The Right-Wing in Japan Is Insane.

Leave it to the right-wing in Japan to ruin even the most beautiful moments in life. Case in point is the past Friday. Due to the weather, I was not able to get in some cherry blossom viewing until this past Friday. The weather was finally great and I was feeling good. I decided to go down to Yoyogi park. Yoyogi has some of the best cherry blossoms in Tokyo. It also has some of the best cherry blossom parties. I arrived around 1:00 p.m. In my usual lone ranger style I made no plans to meet up with anyone. Although I enjoy meeting up with people from time to time,it is fun for me to dive head first into downtown Tokyo all by myself.

So after I hopped off the Yamanote train at Harajuku station, I make a bee line for Yoyogi park. It was already packed with people. The ground was covered with blue tarps and drunken cherry blossom lovers. I found me a comfortable spot, out of the way, against the base of a large tree. For about two hours I just sat, drank, and enjoyed the beauty around me. It was enjoyable to just look at the cherry blossoms and all the people having a good time. It was fun of course until I was invited to join one of the groups drinking.

I caught the eye of a few gals in business suits. They invited me over to their tarp for a drink. I thought to myself, `Ok What is the worst that could happen?` After having a drink with them the group beside them dragged me over to their tarp. They were a young group of so-called `freeders` for the most part. They were fun, although way too drunk way too early. After some time this one guy starts talking to me. He tells me, `I hate Americans but I like you.` My first reaction was to slap him in the mouth for speaking to me in such a manner. You do not say such things to Americans. It is real stupid to tell an American that you hate America. I decided to let it go for the time being. I did not want to get pissed off.

Anyway, the gals were nice and everyone else was being nice to me. Although, I could feel that something was not right with the situation. Most of the men did not like me for some reason. A few of them were okay but I could feel that most of them wanted to make trouble. Lucky for me they lacked the balls to try anything; except this one guy. After sun set two of the young men kept trying to get me to go some place with them, I resisted them as best I could. Eventually, one of them got my attention enough and pushed some girl on me. He said, `She wants to talk with you. Go have sex with her.` Before I knew it he was gone and I was stuck with one of the gals from the group. Things just kept getting more strange by the minute. I asked her, `What do you really want dear?` She replied, `I want a beer.` It was an easy enough request. I got her a beer and took her to Shibuya gate. Remember that I am married and this girl is young and drunk. I talked to her a bit and let her finish her beer before taking her back to her group.

When I brought her back she wanted to exchange phone numbers. I exchanged numbers with the understanding that my intention is to make friends. At this point is when the one brave fucker wanted to start some shit(and also prove my point that the right-wing in Japan is insane). This is the same guy who told me that he hates Americans. He gets right up in my face and says, `What are you doing American? She belong to Japan . You no talk to her! Understand?` This guy was begging for a broken noise. I thought to myself, `Oh fuck! Here we go. Yet another crazy ass fucking right-winger in Japan.` I finally decided that I was not going to put up with his shit any longer. So, I smiled and said to him,`Be careful what you say. You are making a big mistake. Americans no play with little boys.` He kept smiling at me like some insane maniac as if I was nothing more than shit on his shoes. I just stared him down until he realized that he was in over his head. He slowly backed off but kept that fucked-up smile on his face the entire time.

So, this is the behavior the right-wing in Japan is teaching young men these days. They are going to get this kid killed. This kid had to be no older than 21 at best. He knows nothing about the world at all. I know that one day someone is going to fuck his shit up real bad. I am sure that he is involved with the Japanese right-wing because only the right says such things. So, there you have it. The right-wing in Japan think that all Japanese women are property of Japan. These stupid fucks can even ruin a nice day of cherry blossom viewing.

Mario Cart Wii Madness!

So, when I got off work Wednesday I headed down to Akiba for a little shopping. I do not often find myself in Akiba. The place just creeps me out too much. All the tourist and cartoon geeks really turn me off from the place. None the less, Akiba does have the best Yodobashi department store in Tokyo. The staff there are better than other`s in the chain of department stores. My reason for even going there was to buy Mario Cart Wii. The gal suggested I buy it(more like politely demanded). Like myself, she gets on these gaming kicks sometimes. It is fun for us to get a bottle of hard liqueur, hide out in our apartment, and plays video games until we pass out. I know that sounds strange but we are those kind of people.

It is real easy to shop at Yodobashi in Akiba. They usually have a few people who can speak English well enough to effectively help me out. It did not take long for one of the nice gentlemen who work there to ask me if I needed any help. I guess I the `I don`t have a fucking clue how to find what I want` look on my face. He want all out with helping me. He took me to the area in which the Wii games were sold. He made sure I bought exactly what I needed. The guy even walked me right up to the check out counter. I felt a little awkward being lead around the store like a lost puppy, but I was thankful for his help all the same. Before I left he gave me his business card. He said, `You never need help at this store again just find me and I will take care of you sir.` His final gesture made me feel even more awkward.

