The Plan is Simple...Kick Ass!

The picture you see to your left was taken a few years ago in Yoyogi-park. I was fresh off the boat back then. A raw untamed southern bastard from West Virginia. I was barbaric and unfit for the Japanese public. Many thought it was a very bad idea to unleash me upon the masses in Tokyo. Yet, here I am all those years later. To tell you the truth, this city has kind of fucked my head up.

The kind of mind fuck this dirty city I call home has done to me is not entirely it`s fault. I am to blame just as much as Tokyo is for the state I have allowed myself to sink into. The god of chaos has never left me but that asshole has left me high and dry on one thing which he used to always shield me from: conformity.

Oh yeah gang! Yall would think that conformity would have little or no effect on me but sadly is has found a way to fuck my head up a bit. You see gang, I have been doing my best to pull a fast one on conformity in order to maintain a solid day job and a decent paycheck. This little game I have been playing has had the unexpected side effect of creating a duality in my mind and turning my body to shit. It can happen to the best of us and it happened to me.

I realized this a few months ago and have been in a process of purging myself of the conformity bull shit from my mind and body. A sense of new found liberty if you will. Conformity makes you give a rats ass about things which are totally shit. The idea that I should really worry about what other think of me and how that is going to effect my own happiness is fucked up! There are so many damn snakes in Tokyo that the best thing to do is ID them real quick and dismiss their ass just as fast. I really did give it my best try. Wearing the `nice guy badge` turned out to be not worth the effort. I got sucked into that shit by lust of money and the weight of Japanese corporate culture. Everyone has got to make money but all the ass kissing and political games is a waste of time in my mind. Sadly, there are so many little snakes in the grass that have been forced into a position to write off and dismiss a lot of people. I don`t like being like that but that is the way it has got to be.

Any fucking way, the next step looks to be getting under way soon. I have got to get my body back close to prime condition. I joined a gym and starting from May I am hitting the weights. I have already started to curb eating all the crap food that is so easy to grab in this city. The lifestyle here kind of pushes people to eat shit food. The world of serving the all mighty corporate grid will have a person running around like a chicken with it`s head cut off. I find myself in a hurry to go someplace I don`t want to be at way too often. That `always on the go` lifestyle equals eating grab and go shit food daily. Combine that with all the drinking and smoking and your body turns to garbage pretty quick.

I have tried to quit smoking several times and it always ended in failure. Seeing that smoking is a ball and chain I will have to carry around for a while, the best thing I can do is control it.Ten smokes a day seems like a decent level for now. I am pretty damn sure I an make that a regular level in about two weeks time. I have seen hardcore smokers toss the shit away cold turkey so I can at least put myself on a beggars ration of ten a day.

However, drinking is the weak point. Almost all of my fondest chaotic moments in my life have started and ended with alcohol. I know that is not something most people would be proud of but at least I am honest. I could write an entire book about my tales of alcohol fuel chaos and I am sure it would be a best selling; or at least hit the top 200 NYT best sellers list. Yet there has always been a line with me and alcohol that I only crossed a few times. Drinking should add to the glorious devilish fun not be the fun. As any bad ass hellbilly greaser should know, booze is your buddy not your lover. I can honestly admit that I have only used booze as a shoulder to cry on less than most of the crazed manics you will run into daily. Every time I have realized that I was using alcohol as a substitute for a lover or even emotional support I tossed the stuff in the garbage for a while. With that said, I still have to be careful about the effects of hard drinking. Drinking too much will cause weight gain. The kind of weight gain which is hard to burn off. I see so many beer bellied Japanese guys in Tokyo that is has scared me a bit. I don`t want to end up looking like that.

So the process of rebuilding my body is on. It really is time to kick some ass. 

The Shape of Things to Come

Howdy yall. Here I am again writing late at night. I feel to need to do another one of these late night writing purges. You see gang during all the earthquakes and nuclear fallout fears something far more darker is creeping my way. Truth be told, there are few things I actually fear. Yet, my deepest fear looks to be headed my way in a raw and unforgiving manner.

There are many things you can take from a man and not break him. Although, if the one thing which gives him purpose and reason for living is removed from his life he will be broken. The one thing which gives me purpose seems to be slipping away from me. I hate to admit this but I am struggling to come up with a way to keep what is so dear to my heart. My entire adult life has been focused on only one person. All I know is this one person. When I get right down to it she is my life. I know that matters of the heart is something which turns a lot of people off. There is so much pain in our post-modern world that it can be hard for others to have mercy for those whose lives are being crushed. Yet, I fear this is what is happening to me.

