanity from my sorry mortal soul. I know that if something like that happens in Japan I will end up in a world of shit from which I will never return. So what the hell is pushing the buttons of your lovable working class hero?
Well, aside from a lot of little things which have been building up there are two big things which are pushing me to the breaking point. Earlier this year my wife and I lost an unborn child due to medical reasons. The little one never really had a chance in this world. It was only forming in my wife`s body for about four weeks before her body rejected it. It got stuck in one of her tubes and almost killed her. I will ever forget looking down at the mass of blood and human tissue which was suppose to be my child. After the operation to save my wife`s life the doctor called me into a small room to explain what happened. After about 20 minutes of the doctor(Japanese doctors have a shitty bedside manner BTW) struggling to explain things to me, she offered to show me what was left of my child. She rolled a small metal operating table beside me and revealed my child to me. Viewing such a horrible and painful sight usually breaks the soul of most men. I just stared at it with a hard expression on my face. Not one tear came from my eyes as my mind tried to comprehend what I was looking at. It was as if time stopped. I could not hear or feel anything around me. It was one of the darkest experiences in my life. The after effects have been deep and extremely difficult for my wife and I. After several tests the doctor is not even sure if we will ever be able to have a child. I will never forget this experience as long as I live.
The other big thing which is pushing me to the limit is my day job. It is this job I depend on to provide for myself and my wife. I thought I knew what the term `fucked up SOB` meant but I really didn`t understand the term until working for my currently company going on three years now. I am pretty sure these people are capable of just about anything in the pursuit of money. Lack of humanity and ethics do not even start to describe what I have seen and experienced during my involvement with this company. It is the most cut-throat company I have ever worked for. They don`t give a flying fuck about anyone; not even each other. I have seen these people fuck each other over in order to save their own asses. They are vengeful and attack their own employees with the mind set `it is just business.` It has reached a point in which it is effecting me in very negative ways. If I ask for anything i.e. a paid day off, a decent work schedule in which I am not spread out all over fucking Japan, a little basic human respect, or requesting they don`t put me in abusive work environments they respond my making every situation worse or having to fight them to get even the basics done. I am starting to wonder how much longer I can put up with such people and such a company.
It is these two things which are effecting my mental health. The baby thing is just something which I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. The company thing is something which could be dealt with. If any of yall know of a decent paying teacher gig and you could get me a foot in the door let me know.
Friday, November 19, 2010
You Blog?! Why?
Truth be told most people I know in the `real world` do not blog. In fact. most of them have never even considered blogging. I only really know two people two actually blog. I good buddy from work Alex the Brit has his site bestbritishgrub.com(go to his site and encourage him to post more) and of course Mr. Billy `Tokyo` West who currently is not so active in the blogging world. People ask me all the time, `Why in the hell do you blog? It is kind of a waste of time.` I have always been able to answer this question pretty easily by saying,`I do it because it is fun for me. I like to write about things that I see and experience.` I really do feel that way about blogging in general. It is fun hobby which gives me the chance to share my little world with everyone out there in internet land. It has always been fun for me to be apart of something which anyone can do and be decently good at. It does not take a master level knowledge of internet code or marketing to have your own little blog.
Yet blogging is something a bit more bigger than just a fun hobby. Blogging is another form of spreading information. The internet is in its purest form is a giant library of information of just about every topic known to mankind. When anyone post a blog entry about any topic for any reason it just adds to the wealth of information in the net. Some blogs only add an opinion or an experience had by one lone person in the world. Yet,despite the weight of the content THAT lone blogger posting about something which seems unimportant to you or I will most likely be important to someone out there in the harsh world. It would only make sense to assume that every blog post carries with it important information worth sharing with billions of people.
For some folks blogging is more than just a hobby. There are folks making a shit load of cash just by blogging. They put a lot of time and effort selling ads on their site and getting paid sponsors. These kind of people pretty much live on the internet. Of course they do other stuff but majority of their day is spent doing something internet related. For a professional blogger it is more about making money than really sharing information. I don`t hate on these types of folks because if they got a damn good blog and lots of people check it out then go ahead and make some money off of it. Making serious cash doing something fun which requires very little hard labor is kind of a dream job.
So yeah, I blog because it is fun other people blog to score some cash. Both reasons for blogging is okay with me. It all comes to the spread of information in the end. If people want to hate on me then they really are wasting their time. Do you really want to be the person hating on someone`s hobby? At this point, when someone leaves a fucked up comment on my blog I just delete it and move on. I suggest everyone do the same thing. No one has to put up with assholes trying to leave a bag of shit on their front door.
Anyway, I am going to go ahead and end my `Why Blog` post before it becomes a long ass rant with little or no direction.
If you want check out my other blog; theghostofliberty.com It is more of a political blog so if you are interested give it a look.
Yet blogging is something a bit more bigger than just a fun hobby. Blogging is another form of spreading information. The internet is in its purest form is a giant library of information of just about every topic known to mankind. When anyone post a blog entry about any topic for any reason it just adds to the wealth of information in the net. Some blogs only add an opinion or an experience had by one lone person in the world. Yet,despite the weight of the content THAT lone blogger posting about something which seems unimportant to you or I will most likely be important to someone out there in the harsh world. It would only make sense to assume that every blog post carries with it important information worth sharing with billions of people.
For some folks blogging is more than just a hobby. There are folks making a shit load of cash just by blogging. They put a lot of time and effort selling ads on their site and getting paid sponsors. These kind of people pretty much live on the internet. Of course they do other stuff but majority of their day is spent doing something internet related. For a professional blogger it is more about making money than really sharing information. I don`t hate on these types of folks because if they got a damn good blog and lots of people check it out then go ahead and make some money off of it. Making serious cash doing something fun which requires very little hard labor is kind of a dream job.
So yeah, I blog because it is fun other people blog to score some cash. Both reasons for blogging is okay with me. It all comes to the spread of information in the end. If people want to hate on me then they really are wasting their time. Do you really want to be the person hating on someone`s hobby? At this point, when someone leaves a fucked up comment on my blog I just delete it and move on. I suggest everyone do the same thing. No one has to put up with assholes trying to leave a bag of shit on their front door.
Anyway, I am going to go ahead and end my `Why Blog` post before it becomes a long ass rant with little or no direction.
If you want check out my other blog; theghostofliberty.com It is more of a political blog so if you are interested give it a look.
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