Anyway, when I presented Mario Cart Wii(which included one game and two diving wheels) to the gal, she jumped for joy. I must admit I was a little excited as well. After a light dinner and a quick shower, the gal and I were all ready for an evening of drunk driving at home. I was surprised we got through an entire bottle of vodka was were still able to play the game. In true Wii style you actually have to `drive` to play the game. As you become more drunk, your ability to judge how much to turn the wheel should decrease. As luck would have it, the drunker I got the better my ability to play the game. So, maybe drunk driving has it advantages(LOL).

I`m on the Patch

So, I have been trying to quit smoking for about two months now. It has been real hard but I am getting real close to kicking the habit. Well, recently I broke down and started using the tobacco patch. Everyday I wear this little light down patch on either my left or right arm.

The first day it hurt my arm a little bit. It was as if I was getting an injection in my arm all day. At the end of the day my arm felt real sore. Although, I had very little desire to smoke. I did, however, feel real tired. All I wanted to do was go to sleep when I got home. The next morning I was in a real bad mood until I wore a new patch. I have finally learned that nicotine is a very powerful drug. I am convinced that it is more powerful than heroin. The patch gives me much more nicotine than I usually got from smoking. I can feel a strange high from wearing the patch all day. At least I am relaxed and don`t have any desire to rip someone`s head off.

I think the patch is going to work. All I have to do is break my habit of wanting to have a smoke. By not having a cig in my mouth, I think over time I will forget about wanting to smoke. My fear is that I will not be able to stop using the patch. So, I am switching the manner in which I get nicotine.

Anyway, my quest to stop smoking is not over yet. I am doing my best but it has not been easy. I am not ready to give up just yet. I am just too stubborn to give up this idea that I can quit smoking.

A Cure for All ILLS

Working in Japan can be a real bitch sometimes. The long hours and the fucking `politeness system` is enough to dive a man crazy. Well, don`t go jumping in front of a train yet. I have the cure for all your stress relief needs. Beer! That`s right friends when the Japanese are about to drive you right in front of a train with all this, `Please do the job you were hired to do with a cherry on top crap,` just grab a few brews from the local quick stop. In no time at all you will not give a damn about much of anything except that cute gal staring at you from across the street.

Many people wonder how the Japanese are able to deal with having to be nice to even the laziest good for nothing S.O.B. Well, I will let you in on the secret; they know that all the beer they can drink is waiting for them as soon as they leave the office. You can drink yourself stupid just about any place you choose. Do you want to stand on the street corner and get shit-faced while watching all the cute skirt walk by? No problem in Japan! Do you want to stay at a bar all damn night trying to forget about the asshole you had to put the screws to at work? Hell, in Japan we will even give you a point card so you can earn free beer!

It seems in Japan drinking is much a part of life as working long hours and getting some young cute gal to call you papa-san. Where I was born and raised, public drunkenness would get you a night in the local lock-up. In Japan, the cops usually just roll their eyes and laugh at your drunk ass. So, if you have ever wondered why the Japanese are so liberal when it comes to drinking; now you know the truth. Being nice all the time will drive you crazy unless you drink like a fish on a regular basis.

What is most shocking of all is it is rare to see someone not show up for work due to a nasty hangover. They might struggle during the first few hours but they are usually not late. I have seen some of the J-staff in my company show up for work totally hungover; yet they are actually early for work. When it is time to start the day`s business they are locked and loaded. It takes more than an all night bender to break us hard working Tokyo types.

It Is Not All Good Times and Screwing Off

People come to live in Japan for many different reasons. Actually, they come for just about any reason a person can think of these days. There are people who come for a short vacation or just to check out Japan for a few days. Some people come for a few months or even a year or two just to live in a different country. Whatever a person`s reason for coming to Japan I must make one thing very clear: if you are going to work in Japan please take the shit serious!

I have noticed that there are many people who come to work in Japan and treat it like a damn summer camp or something. They tend to not take their job very serious at all. What they forget it that the company they work for is trying to turn a profit and maintain a successful business. When people treat their job like a fucking summer camp get-a-away, all they are doing is getting in the way of some very serious business. While, this does not apply to everyone, there seems to be a large number of lazy jerk-offs who make very little attempt to do their job well. Why would a person come all the way to Japan to work and treat their job like a damn day at a candy store?

From within my own company I am half-tempted to burn some people a new ass for this kind of shit. It is going to become necessary very quickly to weed out the fuck-offs. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I am quickly realizing that maybe some of them do not deserve to be given any wiggle room. What is so hard about coming to work everyday and trying to do your best? Is this really a struggle for some people? There seems to be something about Japan which makes some of my fellow gaijin not give a damn about their job.