This might very well be the first time I have written so openly about this topic. I tend to shy away form this kind of thing when writing but this blog is an expression of my life for better or worse. It really looks like the love of my life is leaving me. It is hard to put into words how I am feeling at this moment. She really is all I know to be true and good in this dark twisted world. Things are on the verge of ending in explosive fashion. Looks as if I will lose everything this time. The hardest thing to give up is this long deep bond I have with another human being. I am 31 now so that means I have been with this gal for 12 years. As the reality of her disappearing sets in I feel something eating away at me. It started in the pit of my stomach and has been spreading throughout my body. It has made it to the tips of my fingers and has begun clouding my mind with a blanket of darkness. I have never felt this way before. I don`t know what this is exactly. I can only describe it as a kind of death.  A part of me is dying and I can feel it.

The effects are very unexpected to say the least. There is this disconnection I am feeling towards other people. I cannot feel the warmth and presence of others like I used to in the past. They are like balls of clay to me. This is not a pleasant experience. I find myself crossing the street without even looking. I have developed a total lack of concern for things around me. I have tunnel vision. I can only see my face of my darling in my mind. Everything else is just a means to an end. Work has become a chore of greed and money. As these effects set in I can see myself slowly becoming someone very different from what I am today. I really don`t want to end up one of those jaded empty souls known as divorced husbands.

Despite all of these things, I will battle on in an attempt to keep the one person who has given me purpose all these years. She really is all I know. She is so connected to my life that I fear I cannot life alone. I know it is shocking to read me write such a thing. It is shocking for me to admit this to myself. If she really does end up disappearing from my life, I will have to take a hard look at my ability to survive without her. A divorce will mean I lose almost everything. I will not have much to speak of. Living as a spartan would be calling it an understatement. I have no life to return to in the states so Japan is effectively my home. The visa issue will be a mess of shit I cannot even start to understand clearly right now. Every step of the way over the past 12 years she has been by my side helping me. It seems that she may have helped me too much as I think of all the things I will have to handle by myself.

As the situation may end up really bad I am holding on to the little hope that our bond will not be broken. The magic spark which has kept us connected all these years might somehow pull us back together. If it cannot then I face one of the darkest periods in my life.

Ah yes...the life of a ghost in Tokyo is getting complex....   

Late night Muse Part: Not Keeping numbers at this point

I have not done one of these late night thought sessions on this blog in a long time. I have posted stuff late at night a lot, but it is usually something I had planned to write about before hand. This is a little different. I am setting down and writing as it comes. Writing, it seems, is the best therapy.

Currently it seems the god of chaos has again chosen me for hardship. While I am no stranger to hard times, it never gets easier with experience. It does in fact become more intense with experience. Life appears to be an endless journey of peaks and valleys. The peaks are never high enough and the valleys never low enough. Just when it seems I have finally found the highest peak in all the world I fall headfirst into a valley. These things should be expected but it is shocking and emotionally and mentally damaging every time. Yet I still wonder if there is a way to end this cycle without also ending life itself?

If life is all about a series of tests, lessons and learning then there must come a point in which falling down happens less often. These must come a day when a person is forgiven for his/her failings as a human and the grace of the gods are blessed upon us. The pain of failure and falling from glory and happiness is harder and harder to take each time it happens. I find myself, as I do now, going over every misstep and misguided decision I took to reach the point I find myself at this moment. I know I will end up doing this for a while. Trying to find a reason to forgive myself and the situation at large.

It is during these hard times of falling down that I often think of the Japanese cherry blossom. It is one of the greatest metaphors for pure happiness and quick sudden tragedy. When the blossom first starts to show itself it is hardly noticeable. It sprouts in a very gradual and unassuming way. Before you know it, the cherry blossom surrounds you in a blanket of beauty and happiness. The blossoms can make any man smile and fill his heart with youthful glee. Yet as quickly as it beings such happiness it fades away and becomes a distant memory. Life is strange like that you know. As soon as things become pleasant; everything is worn down and reduced to a shadow of its formal goodness.