So far, I have used the method of leading by example. I come to work and play the role of `model instructor.` I do things which many instructors may not know they should be doing. As I do it, I ask them questions like, `Do you know about...` or `Have you been doing...` If they tell me, `I had/have no idea about that,` I show them what I am doing as well as explaining how it can help them. They are responding pretty well; although there will always be a few jerks who will never listen to anything. It still surprises me how so many people working in Japan lack any motivation.

March 2009 Japan Blog Matsuri: Fast Times In Japan

Okay so this is coming a day late and a dollar short but I am getting it up for the world to enjoy. It has been a busy yet fast week for me. A lot of things going down both professionally and personally. When living life in the fast lane some things must be put on the B-list. So, here we go with this months Japan Blog Matsuri.

This month the topic is fast times in Japan. We have got a few articles from people how have decided to bare all for you enjoyment.

Billy at Tune In Tokyo offers up a interesting tale of being mistaken for trying to smuggle a little pot into the land of the raising sun.

Shane at The Nihon Sun shares a slightly painful experience of trying to talk a Japanese taxi driver into stopping at the right place.

Loco at Loco In Yokohama reveals an experience on the train involving some dirty pervert and a school girl.


McAlpine from the Soul of Japan shares with us all his love of being a bully to just about anyone. Even if they did nothing to him at all.

Nick over at the long countdown offers up a collection of off beat experiences he has had over the years in Japan.

John Turningpin at Mad Tokyo shares the oddity of a night out on the bar scene.



And just because I am such I nice guy(LOL) here is one final late entry to the March Matsuri.

Kanmuri from Turning Iwatean had the pleasure of being asked `Does this ramen have human flesh in it?`

Hayfever Battle and The Helpful Japanese

I never had a problem with Hayfever until I started living in Japan. I do not know exactly why, but I am suffering pretty bad. There must be some tree or flower which does not grow in America which is beating the crap out of my immune system. It all started a few days ago when I woke up with a sore throat. I did not pay it much mind and on with my day. Well, after a enjoyable evening of drinking in Asakusa I woke up the next morning feeling as if I was going to kill over. I knew it was not a hangover. A hangover does not cause blockage of the noise and mass itching of the teeth,eyes, and mouth. Yeah, I got a case of hayfever pretty bad.

No matter if I feel like crap or not, I still have to go to work. This is hard when I feel run down. I made myself go to work despite my condition. My plan was to pick up some hayfever meds from the local drug store. Well, due to the fact I leave for work damn early on the weekends, the fucking drug store had not opened yet. I suffered until I got to my current base school. I went around the corner to the drug store, and as luck would have it, the damn place was actually open. I paid for some over priced meds and made my way to work.

The office lady noticed that I was struggling right away. As usual she just rolled her eyes and assumed I was hung over or something. I explained to her that I was suffering from Hayfever. Her attitude towards me quickly became much lighter. I took the meds and prepared for the days work. Well, on Sundays there is this one student who usually takes the early morning class. He shows up early for his lesson and we usually chat a bit. He also noticed that I was having a hard time. He said to me, `You must be suffering from the Hayfever. I feel sorry for you dear teacher.` He is a stern but gentle man. He even showed me how to correctly take the meds I had bought. He knows that I hate socialized medical care. Despite this knowledge he says, `I know you no want to go but hospital can help you. You pay too much for medication. Drug store no good I think.`

Anyway, on Sunday`s he returns in the evenings with his kids so they can have lessons. Yeah, I have to teach both regular and kids lessons. To my surprise, he says that he says a little gift for me. He introduces his gift in a joking manner by saying, `Ryan-san I went to commie hospital and got something for you.` He laughs as he says this as a way of getting me to accept the gift. He goes on to explain that he got the meds for free(on my and everyone else`s dime of course). He said that his son also suffers from Hayfever; so he understands my pain. He gave me two types of meds. One type is to make my immune system stronger while the second type is for the constant itching. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I found myself at a lose for words. I could only keep saying, `How nice of you` and `Thank you so much.` I made sure to give his kids extra good lessons as a way to show how thankful I was for his kind gesture.

I will really miss the students at my current base school when I am reassigned in the middle of April. I have only told a few students the sad news. Some have said they will transfer to my new base school if they are able. Dammit, it is really hard to not like the Japanese sometimes. They can be stubborn, uptight, racist bastards sometimes, yet there is a gentle caring nature about them which must be noted as a rare value in this twisted post modern world.



As a side note: Hayfever is so bad this year that even the god damn monkeys are having a hard time. Read about the suffering of the Japanese monkeys here