Unlike the cherry blossom, life always moves forward and never takes a break. When I fall into these dark valleys life keeps pushing on with or without me. What happens in the next few weeks is very uncertain. There is only one thing which is certain; my life will never be the same. 

Rebel Survival During the Great Japanese Earthquake of 2011: Part Two: The New Normal

So here we are one month into all of this madness and I am still still holding strong. I have not become one of the `flyjin` who bailed after the massive quake that rocked Japan. For better or worse I am here and trying to see this one out. 

When I think about I really have no other place to go. I cannot really call America home for the most part. I could go home but what would I be returning to? Going back to West Virginia would be a waste. While I love my mountain home there is very few chances for jobs or even a decent life. I grew up hard, and often reduced to damn near the level of a wild animal, and I have no wish to return to that kind of life. I got a few offers from people to come and live in other parts of America. Those tempting offers are still in the back of my mind, but for now I am staying here in Japan.

If am I going to attempt to ride this out I must adjust to the new normal. Daily earthquakes has been something which is a hell of a lot to get used to. It is really fucked up to have earthquakes as an alarm clock but this is becoming a reality. There have been so many quakes that I stopped trying to keep count. I am sure the number has got to be around 1,000 now. It is kind of like living on a trampoline; just as it seem stable you get bounced around and fall on your ass.

The radiation scares are a twist which makes everyday a little extra tense. While the government keeps telling everyone that things are okay in Tokyo, The nuclear plant in Fukushima keeps puking out radiation everyday. The Japanese government announced that Fukushima nuclear power plant is a level seven disaster. This is the worst kind of nuclear disaster. Kind of makes me really wonder about how well TEPCO is handling things. There still seems to be no real end to the whole situation. 

I am still holding out for as long as I can. I am drinking bottled water and keeping up with the latest information. It is a exciting and dark time to be in Japan.

Rebel Survival During the Great Japanese Earthquake of 2011: Part One The Inital Quake

To says that things here in Tokyo are tense is an understatement. The nation of Japan has been though one of the worst disasters in recorded history. We here in Tokyo have been damn lucky not to experience the horror up north. There has been a lot of confusion here in Tokyo but no looting and violence is very low. For the most part people have been chill. Problems are mounting but so far we are getting by. The Japanese government is trying to keep the capital city going for as long as possible; which is a good idea considering Tokyo is the heart of Japanese culture and government. Beside slight shortages of gas food and power, Tokyo is stable.

Yet, yall might be wondering what a hill billy like myself does to survive during a crisis like this. A proper rebel worth his metal should know what to do when shit hits the fan. I am no different in this fact.

When the quake went down I was actually scoring some bread(working). It was just another strange day in Tokyo. I showed at the Kamata branch ready to make some sales and teach some lessons. I was going full steam that day. Had been able to get a few students to take extra lessons that day. I was feeling pretty damn good as a `professional.` It all started while I was teaching a group of three older ladies. About 15 minutes into a lesson the shaking started. It was light at first. After 30 seconds it started to rattle the entire building. That is when we all took cover. The entire building was rocking and rolling. It was like being on one of those damn drop zone rides at carnivals;up and down, bouncing, rattling and not knowing when it was going to be over. There was a moment when I thought I was going to die. Yet, I did not pray to god or anything like that. I only thought of my wife. I remember having her smiling face in my mind. I closed my eyes and could only see her. I was ready to die. Then everything stopped.

I opened my eyes and realized I was alive. For a few seconds everything was silent. It took my brain a little time to realize what had just happened. There was little time to think as everyone at the branch started freaking out. I went into survival mode. My mind started operating at a level I did not think I had in me. I ordered everyone out of the building. It did not take much convincing because everyone had the same thing in mind. Everyone gathered what they had on hand and chucked it down the emergency stairs. Once outside we just kind of stared around at all the confusion and chaos going on around us. Several people gathered with us because they knew we were NOVA and was something familiar to rally around. I lit a smoke and took a step back. The students spoke to me a little bit but it was clear their minds were racing. I pretty much remained speechless for most of the first hour. I was trying to process what was going on around me and develop a plan.

After some time all the students left. It was just me and two staff left to fend for ourselves. They were scared and confused. The male staff wanted to stick to his guns and start working again. I convinced both of them to at least go with me to the train station and pick up a little information. So off to the station we went. The station was chaos but there were some TV`s at one of the shops showing the news. We saw with shock the images on the screen. The nation had fallen into chaos. The earthquake and tsunami damage kind of made me numb emotionally. Seeing that the building our was branch in was fine, we decided to go back to the building for safety. The gal working with us only lived 15 minutes away so we sent her home for the day.  The male staff and I headed back to the branch. We watched streaming news via internet considering that no students were showing up. The footage we saw of the tsunami was shocking to say the least. We were like deers in headlights staring at the computer screen. It was a lot to take in all at once. After a while we stopped watching because it was too much to bear.

Once we gave up on the news be decided it was time to eat something. We were not hungry but we just wanted to get the butterflies out of our stomachs. I went to the nearest convenience store, and liquor store, to grab a few things. We ate like starved hounds and got a few stiff drinks in us. Attempting to be professionals we waited until work was `officially` over and stepped outside for the stiff drinks. It really helped our nerves believe me. At that point we got a call from one of our company offices near by offering to take us in for the night. If yall don`t know Kamata is a pretty fucked up part of Tokyo. Not the kind of place you want to camp out in an office for the night. We accepted the offer and off we went.

I had to lead the staff a lot though this entire process. He was still a mess of nerves and lacked any amount of patience what so ever. Yet, I had to get him to a safe place so I paid no mind to his complaints for the time being. Our goal was Oimachi  which was three stations from Kamata; so off we went. I started out by taking back streets close to the train tacks. GPS systems were not working correctly by cell phone so we had to track our progress the old fashioned way by using line of sight. I knew that back streets could be dangerous but it seemed like a good idea at the time. My original plan seem to be working at first. We had a direct line of sight to the train tracks for a good 1/3 of the journey. Yet, after a while it became harder and harder to maintain a good view of the tracks. The staff was getting harder to deal with as well. He started complaining a bit too much for me to handle. Eventually I stopped and said to him, `Look you are going to have to stop being part of the fucking problem and start being part of the solution motherfucker.` He was taken back by my words to put it lightly. It was at that point I decided to start walking on the train tracks directly. Of course the staff did not want to do this. He resisted and I gave him the option of going the rest of the way by himself or following me. He choose to follow me. He chilled out for most of the rest of our journey.

After traveling on those dark desolate tracks for a good hour, mostly in total silence, we finally arrived at Oimachi. The staff made a bee line for the office. I had never seen any Asian be so happy to see another Asian in my entire life. When we arrived at the office and I instantly felt a hell of a lot better. Kamata staff jumped at the chance to communicate with the Oimachi staff. It was like watching an odd sort of family reunion. Yet, my greatest relief came when I discovered another teacher on hand; and he was American! I was so happy to be with someone from my own culture. We instantly clicked like blood brothers. I got him to go outside with me and we spent several hours getting drunk on the corner and shooting the shit. We got pretty hammered and passed out warm, safe and drunk in the office later.

And that my friends was day one...         
  
   

A Religious Experience In Japan

Japan is the last place anyone would consider to be a place in which to have a religious experience. Truth be known, there is a lot of religion in Japan. They are not so out in the open about it but all those temples and shrines are not just for tourist; people take those places very serious. I recently found this fact to be very true.

My darling wife dragged me, kicking and screaming like a child with tourette syndrome, to her home city of Hamamatsu. Normally I would jump at a trip to Hamamatsu. The place kind of kicks ass from my perspective. It is a rough and diverse city. It kind of reminds me of Detroit, before Detroit became a total shit hole of crime, poverty and eviction anarchy. My wife always like to point out to me all the places bad people do bad things in Hamamatsu. She does this because she knows I like things which are not for the faint of heart. It is her way of saying, `My city is fucked up just like you. You would like to live here.` Yet, that is another blog post for another day.

Anyway, the reason I had to be dragged to Hamamatsu was for the purpose of celebrating the death of her grandmother, and secretly the death of our unborn child. This was odd to begin with because death is usually handled by Buddhist in Japan. My wife`s family is Shinto and by Japanese tradition should be looking to Buddhist to handle the afterlife. As it was explained to me, her family is a different sect of Shinto which deal with life and death by way of the same god. Regardless of the faith, I have a distrust of organized religion.

There is just something about organized religion which puts me off. I think it comes from the violent blood thirsty history of organized religion which makes me have a loathing for it. Growing up in a Christian society as a rebellious Mormon kid did little to gain my trust for religion in general. I grew up having an ideology beat into my head that all other people, including other Christians, are vile and are going to burn in hell. I was not allowed, and it did not stop me, from drinking any caffeine or alcohol, smoking, relationships with gals outside the flock, rock music, world culture and any notions that science could teach me anything. As you may have guessed,  none of that shit had much of an impact on me. The whole pressure to look down on non-believers and trapping people into a box always left a bad taste in my mouth. Despite my aversion, I agreed to spend a day knee deep in the Shinto faith; with in-laws who do not speak my native language.

The festivities started off with an in-home ceremony performed by two priests of sorts. I had no idea what was going on at all. The best I could do was just do whatever my wife did and hope I did not embarrass myself too much. I must admit that to my surprise it was a pretty heavy situation. It is hard for me to describe the whole event. It was as if the priest where attempting to bring the soul of my wife`s dead grandmother back to the land of the living for a few minutes. The priest did several things to this kind of tribute shrine which my in-laws have constructed in the house. While everyone is bowing and doing a three clap gesture repeatedly, the priest open a small door on a mini-shrine and recite some sort of command while waving their arms. This goes on several times until finally my wife turns to me and says, `It is okay now. You can relax. Grandmother is happy.` Whatever the fuck just had happened was totally lost on me.

The ceremony was not over just yet. Everyone loads into cars and heads out to a potato farm area in which a large shine claims home roost. At that point I started to feel like the whole event had turned into Children of the Corn Japanese style. It took about an hour to reach this BFE potato farm area. The area had an eerie peacefulness about it. There was not a lot of sound except for a few cars passing by. Everyone else seem to think the situation natural so I just went with it. Once everyone got settled into the temple it was time to basically repeat the same process again.

There was a little extra bonus with this go around. I lost complete feeling in both my damn legs and feet. The Japanese have a way of sitting which must be meant to destroy ones ability to walk normally. Siaza, as the Japanese call it, is the proper manner of sitting on the floor in Japan. It involves folding your legs and resting your ass on your feet while sitting upright.. To say the least this shit is really painful. The ceremony at the Shrine ran longer than expected which lead to me losing the ability to walk. After everything was done, I attempted to stand up and collapsed on the floor. My lack of walking ability caused everyone to do lightening fast neck spins. Everyone just kind of stared at me. There was a few moments in which everyone just kind of froze and thought to themselves, `Did the gaijin really just lose the ability to walk after sitting in Saiza?` I had succeeded in achieving two things at that moment: 1) convincing all my in-laws that American`s really can`t sit in Saiza. 2) Bringing the gaijin to a shrine will embarrass the shit out of the entire family every time. After stumbling around the shrine for a few minutes I sealed my fate as being the asshole of the day.

Once things chilled out for a bit everyone loaded up the cars again and headed to a upscale hotel for a proper high class meal. On my end, this is when things got a bit strange. I started drinking sake and chatting up the younger of the two priest. For some reason this guy took an interest in me. He wanted to talk about my religious beliefs. This is a wacky topic to start up with me but I had been drinking and did not care to share my views with this Japanese priest. I pretty much told him I hated organized religion and cited my reasons. He was at a lose of words and moved on to another topic before returning to the subject of my own personal spirituality. The man said something to me which had a major effect on me. `When a man`s past becomes too much for him to bear, he must strip himself naked and recreate himself to express what is inside of him.` We talked about a few other mindless things but that one piece of advise stuck with me.

Later that night I wondered around the city a bit just to see what was shaking. I ended up taking roost at a Yakiniku joint. They offered a 100 minute all-you-can-drink deal for 1,200 yen and meat plates for no higher than 350 yen. Only a blind fool hooked on crack would pass up such a deal. I was all alone considering that I was surrounded by native speaking Japanese who are not used to seeing `gaijin` as often as Tokyo folks are. Anyway, such forced solitude got me thinking about what the priest said. Maybe my past really is holding me back. Maybe all the shit which keeps me up at night IS the problem. As I gulped down glass after glass of poison it all became more clear to me; my past is fucking me in the ass daily. Such epiphany came to me just as the beef tongue started to blackened on the grill. I had to rip the meat off the grill and plop it on my plate. Perfectly good beef tongue gone damn near to waste due to my own self distraction. Yeah...self distraction.

Bam! Then it hit me like a prize winning fighter. My past is my own self distraction. I distract myself by dwelling on my rocky and controversial past. In order to be a true lean mean pipe wielding  force of unstoppable energy I must displace the monkey on my back and beat the shit out of that bastard with a steel baseball bat. The past must not define me; it only remains as lessons learned. With lessons learned came final call and a slight nudging to pay and slap some leather on the sidewalk.

And that is a religious experience in Japan...                              . 

Crossing My Moral Line Must Be Fun

Here I sit again late at night as the howling February wind beats against my humble little dug out in Tokyo. As usual I am struggling to find sleep. This has been a problem of mine for years. I really don`t sleep much. There is this thing about me which I don`t share with people so much. The shocking truth is that I have a really strong moral line. A lot of people might think that I don`t really have much of a moral line. It is true that I really like having a good time. I have done plenty of wild things which in some people`s eyes might seem very immoral. Such opinions are okay with me because I do push things to the edge sometimes just for the pure fucking thrill of it. That does not make me an immoral person. I have my own sense of integrity which does not need the approval of others. Still, crossing my moral line really pisses me the fuck off!

I can be a very understanding person. More understanding then most people you will ever meet. Yet, I have come across a lot of fuckers in Tokyo who seem to make it their goddamn goal in life to find someone`s moral line then step right over it for some sick jolly. This is not something which was normal back in the mountains of West Virginia. I mean, I would run across such dicks but it was actually pretty rare. It was a wise thing not to fuck with someone and be a general prick. In fact, such behavior usually ended up in a ass beating sooner or later. The only exception was after a lot of drinking; then there were no rules.

While mass amounts of drinking does allow for a lot of relaxing of moral lines all in the name of a good time, under regular situations wrong is wrong and right is right.

It is my belief that every human has a pure sense of right and wrong built into them by way of the human spirit. I am not talking about religion or any idea of `god` by any means. It is our unique sense of empathy, which is stronger and more self influential than other creatures, which creates in us the natural sense of right and wrong. Although, for many people they choose to resist and beat down such natural essence until they can no longer feel or understand it clearly. They do not do this by themselves. They get plenty of help from those who have embraced the darker aspects of human nature. Yet, I don`t accept being twisted by dark motherfuckers as an excuse for crossing the truth of the moral line which shapes me.

There are a few things which way too many folks have no problem stepping all over with little concern.

It is wrong to point out someone`s shortcomings without also trying to help them be stronger by offering compassionate gentle assistance.
In other words, cold blooded attacks on a person, either personally or professionally, meant to belittle and marginalize someone. That is fucked up! Don`t do it.

It is wrong to hate someone and treat them badly based simply on the fact they have physically attractive traits or unique abilities, educated skills or mindset.
In other words, don`t fuck over unique hard working people who are a little different from the accepted norm just because they are an easy target.. That is fucked up! Don`t do it.

It is wrong to use your position or title in business or otherwise to carry out personal attacks in order to satisfy your own jaded opinions.
In other words, it is not acceptable to be a prick just because you can get away with it. That is fucked up! Don`t do it.

It is wrong to assume that everyone is worthless until they do something which serves your own agenda.
In other words, it is not okay to be a little snake in the grass with a god complex. That is fucked up! Don`t do it.

It is wrong to attempt to control others to serve your own ego.
In other words, being a sick little sociopath is always fucked up and deserves nothing less than an ass kicking of a lifetime. That is always fucked up! Stop fucking doing it!

It is wrong to attain any joy from causing mental or emotional pain of others.
In other words, all you sick little fuckers who puke out malice comments directed at others to vent your own hatred of yourself need to realize that most people are struggling to understand their own identity as well. That is fucked up! Stop hating so much and love more.

These are just a few common things I have experienced folks doing here in the city with little hesitation. I try real hard to follow the natural essence of the built in human code of ethics. I am not perfect because I am a being of emotions; like every human. There are times when I give in to the twisted dark aspects of the human experience. Although, I try my best to never deny the essence of the human spirit which resides inside of me.

Now, have you got a taste of what my moral line is? You are getting a better sense of who I am? Well, either way you should keep reading future post and learn more about the life of a ghost in Tokyo.    

 
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